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Chelonia lost another pet today, very sad and needing support
November 24, 2010
12:00 am
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It
sometimes angers me when people discount the loss of a pet. I am a
Christian, I have a child. I in no way equate my pets with my
child. Quite frankly I have never experienced the loss of a child
and pray I never do, BUT out pets give us unconditional love and
affection. No where else in the world do we get that. The loss of a
beloved pet hurts just as much as any other loss, but hurts in it's
own special way.

I am so glad a lot
of the card companies are finally recognizing that and making
sympathy cards.

Bitsy

November 24, 2010
12:00 am
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Chel,
this is not related to your pets, but wanted to mention something
to you. I have been watching the exchange with the young girl on
the other thread. Something strikes me as odd, and I can't put my
finger on it, only that it sets off my spider sense of "not right".
I feel guilty even posting this because if she's for real, then she
has been to hell and back and deserves help, comfort and healing,
and I don't want to make her suffering worse by casting
doubt.

But I care about
you, and feel a need to say something, even if it means getting
flamed. You yourself have been through so much, and you give so
much support here. These forums are a beauty in that they are
anonymous, but there's also the potential for trickery because of
that. Please be sure to take care of yourself too.

(((Chel)))

November 24, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Friends,

Thank you for your
continued support. I'm feeling better but still empty, but I know
it will continue to change over time. Your continued heart felt
sympathies and support is greatly appreciated and has helped me get
through this difficult time.

I'm now feeling
like I could loose any of my furkids at any time now. I know it is
because I have lost so many in such a short period of time, but my
cat hacked up a hairball and my first reaction was Oh no, not you
too. But then I thought about it and realized that it was a
hairball and not the same as what Avie had been doing... but it
just shows me how I have a ways yet before I've recovered from
this. And I know that I have 6 more that are at or beyond their
average life expectancy, so I'm trying to embrace this stage of
life. It is giving me a much better understanding of how my
grandparents were feeling as they aged and were always checking the
obituaries to see if any friends were listed. I used to think that
was so wrong, but now I see it is just what happens at this stage
of life.

OBOTO,

Yes I suspect that
she might not be for real too but for whatever reason this person
needs attention. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your
insights. And also thank you for keeping it off of the other
thread.

If she is for real
then she needs help and support in a very big way and this
discussion would be very harmful to her.

If she is not
completely honest or not at all honest, then hopefully the support
being provided can be used by others. There are so many people who
read our posts but never post. I know that whatever support we give
eachother is read and appreciated by many more people than the
single recipent of that support. We have no idea if there are
others in a similar situation to what India describes that are too
scared to post but are reading and getting the needed information.
Every bit of support that is given to anyone here goes to that
individual and also to any person in that similar
situation.

The Universe has
an interesting way of providing what is needed when it is needed to
the people in need, we just have to be open to the
experience.

But I also
understand the other side of that, because she is triggering things
from the past that wouldn't be dealt with right now otherwise. But
I have to just trust that it is a trigger for me because I have not
dealt with it yet. There is no good time to be triggered and deal
with the aftermath. But each time I am triggered it is another
opportunity to practice ignoring skills or to face the demons and
go to battle. For now I'm doing a little of both, but more of the
ignoring than the confronting. But it is my choice to partake in
the conversation. If it becomes too much to deal with, I hope for
the strength to just walk away and be OK with it.

PS. when I stayed
up with her the other night, I was also checking on Sunshine
regularly because it was her first night back in the aviary since
Opus's murder. Supporting India gave me something else to focus on.
So regardless of the truth on her side, it helped me a lot and made
that night much easier to get through and for that I'm
grateful.

November 24, 2010
12:00 am
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namaste? What does this mean? it sounds calm.

November 25, 2010
12:00 am
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Chel,
you truly are "good people". Wishing you peace and comfort in all
you do.

November 25, 2010
12:00 am
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puptent
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(((chelonia mydas))) In my eyes you did the right thing. You
put helping someone first. I learned a lot from your advice on why
a person needs to get away from an abuser. I believe that this
person coming to post needs help & may have saved Sunshines
life. My path towards recovery has been to accept and value what
others share instead of falling into my old control patterns of co
dependence which would have been to focus on what others should or
should not be posting.

November 25, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Aw
shucks y'all, that's so sweet of you to say. I have learned so much
from each of you and truely appreciate the support you have
posted.

Namaste has
several meanings. It is used in yoga practice as well as a common
greeting in parts of Asia.

Some of the
meanings I'm familar with include:

The divine in me
honors the divine in you

The greatest good
in my soul honors and respects the greatest good in your
soul

The goodness in my
heart honors the goodness in your heart

I honor that place
in you where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that
place in me and you are in that place in you, there is only one of
us.

It is an
acknowledgement of equality and oneness for all life.

November 26, 2010
12:00 am
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I
like this, Namaste. very much, Chelonia.

Loves from
Paws

November 28, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Hi
Friends,

Its been a week
now since Opus was killed. Sunshine is doing fine, but I still feel
a little sick when I first check on her in the morning.

Sweetpea, my
cockatoo, is probably going to lay an egg soon. She isn't eating
and is quiet (very unusual for her) and I know this is what she
does, but I'm feeling anxiety like she is getting sick and may die.
Logically I know this isn't true, she will pass her egg in the next
day or two and be back to her normal loud gregarious self. But I
don't know how to tell my nerves they are being so
silly.

Usually I light a
candle in honor of a recently deceased loved one as my way of
letting go and saying good bye. This has been an especially
important ceremony for situations where the loved one died suddenly
or I wasn't able to finish saying good bye before they transitioned
to the next existance.

As important as
this is to me, I still haven't lit a candle for Opus yet. I've
tried to pick one out for him, but none of the ones I see seem
right. Tonight I purposefuly went shopping for a candle for him and
I got really angry at all the other shoppers that kept passing by
me and all the annoying Christmas music. I had to leave the store I
was so angry. And I sat in the car and evaluated what was I angry
at? I don't know why I was so angry.

On top of it all
things at work are especially stressful, they finally have the
results of the managers review they did on me 3 months ago and I
have to drive 6 hours one way for the meeting where they will give
me the results. Its just a BS process, but why after 3 months of
ignoring me have they just now decided to do this? And I'm having
to try to hire new research assistants and technicians and there is
a lot of political BS that is going along with that too.

I just want to
scream. Actually I did come home from shopping and just finished
screaming into a pillow. Now my voice hurts and my face is hot but
the tightness in my chest is less.

I think I'm
falling apart. But I'm still trying to put good things out to the
universe. I'm trying to understand why all this BS is happening.
I'm trying to just embrace it and let it move through me and allow
it to be and not fight so much, but really how much more will I
loose before it all stops?

But then a voice
in my soul points out that improvement is only done through change
and often there must be loss before there is room for change. But
really universe? this much loss?

But one day at a
time, one moment at a time, each breath is another gift from the
universe, each step is progress.

Thanks for reading
and supporting and always being there with lots of hugs and
acceptance.

November 29, 2010
12:00 am
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(((Chelonia))), When you were trying to tune into your recently
departed pets energy the background noise interfered making this
impossible. Maybe you could make a candle? A small milk carton,
block of wax, double boiler to melt wax, a wick tied to a pencil
that lays across so it wont fall in. Some glitter and glue to
decorate. The most stressful situation anyone could possibly be
dealing with in this economy would be a questionable job
situation.

November 29, 2010
12:00 am
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{{{Chelonia}}}} Unfortunately this is all I have to offer at
this time. I always have hugs for you though.

Bitsy

November 29, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Puptent, thanks for the hugs and support. I like the idea of
making a candle.

Bitsy, fortunately
you are always there for me and many others. NEVER undervalue the
power of your hugs. They are truely priceless and
precious.

November 29, 2010
12:00 am
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(((chelonia))) I am glad you like the candle idea. I think I
will take some of my craft ideas to the coffee house. When do you
go to get the results of your review? I know you will probably be
all stressed out. Try to play a motivation CD and drive safely
(they have free book CD's at the library).

November 29, 2010
12:00 am
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Namaste. 🙂

I love you. You
have a good heart. I have full faith in you that this pain will
allow you to do marvelous things in the future. Not to say that it
is nothing, quite the opposite. I believe with such loss for you
these past several months, somethin Big is cooking for you, It
makes me want to be really close to you. you must be so extra
special to be trusted to deal with all this...

HUGS!
Paws.

November 30, 2010
12:00 am
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onlyboringontheoutside
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Thinking of you, Chel.

December 1, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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Thanks for your continued hugs and support,

I get my review on
Friday. My cousin, who is a lawyer, recommended that I just take
whatever they give me unless they are taking steps to fire me. Only
in that case does she recommend pleading my case. Her view was that
if they wanted to hear my side, they would have during the actual
investigation. Since they walked out in the middle of my interview,
it doesn't sound like they care to have my input. I know they don't
because in order to find the truth it would involved exposing the
mean lady pack and there are some people there that have a lot of
political pull right now. So hopefully I'll have my job and this
can be just another lie to add to the list in my life.

But hopefully this
will close out the mean lady pack chapter of my life. They all are
now more distant from me and hopefully will find someone else to
focus their ugliness on. One has transferred to a station in
another state; one has taken a federal job another a state job, but
both are still in the area; another is still at our regional
office, but I refer her to my suborinates for her work projects and
not work with her directly; the last one still manages another
station, but since I no longer work at the regional level, my
manager deals with her mostly. So yes they can still gossip and
turn people against me, but the people I directly work with are
tired of those old stories.

Recently I asked
the researchers who work under me to provide an evaluation of my
management. They all had really good ideas and some changes will
come from their input based on what we worked out together. Two of
them noted that the reason I have so much trouble is because the
old gossip is still being said and they are tired of it and don't
understand why people continue with it. One of them suggested that
its just cause some want to talk about me having sex in a way that
won't get them in trouble. So being concerned that I'm having sex
with my boss is a hot topic, not because its true but because they
get off to it.

I'm glad I chose
to open up to that because they thought better of me than I assumed
and I will have their comments in my mind when I have to endure the
lashing from the HQ folks.

But I will get
through this. And you are right change isn't bad it just means that
something different is coming.

December 1, 2010
12:00 am
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(((Chelonia)))))

Bitsy

December 1, 2010
12:00 am
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(((Chelonia))) I would like to compliment you on your ability
to maintain your composure during this stressful time. I think your
cousin gave you a great recommendation to follow. I trust that the
universe is not going to give you a situation that you can't
handle.

December 6, 2010
12:00 am
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chelonia mydas
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I
finally found a candle for Opus at a health food store when I went
to the city for my horrible review.

It smells
spicy/woodsy and fits him perfectly. I lit it Saturday night and
its only 2/3 of the way down. When I came home from the lawyer
tonight the house was filled with a fragrance that reminded me of
how his sweet cooing would fill the yard. Very subtle, very soft
and comforting. It was a wonderful thing to come home to and really
warmed my heart.

I miss him so and
hope he is finally at peace flying in the skies around the rainbow
bridge.

Just thought I
would share because it was such a positive thing.

December 6, 2010
12:00 am
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((((((((((((((((Chelonia))))))))))))))))

So sorry for your
loss, and that I missed your posts (being absorbed in my own
stuff). It must be so hard to deal with the pain of that and all
the stress at work on top of it.

Also, it is
difficult to be around people who don't get just how important
animals are to us, and how painful it is to lose one. Some people
can be so insensitive during the worst of times. But for all those
that are clueless, there are some very special people that
understand the depth of your feelings and they can be such a
comfort. I hope you are able to find more company like yourself,
caring and compassionate.

Sending you hugs
and warm thoughts.

love,
ella

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