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Challenges
November 19, 2004
7:30 am
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Tumbleweed8
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This thread is to replace the Tumbleweed thread since I keep reading that nicknames are not welcome on here. I have tried to do this before, but it didn't work out so I'm trying again. If this one doesn't work out either then I just won't have a thread anymore. I usually post about things which are challenges to me for making positive changes in my life so that is why I chose this thread name.

November 19, 2004
7:40 am
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mamacinnamon
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Sounds like a good thread. Sorry I haven't read the others.

November 19, 2004
8:43 am
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CAMER
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hey Tumble, keep posting, and know that you will get some good feedback, we'll keep this thread going!

November 19, 2004
9:09 am
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tooscared
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This is a great idea Tumbleweed. We all face challenges every day so this is a nice way to share with each other and stay in touch. I hope all of you have a great Friday. I am finally starting to settle down on the inside after stressing out last weekend with our trip to Dallas and then having a stressful week as well - which was probably because I couldn't balance out from everything going on.

Take care everyone.
Love, TS

November 19, 2004
11:00 am
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Tumbleweed8
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I asked and found out the other thread doesn't have to go after all. I decided to quit using the word struggle and replace it with challenge hoping that would make things easier. Somehow, if you're accepting a challenge, it seems more empowering than saying I'm struggling with this or that, don't you think?

November 19, 2004
11:02 am
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site coordinator
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hey everybody,

Just to bring more clarification.

Using 1 nickname in a thread title is a GREAT way to keep your own thread focused for your story. It makes the thread easy for you and everyone else to find and follow.

It's strings of nicknames that I'm asking people to refrain from. But 1 nickname in the thread title, along with your 'problem/issue' I think is a good model for thread naming. I just wanted to bring more clarity to that... good luck on your new thread tumbles 🙂

November 19, 2004
11:04 am
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Tumbleweed8
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Thankyou, SC.

November 19, 2004
1:28 pm
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sewunique
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Hi tumbleweed,

Your interesting thread title caught my eye!

May I join in here?

Been looking for a place to share ideas and daily going ons of how we are all coping and just what's going on everyday. I need to "connect'' that way, and seems that is status quo for many others here.

I don't think we have met by writing on each other's threads, so "hello". I have only been heere since last month, so am quite new.

Successes and challenges, interesting stuff.

Sew

November 19, 2004
1:33 pm
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mj
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I like the word Challenges!
Sounds solveable doesn't it!

Change is good too!

November 19, 2004
3:41 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Hi All, Thankyou to all who have posted here so far. Yes, I think we can all share whatever things are challenging us and what we're doing about them. I'm glad you like the thread title and I hope the thread will help all of us. I have been posting for several months and still have not taken the time to read all of the threads on here. So, hopefully no one feels overlooked. Also, we sometimes do not know what to respond and maybe it is just easier to read sometimes. I feel that I have learned a lot by coming to this site and I feel that I am growing because of it. One challenge I have to remind myself of though is that this is a journey and I need to be thankful for the little improvements along the way.

November 20, 2004
10:00 am
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Tumbleweed8
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Good Morning All, For those who haven't read about my challenges, I still have the challenge of losing weight for my health. Also, the challenge of trying to let go and let a Higher Power handle what I can't regarding my family for one thing. And in other areas, too. The Serenity Prayer always helps when I remember to stop for a minute and say it. How about you? Does that also help you? I know some others here have mentioned it.

November 20, 2004
10:02 am
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Zinnie
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What a great name idea Tumbles!

I have always felt that "your" thread is where I post what I'm being "challenged" with to get better, or to improve or change.

I love it!

So... how are you feeling today?

Z.

November 20, 2004
10:54 am
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sewunique
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Good mornin over here. Zinnie and Ready are making breakfast at the Coffeehouse. So my challenge to lose some weight; will be later this afternoon. Signed up for a Yoga class, but haven't gone yet. Also, I hear you about the Higher Power. Attended my first CODA meeting Thursday. Got Tia Mellody's book; 'Facing codependency". That I am working on. Sorry, seems like I can never write briefly, huh?

Sew

November 20, 2004
11:00 am
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sewunique
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Yes, life is a journey, but does one, CAN one get over the hurdles of being codependent? Tia Mellody describes it as a 'disease', tho' used as an example, because you have to continually take care of your symptoms, like if being a diabetic. That is my BIG question. Tumbleweed, Zinnie and many others here, really sound like you guys got it under control and so strong. Is there hope for us in this journey? It is so hard being CODA. Happiness, peace, stregnth....self assurrance.....

November 20, 2004
12:28 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Glad you like the thread idea, Z. So far everyone seems to like the idea. Congrats on attending your first Coda meeting, sewunique. I plan to check out the book you mentioned. I still need to read all I can for help as I really don't have it all together. I still stuff a lot of feelings and I'm still passive-aggresive much as I do not want to be. I am at that stage where you realize you must speak up for yourself, but you still do not know how to do it the right way or the assertive way, I probably should say. I think the only way we can get over these hurdles is one day at a time, just asking ourselves everyday what can we do right now to make our lives better, whatever thing we can do in the moment and just keep doing that everyday. And there are setbacks. Even with me not feeling well for the past couple days, I have not felt like exercising and I have ate things with salt which is also a no no so we have to accept that we will not do everything perfectly and this is not easy for many of us. I am learning though that it is better to at least do what we can rather than give up because it is not exactly how we want it to be. I am feeling better today so will do what I can just for today. I know we probably all need to strive for balance in all things. I once had a chart for allowing so much time each day for about 9 different areas in our lives. I think a person would have to be quite structured to do it, but it was something like so much time for work, fun, relaxation-could be reading,tv or whatever, family, exercise and by the way I think yoga is great, loved my classes, relationships, school or learning something new and there are a couple more. If anyone knows what they are, please fill them in, okay.

November 20, 2004
12:36 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Recreation is one, probably different from fun as fun can simply be laughing, finding humor in things. Ironically, I'm having trouble remembering the very ones I seldom do. Ha! Ha! It does help sometimes if we can lighten up a little and laugh at ourselves, another challenge for me.

November 20, 2004
12:51 pm
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Zinnie
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A chart regulating your time? That sounds interesting, but almost bordering on obsessive. However, I guess if you have a hard time completing your tasks that would be a good idea.

My youngest son was diagnosed as ADD when he was little. We didn't do any drug therapy, instead used stop watches and kitchen timers. Within about a year or so it seemed like he was so much better. We also made it a game so I think that helped.

Well... my challenge today is how to keep three dogs entertained without them tearing up the house? Yes, I have the neighbors dog again. She is a single young lady and is having to work 12-14 hour shifts now through Christmas. She is newly divorced and just getting on her feet. She got this little dog for company - which she is a friendly little pup. But, it's hard to leave them alone for that long. So we have worked out a deal that in the afternoon, my husband get's home about 3:00 so he will walk our two and pick her up along the way, then we keep her until her "Mama" get's home at about 10:00. On Saturday we keep her all day. LOUD likes having someone to play with, but it tends to make him EVEN LOUDER!

Oh well...

Love to all,

Zin

November 20, 2004
12:59 pm
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workinonit
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Hello everyone! Tumbles, thanks for the new thread. Feels like home already.

Challenges...hmmmm....how about dealing with seven 11 year olds at build-a-bear and home for a sleep over tonight? Lots of fun but exhausting.

I'll touch base often as I can to see what's up!

November 20, 2004
1:14 pm
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gingerleigh
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Good morning gang... just popping in to say hi.

November 20, 2004
2:50 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Hi All, I was thinking maybe the other one I couldn't think of was something to do with finances, budgeting or something like that. I can't remember now where I got the info from, but it was supposed to help you balance things out better. And again, it would really take time probably to accomplish this where it would seem like second nature to do. Z, sounds like you have a good idea for people living with someone who has ADD. Hopefully someone will be reading because those ideas sound great. I have been around 3 children with that and one almost destroyed the flowers at a funeral, one almost took the sewing machine apart and the other one ran non stop. Looks like if people made a game of it like you said these kids could be welcome places. Workinonit, Will you tell us more about that project you have going for all the kids? I haven't been around that age group lately except when I see my one grandson who is 11. His interest is to be a pilot one day and he has taken some lessons already. Z, I think you will need some ear plugs with those 3 running around. How are you doing, Gingerleigh? Sorry, I still haven't read through all the threads, but its good to see you and you know any suggestions are welcome here. I have liked a lot of your suggestions I've read and I guess maybe that could be a challenge, too, to let people know when you have been helped with their suggestions or that you have been able to relate to them. I know I don't do that often enough and I think everyone wants to feel appreciated, right? I think we all have something to offer. I always think of that saying that every man is your teacher. What is it something like no man is your friend, no man is your enemy, but every man is your teacher. I like the last part best.

November 20, 2004
2:57 pm
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Zinnie
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Hey there...

Personally I believe way too many parents let their children run harey carey and say "well you know he/she has ADD that is why they act like that."

Simply not true. Children are taught to behave, and yes, some might need medication. Our son was not that bad, his mind just wandered, literally. He would be doing somethng and another though would pop into his mind and he would just jump to the other thing. So, we made everything a timed game - to which the Dr. told us was "crude, and we would be back for the meds." Guess what? We weren't and he has done just fine, including becoming a student with a 3.95 GPA.

However, under no circumstances would my child be allowed to ruin funeral flowers, take apart sewing machines, or ruin anyone elses home.

Yes, I DO need ear plugs between the neighbor puppy and LOUD, Miss Pee Wee and I are thinking of running away from home!

Z.

November 20, 2004
3:36 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Yes, Z, I can see where that could be an easy excuse. Amazingly the one trying to knock over the flowers at the funeral was my cousin's son and she was a registered nurse. She, her husband and her brother were all the nicest people you could ever want to meet, maybe too nice.

November 20, 2004
6:34 pm
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on my way
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Hi Sew, yes you will get through the journey, and it is called a journey because there is not one destination, but many. You will learn to use tools to cope, and move through life situations and learn how to check up on your progress...at least this is what I have been taught. Keep posting about your challengesm cuz we all have them!! Smiles to you!

November 20, 2004
6:44 pm
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memphis
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Hi All
I have been gone for awhile...I moved from Memphis back home to Wisconsin.....talk about challenges....I got fired from the job I took to come here. My brain just was not working right after the move etc etc....anyways I have a new job......I am 52 years old and that was the first time I was fired. It didnt do anything for my self esteem. I have a great job now.....just started it and I keep backsliding....(thinking I may get fired again) trying to keep a positive attitude. Am living with my son and need this job so I can move out and be independent again. In the meantime.....when things get tough, I miss my co dependent like crazy. like right now I would love to call him....
loosing weight is my challenge too...I really let myself go when I realized it wasnt working with my co...dumb dumb dumb.......we gotta keep going......

November 20, 2004
7:32 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Hi All, On my way, I like what you said about the journey and that it has many destinations. I had not thought about it that way before. Memphis, I'm glad you have a new job now and I think you're right that we just keep going on.

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