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Can't seem to shake it...
August 31, 2006
2:14 pm
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2muchtragedy
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Today is the third day in the row I have sat at my desk at work and cried unconrollably for about 3 hours or more. I know I am not having just a bad day.

Two months ago yesterday, we buried my mother. I miss her so much. It just seems like everything else is impossible to deal with anymore and I am lost.

I know the things I think are wrong and defeatist but I can't seem to shake it and I can't stop crying now.

I don't know how to feel better and to stop seeing each and every thing in my life as negative right now.

August 31, 2006
2:18 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Depression after a death can be so difficult sweetheart. I am so sorry that you lost your mother. have you thought about going to a counsler? Even if its just for a short period of time It could really help

August 31, 2006
2:22 pm
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2muchtragedy
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I think about it but I live in a small town and worry about it getting around.

I know that must seem silly.

August 31, 2006
2:33 pm
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loverbee
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2much-who cares if it gets around. Going to a grief counseler because you lost your mother isn't anything to be ashamed of first of all and second, there is the important element of confidentiality among therapist and client so if it does get around and you didn't spread it, you could take that issue up with the therapist. I lived in a very small town growing up and was thinking the same thing so I found a therapist in the next town over. That may be an option for you.

August 31, 2006
2:46 pm
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2muchtragedy
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I apprciate the input about a therapist but I am just trying to feel better today.

I want to go home tonight and not have that flash of thought about how the garage looks more like a way out instead of a place to store a car.

August 31, 2006
2:50 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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well, if a therapist isn't in the cards, how about a bereavement group? most local hospitals have free group meetings to help you deal with loss of a loved one.

what you are feeling is NORMAL, and many people go thru it.

instead of going home and noticing how good the garage looks, how about going out and being among people, so you stay distracted?

your wounds are still raw, this grief is normal....if not groups, the last thing I would advise is some self help books on grieving during times of loss....hang at the library and read thru them....it may help you get thru this.

sometimes all you can do is minute to minute.

sorry to hear about your mom....I dread the day my mom passes.

August 31, 2006
3:07 pm
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mamacinnamon
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2much:

I am sorry about your mom. I totally relate to how you feel bein from a small town myself.

First, if you are gonna look at the garage as a way out then DON'T go in there. Don't even park the car in the garage. Give yourself the room the think if you were to decide to do the unmentionable. Leave the car outside so things are not convenient.

I know in my small town there are no counselors, hospitals, etc. Not for 30 miles. But I Will ask you if there is a woman's group at church you could join in on. I will also tell you that w/ the internet at your fingertips you have a world of help available. You just must be careful where you go; same as in real life as they say. There are online bereavement meetings, support from us here, etc. ec. I just don't know how I feel bout online counseling. Don't think I trust it but that is just me personally.

The way to beat this is to fight it. You must force yourself to get up and force yourself to be productive. Find positive in things instead of negatives.

Things won't change overnight, but w/ time they will. Don't forget tho that you must have time to grieve your mom not bein there for you anymore.

August 31, 2006
5:01 pm
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StronginHim77
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2much -

It is terribly painful to lose a parent we are close to.

Let me speak as a mom for a minute. If something were to happen to me, my great comfort would be knowing that my sons would go on...that they would live full lives, grateful for the time we had together, but not overwhelmed by my passing to the degree where grief would shut them down or tempt them to end their own lives. So, speaking for YOUR precious Mom who is looking down from heaven, you pick yourself up...reach out to those around you for comfort and live the happiest life you can...FOR MY SAKE. OK?

I know that is what your Mom would be saying to you because she loves you and love doesn't end, just because someone goes Home. She still loves you and the parting IS temporary.

- Ma Strong

August 31, 2006
5:15 pm
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CAMER
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please check out some bereavement groups online...i know they have them. I lost my beloved fiance to suicide almost 4 years ago, and the support online was so helpful. Real people, who lost loved ones who are trying to deal with the loss.
(((hugs your way)))

August 31, 2006
7:13 pm
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I lost my sister to a drunk driver a while back, and to be honest i dont remember how i got through it, but i did get through it, I still miss her like crazy and dream of her often but the memories are something i smile at now, not cry about.
I slept a lot so i could dream about her (which is a sign of depression), I cried all the time, I called my family and friends, in fact i called my brother in the middle of the night all the time, It is OK to cry, My mom has a very understanding company that she works for and when she would cry they let her because they knew she would be back to herself sooner or later and they knew that she lost someone she loved, I hope your boss knows what is going on and is supportave because if he isnt it will be a little harder to work through this because holding in the tears makes it worse.

I wrote letters to her all the time, and on her birthday we would take our kids to the park, write letters and send them up to the sky in a balloon and eat birthday cake, sometimes we will cry, sometimes we will laugh, but know this, it is OK to cry.
Your mom was a huge part of your life. hang in there, we are all here for you.
take it one minute at a time, if that is too hard take it one step at a time, i wish there was something more i could do to help you.

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