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Can't take it anymore..... Help Plz Anyone!
February 25, 2007
10:10 am
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frndforevr
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Hi...

This was the first reason for me joining this site, but cud never really gather the courage to put down what my misery is.Doing it now.. coz its growing worse.
Since my childhood, I have seen myself in love with God. I never thought of anything or anyone beyond Him. But now that I am of age, and all my friends are getting married, my parents (who dont know how i feel about Almighty) are more than anxious to see me settled with a guy. Though i try my best to be in a romantic relation, I give up when it comes to physical closeness (though I can swear, I did like the last guy I left). I JUST DONT FEEL THAT WAYS FOR ANY ONE! I am so into God. Hope I am making sense!
Even I feel the need of a companion, a friend who would see me through all my good and bad times, but the guys obviously run away at the hint of a "PLATONIC MARRIAGE", though they claim they like me otherwise and find me really pretty and sweet.

Please tell me what to do. I dont wanna die alone and I have this haunting fear of getting sexually abused if I choose to stay alone coz I think people will take advantage of this single gal.. who has no one by her side.
Do you think I can get someone who would love me for what i am rather than how I look or the sexual aspect of marriage.

Please please please dont tell me that I should give up on my notion of loving God.. that is something i havce grown up with and it means so much to me.

You all would definitely have more sense that I do.. so if you feel there is no way I can lead a normal life .. i had rather end all this misery (death doesnt scare me.. infact I love the thought of inflicting physical pain on myself.. it distracts me from my mental trauma)

Thankyou for reading.. hope you would reply

February 25, 2007
10:13 am
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Tiger Trainer
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You say you love God.
What is God to you? A loving father?
An omnipresent force in the universe?
Maybe if you defined better what God is to you and what you want out of a relationship with him and with a relationship with another person you could understand your feelings better.

February 25, 2007
10:23 am
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frndforevr
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In our community God is loved as various figures.. as HE takes birth over and over again.. and plays various roles as a husband.. father.. brother and so on. I used to hear those stories from my dad and fell in love with Him.. as how I would see my husband.
U must be thinking I m weird and a pervert.. but honestly I dont wanna touch him or anything.. just wanna be with him and just make him smile... in whatever form He is.

February 25, 2007
12:21 pm
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gracenotes
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frndforever,

There is such a thing as religious addiction. Its not that faith in God is wrong or anything, but there really are people who use God in a way that is addictive.

From Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody:

"Religious addicts use religion or God like a drug to empower themselves, control their environment, and relieve unbearable reality (feelings, thoughts, physical attributes, or pains). Because religion or God does relieve the pain, like any addictive process, these people overuse it. Because the addiction to religion gains power over them and takes time and attention away from other priorities, including any children they may have, religious addicts almost always abuse their children because their focus is on the addiction and not on the children who need time, attention, direction,and love from the parents."

Does any of this make any sense to you? Has there been abuse in your life?

February 25, 2007
1:03 pm
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revelation
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I think that you probably should go to see a professional therapist. You will find good supportive people here to help you on this journey of self-discivery...but you have mentioned self-harm and suicide and I really think that you should go and get therapy as well has finding support here.

Rev.

February 25, 2007
1:19 pm
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StronginHim77
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As an ordained chaplain, I love God with all my heart. However, that is NOT an impediment to having a normal, sexually-close relationship with my husband. If loving God presents such a conflict to you, I would suggest that there are deeper issues which might benefit from you entering into counseling or professional therapy to examine them. Also, please know that there are actual licensed CHRISTIAN therapists out there. I found one two years ago, to help me sort thru alot of things, but from a "Godly" or Biblical perspective. My work with that therapist helped me to understand that alot of my "passion" or over-involvement in religious activities had a deeper root or motivation than I perceived on a conscious level. I thought I was 110% sold out on God; in reality, God (and pursuing the works associated with serving God) was a cover-up addiction for me, to ease a deeper pain in my heart. I was finally able (in therapy) to face that pain and deal with it. As a result, I now enjoy a stronger, healthier relationship with God AND with others (including my husband).

- Ma Strong

February 26, 2007
10:13 am
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frndforevr
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Hi everyone...

Thanks for your replies.. I was in such low spirits that I was not able to step out to check any of these before....

Grace.. in reply to your question.. though there has been no abuse per say in my life.. I feel there would be one soon.. if God doesnt come n marry me (which i dream n hope of).. coz then other men will pray on me...

Rev to you n Ma Strong

A big thanks for understanding and guiding me to therapy.. though I m not sure I would do that.. coz i fear ppl once know that, will realize how vulnerable n romantically foolish I am n then exploit this to their advantage

February 26, 2007
11:19 am
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gracenotes
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frndforever,

I think it might be a good idea to go see a therapist at least once, just to share what you are feeling. It can't hurt and you might learn something from this. A regular therapist, a Christian therapist, someone you think you can talk to and would listen to your concerns.

You seem to be in a lot of pain and therapy can really help with all of this. There is low cost therapy available if you look around. Its not good to keep this all to yourself.

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