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August 21, 2003
12:31 am
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Anonymous
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Something is very different. I know it and I can feel it.

I seem to be completely dead inside concerning Elvira. She has become a little more affectionate but it just doesn't matter. I just don't want to be with this woman anymore. I seem to be focusing a lot more on what I want.

She is having a big fight with her fiancee. I hear a lot of talk about how it is over. She says she just doesn't want to be a part of his life. I have heard this a hundred times. When this happened before, I would be encouraged, only to feel hurt again when they got back together. Even though this fight seems to be more serious than usual, I don't care what happens. Part of me hopes they stay together. Elvira deserves the misery. And, I certainly don't want her coming after me on the rebound. I think I feel pretty strong right now but I know I won't be safe until I am totally away from her.

In my last thread, I talked about this job I found on the net. The bad news is that I haven't heard anything from the company. The good news is that the job seems to have inspired my imagination. It gave me an idea about how I could start my own business. I seem to have found a huge specialized market within my current field of over 3,000 potential clients that no one else has even considered. All I would need to attract is 10 to 12 of these clients to make an excellent living. I could start slow and the upside potential blows my mind. I have a lot of research to do and a lot of details to work out. There are many obstacles to overcome to get this off the ground and I need to be very careful how I go about it. But, it is something that I am REALLY excited about and I can't ignore it.

I admit that I would be scared not to be an employee with a set salary but I have always wanted my own business. I have been in this field for about 25 years and I don't think that anyone has ever tried this. I am amazed because it is being done very successfully outside my field. I see no reason why it wouldn't work here too.

August 21, 2003
1:42 am
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Ahh HAAAA!!!! NOW do you hear the little "clicking" of gears......wheels turning, things coming into view, change starting to twirl around you???

THIS is what I was talking about. Until you get to that point in your being where you're just "done", nothing else is going to happen. Things won't come to you, you won't see or think of squat and all the energy and potential and talent that you naturally have will be useless, disemboweled and laying lifeless on the floor.

BUT......I think now you're getting a taste of the "switch in power" as if something revolutionary is capable of happening here in your life. A shifting of power in the axis. You had this at your disposal all along.....but for some lame reason you had to play this out to this point. I don't know, you probably don't know why but maybe it was just coming to your own end in the rope.

I think you stopped short of that actually, which is a good thing. You started putting on the brakes a while back and to be honest, I think that may very well have saved your butt.

Your a smart guy. You've gotten this far on something, ya know? And to use all that for yourself and to propel yourself forward with all your energies on your side of things and not being given out to psycho bitch all the time - then you've got quite a steam engine in your corner.

Just keep a cool head, do things right, tune her out, yea, yea, whatever Elvira, pop a pill, go be evil to someone else, do your job and talk to the wall, okay?

The thing is, first things first. Get yourself, your livelihood going, one step at a time here and then you can enable yourself to get out of your situation, then you can approach what's up with you and your wife.

But you have to put together a game plan, prioritize and use your energy and strengths well, not doing everything at once. Lay it all out, strategize like I know you can.

So you don't have someone to do this with per say like I had hoped before. It's not like YOU can't do it. I didn't have that either, but I did have "me" and I did it all by myself a few times.

But you cannot do it with your energies all scattered and being drained by her or anything else not good for you. You have to tap that right off at the spicket. And you cannot do it with just part of you. You have to be totally committed to this path or it will fail.

No one ever knows when the "shift" of power will happen, when that moment in time is when you "breathe", but when it does happen, everything starts turning at once, gears in you start in motion you didn't even know where there and it's largely because you took the power chord that was being fed and sucked by her and you plug it into you life and go - You don't get no more of this you vampire. NO MORE. It's mine, all mine.

And the rewards you instantly get from that - every day - teaches you real quick from the high and the energy that you feel from it - that you will never, ever look back or be tempted to pick up this poison again.

I'm glad for you. Very glad. Keep us informed because I just love, love, love this part of things, so don't deprive me!!! I live for this!!

August 21, 2003
8:36 am
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Thanks Ladeska, I need all the encouragement I can get right now.

I know I am still vulnerable to Elvira and probably will be until I can physically put her out of my life. She called this morning and I listened to her recount her latest fight with the fiancee. Whatever. You know, she was never this worried about our relationship and I admit that hurts a little bit. I wish her and him a lot of luck and I am so glad it isn't me.

Business ideas are always a thrill for me even when things don't work in the end. This is one of the biggest and most interesting ideas I have ever had.

I ran the idea by a trusted friend and colleague in our field. He is pretty good at throwing cold water on my dumb ideas. I don't think he was as excited about it as I was but he didn't have a drop of cold water and said that it sounded like it had potential.

I have another fellow who has been a kind of mentor throughout my career. He loves new ideas and is very good at developing strategies. There are so many different starting points and frameworks for this idea. The first thing I need is to decide on a starting point and choose which general framework to use. I think I can trust this guy to keep my idea confidential and I plan on calling him today. I will be very interested in his reaction and the ideas he has off the top of his head. If the idea sparks his imagination, I will be even more interested in the ideas he will have for me over the next couple of weeks.

I want to fly into the idea and do everything at once. I am so eager to put this into motion. But, I am going to take this one step at a time. This is just way too important. I need to do my homework and do this right.

August 21, 2003
2:03 pm
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I'd be REAL careful who I told what to! I mean really, really ask yourself can you for sure - trust who you are going to talk to. I've seen it happen time and time again when people's ideas get stolen. And if it's as good as you say - you might just want to trust your own judgement here and not find out later how your friend - wasn't a friend after all. Real serious about this one, Jwt. People do some weird crap character wise when it comes to money, esp. in this economy and sometimes, they just drop the word on someone else and they do it - giving them a cut of the proceeds of course and still continue to be your innocent friend while the screw you and steal your idea.

So be WISE here. Trust your own gut. And basically you talk to no one that you don't get them to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement with. Say hey, it's not that I don't trust you, you might talk in your sleep or something but just for my own peace of mind here, I can't even talk to you about this unless you sign this.

August 21, 2003
3:10 pm
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I had an idea stolen from me a few years ago. Saw her on Oprah, too. Being interviewed about "her new business". A real shocker. It was a good idea though. I guess I'm glad she did it. But it was the fact she stole the idea that bugged me. It came from little brain. But, I didn't do it and besides the dishonesty thing, I'm glad she is doing it because it's a great idea.

August 22, 2003
3:07 pm
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Hey jwt,

good to hear that you feel the wind of change! I think that building your own business is an excellent idea - make sure to take your time for planning. And make sure that you still leave some time for your personal project, lets call it "find a life for jwt" - apart from business, I mean.

But this definitely sounds very promising.

Take care

eve

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