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Chelonia....
March 15, 2009
6:44 pm
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red blonde
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I am crying my eyes out..my girl furkid died today..I am not sure what to do next.

March 15, 2009
9:46 pm
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mamacinnamon
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((((red blonde)))))

I'm sorry to hear about your furkid. What do you mean you are not sure what to do next?

March 15, 2009
9:57 pm
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red blonde
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Thank you, Chelonia.

(((((Chelonia)))))

I could have her cremated and her ashes in an urn. But that is more than I can afford at the moment. I could have her cremated with other animals and not get her remains for about a third of the price. I am thinking about burying her in my back yard...if I can find a place where there are not alot of tree roots, etc. I just feel like I am the blame for her death. I feel really really bad.

March 15, 2009
9:59 pm
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red blonde
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I really miss her.

March 16, 2009
8:12 am
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chelonia mydas
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Oh Redblonde,

I'm so sorry to hear this. You loved eachother so much and she had such a great life. I know you miss her, but she is in a better place now.

How is her brother doing? How are you doing?

I'm sorry I didn't turn on the computer yesterday but I'm here for a little bit today if you want to talk.

Sending you and your furkid big comforting hugs.

March 16, 2009
8:55 am
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CAMER
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hi Red....what was your furkids name?? and was it a dog or cat?? and how old?? keep talking, it helps

(((Huge hugs your way)))

March 16, 2009
9:21 am
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chelonia mydas
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((((((Red))))))

You are not to blame for her death. Not at all. I remember all the care and concern you have had for her in the past. It took lots of love and care to get her through the parasites and other medical issues etc. and even just the worries you had about her quality of life when I recommended caging her to help control some of the diarehha/litter box issues she had. You loved her so much. I can't imagine anyone taking better care of her than you have done. She died because it was her time to leave this existence. You had no control over that.

But I also understand your guilt. I have it everytime I loose a furkid too. But I try to find peace and keep reminding myself that it was just their time to go.

Even when I ran over Nacie and killed him... I still feel horrible about that and miss him terribly. But each time I think of it I just remind myself that it was his time to go. At least he died quickly. I didn't run over him on purpose. I actually stopped the truck just minutes before to chase him into the yard when he ran back under the tire as I was going 5 miles an hour down the driveway. So after months now, I've come to the conclusion that it just had to be his time to leave this existance. But it still hurts and I still feel guilty.

She knows you love her very much and that you pampered her and took care of her beyond what most people do. She is one of the few cats in the world who are lucky enough to have a loving humanmom who would do anything for her. That is what you always did.

Even the fact that you care about what to do with her body is a testiment to how much you love her and how valued she is in your life.

Be kind to yourself in your time of grief. You did the best you could, which is better than what 90% of the folks out there do.

Could you work out a payment plan with the crematorium? would they cremate her with other animals and just give you all the ashes? I know that it would be some her and some a few others, but you can think of it as paying respects to some other animals whose owners couldn't do that for their pets, or maybe they would even be homeless pets who were euthanized. This would allow you to scatter her ashes in your yard along with providing a final resting place for others who weren't as fortunate as your sweet kitty.

One of the shelters I worked at had a crematorium and we did public cremations too. If the owners would ask, we would work with them. We couldn't offer a payment plan (becuase we had too many times where people didn't keep up with the payments) but we would give them the option to pay for a group cremation and provide them with the mixed ashes from that cremation. But I also volunteered in those cases to do the end-process for owner pick up on my lunch time. So you might have to pay a little more to cover that cost. Also be prepared for a box of ashes if they allow you to take home a group cremation.

Sending you lots of hugs and support during this sad time.

March 16, 2009
9:31 pm
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red blonde
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Thank you, CAMER, for your kind thoughts.

Checkers was my girl furkid, Smokey is her brother...they were raised from kittens...Their mothers name was Porsche..and elegant almost Egyptian looking cat...their father was huge...deep charcoal grey almost like a Prussian Manx...almost the size of a bull dog...Porsche died from a snake bite after the kittens were five weeks old..there were four of them...one kitten died, one was given away to a good home and I kept my two furkids.

Checkers looked like her mother except for small grey patches that looked like checkerboard on top of her head...which over the years, just faded away.

Smokey is dark charcoal grey and misses his sister...looks around the house for her and leaves food in his dish for her. I hope he will be okay...they had never been apart ... except for vet visits.

I never had children, only step children, so they were my babies, my kids. And I have had them for almost 13 years. Born 5 days after my birthday ... they were born March 25th. I will miss her so!

Thank you, CAMER.

(((((CAMER))))))

March 16, 2009
9:47 pm
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red blonde
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((((((Chelonia))))))

I decided to bury her. I dug down til I was getting to almost pure white fluffy sand...and laid her gently on it...and put a plasic container of items with her...food, cat treats, a bird's feather, a small gold floating heart (of which I have the mate and will wear), her harness), some crystals, a toy mouse and plastic ring that she used to play with, a small lock of my hair and some of her brother's fur, a crucifix, ribbons of gold and of silver, and other things. I guess that sounds silly to do, but it felt right and good to do that. She was very much loved and we miss her. This was her home for 10 years and the thought of her being cremated with others...just didn't sit right...and somehow neither did her ashes. I planted a Century Plant on top and placed a large piece of drift wood behind the Century plant. I plan to put stones and flag stones around the area and even a little placque with her name on it...eventually...it has been raining gently...so that is all I could do at the moment...Oh, underneath the boughs of my bayberry tree (I think that is what is is...not sure...the leaves have a wonderful scent to them...and there are berries of sorts on it) I swear I hear her 'meow' at times...like when I was driving.

She was pure white except for the small charcoal grey checkerboard patch on her head...which faded away.

THANK YOU, Chelonia, for being so understanding...we DO love our furkids. And my heart goes out to everyone who has lost a beloved pet.

((((((Chelonia)))))))

March 16, 2009
10:33 pm
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red blonde
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Thank you, MamaC...I am sorry that I thought it was Chelonia that had posted...please forgive my mistake and thank you for your warmth and understanding and support!

((((((MamaC))))))

March 17, 2009
12:33 am
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red blonde
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I don't think that I am going to enjoy my birthday very much this Friday...

March 17, 2009
1:36 am
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chelonia mydas
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((((Red))))

How are you doing today?

Here are some helpful websites for grieving furkid-moms n dads. Some even offer space where you can post a memoral for Checkers. petloss.com has a monday night candle ceremony you can participate in to.

http://www.aplb.org/

http://www.petloss.com/

http://www.griefhealing.com/co.....lovers.htm

http://www.imom.org/loss/

Sending you hugs and support during this time of heartache and loss

March 17, 2009
2:12 am
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red blonde
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((((Chelonia))))

Thank you for the websites, I am going to check them out.

I am doing a bit better since I laid her to rest in the yard...with my little 'tribute' box...don't know what else to call it. It just felt right to me to keep her here.

Don't know what I can do for her brother, he has been looking and meowing for her. Just been holding him, petting him and giving him all the love that I can. He is so thin still...but it is a good sign that his nose is cold and wet and his stool is basically harder...though today...it was somewhat mushy... Missing his sister and perhaps grieving, he knows that something is wrong. I just don't want to lose him!

He is leaving some food in his dish for her...and checks to see if it has been eaten....it is so sad to watch him do that.

I will get better...I hope that he gets better, too!

March 17, 2009
11:34 pm
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chelonia mydas
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(((Red and Smokey)))

Animals grieve too. You are doing the right things to help him through his grief. It will take time for both of you to work through this. Things just won't be the same without her, but as you adjust it will get better.

I've done the tribute box too. Its a nice way to honor their life and spirit.

Sending you and Smokey lots of hugs and sunshine to help you through

March 18, 2009
12:22 am
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red blonde
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((((Chelonia))))

I believe that animals have souls as well...and when I couldn't decide...and hadn't slept well and only a few hours...when I woke up, I just 'knew' what I had to do. I had worried about running into a lot of roots from the trees and bushes where I 'knew' to place her body..but when I started to dig, there were surprisingly few roots to contend with. And then when I reached the almost pure white fluffy sand...it surprised me again...it was down about 3 feet..it was perfect for her. The 'tribute' box was something I 'knew' to do as well...as though I were being 'directed' or 'told'. And the gentle sprinkling of the rain was also good.

Thank you for your hugs and sunshine, and I wish the same for you and all of your furkids...may you all be well and happy.

(((((Chelonia and Chelonia's furkids)))))

Red!

March 19, 2009
10:37 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Hi Red,

How are you doing today?

I'm glad you followed your heart and it sounds like you found the perfect resting place.

Sending you lots of comforting hugs

March 20, 2009
8:26 pm
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bangles
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Awwwww.....redblonde......You did the right thing. I know you gave furkid the best possible life. I believe that they, too, have souls, and Fukid knows she was loved. I also hope that you are enjoying you BD even though this happened so close to it. We love our pets....I think that in itself speaks volumnes. Bangles

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