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Child Support Question...nvr
June 8, 2007
7:37 am
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nvr2late
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I have a question that I cannot seem to find the answer to...my ex lost his job 2 months ago, he was fired.

we have only been divorced about 6 months..and we have a 2 year court order (which I think only means that we cannot change the custody arrangements unless there is harm to the kids).

he pays child support, but his severance has run out.

my question is...will the court order stand for another 1 1/2 years, with him still paying the same support that he was suppose to..or will he get out of paying support because he does not have a job.

now, mind you...there is a reason he was fired and he will not take a job less than he was making for $$ because he cannot afford everything he has with less $$.

can he take me back to court for ME to pay HIM child support?

I guess I am just full of questions...

nvr

June 8, 2007
8:02 am
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4harmony
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nvr, I have been on the other side of this, so I can answer for my state, which is Virginia. He is still responsible for child support even though he lost his job. He can get it reduced, but he must go to court to get this done. Until he does, he is expected to keep the original order. There is a minimum child support payment that it cannot go below, no matter where he works, or IF he works. He will be expected to make up any back payments he misses while unemployed. The original order will stand until he goes to court and has it changed. The only way he can get child support from you is if he gets physical custody of the kids, which would be hard to do, especially without a job. Also, I know it's not your deal, but a job that pays less will pay more bills than no job, until he finds something else. I hope this helps!
4harmony

June 8, 2007
8:19 am
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nvr2late
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thank you...yes it does help!
I was thinking that if he took me to court, it would just be a mess for him..because this is the 2nd job he has been fired from in 3 years.
he is not a 'bum'...he works hard but he is very difficult to get along with and was making a LOT of $$ at it.

ok, so...if he gets a court date...which would be hard for him to do, he would have to pay a lawyer to do this?
it would be months later and I can bring his ex-boss in to show how he screwed up.

I was worried because I just bought a house, and I guess I maybe relied on that support a little more than I should have, I guess.

but if he was to get child support from me, we would BOTH lose our houses...and the kids would be the ones that suffer for it.

thank you!!!!
nvr

June 8, 2007
10:33 am
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4harmony
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You're welcome! You're supposed to be able to rely on the child support, because it's for the kids and he is obligated, so don't worry about that part. The only thing is, he can pretty far behind before they'll actually take action towards him, and this could make it difficult for you. Also, depending on how far he will go, some men will go to jail before paying, so hopefully he won't let anything go that far. 4harmony

June 8, 2007
11:17 am
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nvr2late
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no, he would not let that happen..he said yesterday that he would not be a 'deadbeat' dad...
and if he has to borrow the $$, he would. which is probably what is going to happen.

and I guess you are right, he makes me feel like a failure that I would even GET child support..

and buying this house, believe me...does not make up ANYTHING for the kids...besides 1/4 of putting a roof over their heads!

Whew...I do feel better..
I know I will be fine, him I do worry about to a point...but also know that he made his own bed!!

nvr

June 8, 2007
11:21 am
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thedogsmom
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in the state of california- the laws seem the same as 4harmony stated.

The court order and amount he is obligated to pay is the amount he is obligated to pay- whether he has a job or not...If his pay changes- and he takes a job where he does not make as much money- then he can go to court and get the amount he owes you reduced. He can also do this if you get a raise or make more money. The amount he pays is based on a formula which includes how much both of you make and how much time each parent spends with the children.

As long as he is not able to pay child support- you are still entitled to the amount PLUS the state of california charges a 10% penalty fee for each payment that is not made in full. So the longer he goes unemployed WITHOUT going to court to inform them of his circumstance- he is racking up more debt he will owe you.

It is very difficult to repay the past debt and the penalty fees and to get caught up once you fall behind.

If he gets more custody of the children then he would not need to pay so much- the court will adjust what he owes based on the amount of time he has the children.

still- as far as you are concerned- just because he owes you money- and even if the court will garnish his wages once he begins working again- doesn't mean you can count on getting it. You cannot get money from someone who has none or who hides or runs from it. So be careful as far as counting on it.

June 9, 2007
6:58 am
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nvr2late
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no, I did not say I was counting on GETTING it now, but I did use child support to support my kids.
in the best way that I knew how.

I thought I could count on the $$ while they grew up, since he left me with nothing and did not have to make a change in his life.

now if it were alimony, then I could see not having to count on it..I did not get alimony, so that does not concern me.

but I want to make sure he is just not going to be able to 'get out' of paying it because of the job, since that is what he seems to do..just get out of things he does not like.

and I dealt with 2.7 years of a divorce he made HORRIBLE for me and expensive.

to get to this point 6 months later, scares me!

thank you all for you input and the states where you live in, have a tough job to do to collect child support, I assume.

we will see what happens to him soon, I know he will have to sell the house, at a loss..and he had his brother co-sign for him, so I am sure he has to figure something out.

thank you again!
nvr

June 9, 2007
9:54 am
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readyforachange
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nvr...I don't know the answer to your questions, either. What I do know is that you should probably sit down and look at your own budget to figure out how you can make it without relying on his support. It may be hard, but I'll bet you could do it. And, you may have to for a while. Your heart is in the right place in that you don't want your kids lives to be disrupted. He is an alcoholic, and wont' ensure that their life won't be disrupted because he can only think of himself and his needs. So, their stability and consistency will come from you.

Don't worry so much about his problems, and focus on you and your kids. You are incredibly strong and a great mom, and you'll make it.

Hang in there, girl!

June 10, 2007
6:43 am
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nvr2late
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ready..thank you!
That is what I have been doing...trying to figure out a way to make it without his support...and I can.

He does not think of the kids..which I STILL don't understand..but it is truly hard for me to feel sorry for him when he has been living the high life and not thinking about consequences!

but his irresponsibility has a ripple effect on many people!

thank you for the kind words, my kids are ALL I think about (and for him to say for the past 3 years that I am a horrible mom!)

I can live without a lot of things, I know that..and the kids can too.
I will have to do what I have to do to keep the house and make sure the kids are secure and safe.

we will see what happens, if he takes me back to court, I will deal with that then and not worry about it.

I did tell him last week that he was 'mean and selfish and will probably never change'...my gosh...
why did I not see this before??? I think I did, and chose to think that he would not do as much damage that he has...

and I have my kids out of that mess...

I am strong, and a great mom...I will do whatever I have to do! 🙂

nvr

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