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cheated on
May 9, 2000
11:01 pm
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me1
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about 5 years ago I met my daughters dad which is 3 years old now. I fell deeply in love with him. I thought he did to because he use to tell me I love you all the time.And I use to feel so good with him and felt that he loved me. We had a relationship for about 1 1/2 then i got pregnant. When I got pregnant I felt that I got closer to him and wanted to get married to him. He already had a daughter from a previous relationship and didnt want to have another daughter. At first I didnt either but when I got pregnant I didnt want to get an abortion. So things started going bad. He didnt want to get married. He use to come to my house and leave at about 3:00am. I use to feel bad because i was pregnant and I wanted him to stay with me. He use to tell me that he didnt want to get married now.He didnt want to move in together either but then again he use to say he loved me.To make a long story short i ended up leaving him because he started going out and not saying the truth.One year after we got back together but he was already with another girl I found out like 3 months after we got back together we confronted him and I never saw him again. I moved out I didnt want to see him anymore. About 1 month ago I called his mom because my daughter had started asking for him and I told her if he wanted to see her to call me. He did and he's been seeing her. He thinks i have a boyfriend because i told him. And hes seeing someone. On sunday we had a very long conversation and i asked him if he had ever really loved me. He said "What is love" "what is real love" and i didnt get it until the end. I told him since you dont know what love is that means youve never been in love right. He didnt want to answer me. In the conversation I just remember him saying that he doesnt believe in one true love in a lifetime because you could love someone diffrently. He said that he use to like me alot but never answered to me as far as him loving me in the past. I had told him that i use to love him alot. He said that he did believe me he knows i use to love him. He said in a relationship would you rather love or be loved? I said both and i guess he tried to say that in the relationship we had he really cared for me but never really love me. I felt so bad. On my way home i couldnt hold back my tears i just started crying really bad. When i got home i started crying thinking what a fool i was to think that he loved me the way i thought he did.Lately i've been so down.Even though it's been over a year that me and him stopped seeing each other.i was fine all this time but when he told me that made me feel really bad.

May 9, 2000
11:14 pm
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Spirit
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Its never easy to hear someone we believe in to say that they really didn't mean it when they said "I love you." That's the trouble with the word love, its bantered around without really being meant. People use those three little words to get what they want from others they have pegged to be extremely needy of being loved.

When we put our faith in the words of others, we leave ourselves open for dissappointment. That, my dear, is life. How we choose to deal with that dissappointment is up to us. Some will start to look at themselves in a dark light, not liking themselves and causing great harm to their bodies in the way of eating dissorders or abusing substances. Some will abuse others in order to take out their frustrations. Today you must begin loving yourself. Love your daughter. Love life. Love the Higher Spirit. One day at a time.

As long as you want us, we are here for you. Keep the dialog going. There truly is peace through understanding.

May 10, 2000
12:09 pm
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Brenda
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Dear Me1

What a sad story you just told us.
Put faith in YOUR FEELINGS, if you are not feeling loved by someone, then you are not being loved.
Usually when we love someone who is uncapable of love, it is because we, as children, were in a similar situation with our parents. Do you recall trying to get love, but not feeling love. Do not repeat this pattern, learn from this past painful relationship, so that the lesson does not present itself again.
Remember, love yourself first, all else will follow. A good place to start is in prayer and meditation.
god bless

May 10, 2000
3:41 pm
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me1
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Thank you very much Spirit and Brenda your words were very touching to me. To Brenda..... yes when I was a child I can't remember my mother say to me I love you. As the years went by I remember asking my mom constantly why she didn't ever tell me I love you or if she did. I remember she use to say all the time you know I do. That's all she use to say. I never had a father. My mother said he only saw me once and she moved. I tried to get a hold of him a few years ago but couldn't. My mother does not have enough information for me to try to find him.I love my daughter very dearly and that is the reason that I let her see her father now. I don't want to make the same mistake my mother did.I don't know if I'll feel bad everytime I see him. Like you said love yourself.I don't know how to start. I feel so confused lately.I guess like spirit said I'm so needy of love maybe because I've really never felt it.....

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