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can't leave without hurt everyone
June 25, 2009
9:53 am
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honey1111
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I feel trapped. I don't feel like I can make it on my own. My husband is going through a fairly classic mid-life crisis. But it really hurts that he looks at teenage girls the way he does. I realize he is upset that he is past this stage of his life.

Any way I have really wanted to leave for at least a year but I would have pull my children from their schools to make end meet.

I am trying to bide my time, and work on the situation. But really feel like it is over I no longer trust him.

If anyone else has gone through this please let me know if staying is really stupid.
My daughter is in 10th grade I really would like to get her through school before I do anything.

Sometimes the situation is super tense.
I am always the bad guy to the kids and to my husband.

June 25, 2009
10:06 am
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Lanigirl
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Honey,

You've really hit a nerve with me. My Mom was always the "bad guy". At the time, I was too young to see things clearly but now I see she was responsible for everything. I had a lot of resentment toward my father for that.

Only you can decide if staying is stupid. CODA meeting or counseling may help things to be more clear.

I'm not in the exact situation = no kids but I've wanted to leave my marriage before. I can share that my friend had been married 20 + years to a man she never loved. She decided she had enough. She does have older children and when she told her kids they were relieved.

June 25, 2009
10:53 am
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atalose
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Can you talk more about not trusting your husband and why you feel that way?

I know you mentioned it hurts when he looks at young girls but is there more to that?

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

June 26, 2009
8:47 pm
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fantas
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Well, your husband is veering on a slippery road here. He is a father of a teenager so I think it's very inappropriate for him to leer at teenagers. Maybe he is too much into his crisis to realize this but you should make sure he knows how inappropriate that is. Does this mean he leers at your daughter's friends? I knew a man like that, and I can tell you it makes someone feel really yucky. Is it possible he is having an affair or considering one? If things are bad, you and the children can move to an apartment in the same school district and he can support you. Hang in and keep posting.

June 27, 2009
11:13 am
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honey1111
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Hi fanta

No he does not leer at my daughter. But she got friends some of which a very attractive. I have definitely let him know that it is wrong. His response was that I am crazy. I am insecure but I am not blind.
Anyway I am not sure if I try wait out the mid life crisis or leave.
Even if I leave it will take planning so the devasation will be less on the kids.
He told me that if he wanted leave he would have. He told me that he loves me. But it doesn't feel that way.
I don't want to be a bitter middle aged women.
thanks
Honey1111

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