Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
can't get help
October 29, 2000
1:11 pm
Avatar
mn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

English isn't my first language, but hope I can make myself understood.

My problem is that I can't get support from my family and friends.
I've been depressed for about 2 years, and started taking anti-depressant 6 months ago. I talked to my family and friends about my problem, but they don't seem to care. I feel very much isolated, and depression is getting worse, because this "isolation" is the cause for my depression.
For them, I'm a self-sufficient, dependable person who can manage everything alone, and whom they can ask for help when they have problems. That's not what I am, but I can't get rid of this "label" either. I told them I didn't want it anymore, and couldn't be what I wasn't...they never change their attitudes. I know this is partly my fault because I always tried hard to come up to their expectations, but can't understand why those people are so indifferent to my problem.
What's worse is that I now often go back to my childhood and reinforce bad memories I thought I'd sorted out.
I don't really know how to explain, but I feel I'm going around and arond, wasting time trying to change something that would never change. I sometimes think maybe they do care, but say things that hurt me without knowing it. Or maybe I'm taking myself too seriously.

October 30, 2000
1:01 am
Avatar
mn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

this is what happens always. no one listens.

October 30, 2000
3:32 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

mn
i'm in the same boat as you.
life is tough for me :(. nothing works in my life :(. its a self-esteem problem and it seems it will never be corrected. did u try counseling..?

October 30, 2000
4:20 am
Avatar
mn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks for answering me.
Yes, I have tried counselling, but it didn't work. Like you said, I have a self-esteem problem, and it's rooted in my childhood. I feel I can't get over it unless my family and relatives who emotionally abused me show what they did was wrong. But it's impossible when they don't even listen. I'm stuck.

October 30, 2000
6:28 am
Avatar
guest_guest
Guest
Guests

how long did u try counseling for? was it profesional counseling, or by interns? how old are you? i'm 24.
my mom abused me physically too, besides emotional.

October 30, 2000
10:19 am
Avatar
mn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm 27. I'm old enough to behave as if nothing had happened or I forgot everything, but think it just reinforces the pattern of my ngative thinking. Counselling was by a professional, but didn't work. I think language is the problem.

October 30, 2000
6:53 pm
Avatar
Molly
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Family dynamics is hard to break through, its up to you to be different.. Sorry, but family denial is hard. I am sure if you were to ask them, no one ever intentionally intended to hurt you, and how dare you demand an apology or an acknowledgement. They don't get it, they don't understand, and may never understand. Its part of the growth you are experiencing from breaking away, and the awareness that you have developed. If English is not your first language, is it possible that you have also become bi-cultural? Is it possible that you now have a value system different than your family of origin?
It is up to the individual to empower what ever they empower, be it pain, or growth. I was angry with my mother for years, for her abusive ways, but when I became educated, and had children of my own, I realized that she gave me all that she knew, and believe me it was limited. She did not intend to hurt me, she didn't realize that her anger, and emotional instability, and alcoholism caused me pain, and emotional lack. Till the day she died, I never got an apology, but some how I learned to forgive, so that I could go on, she never knew she was forgiven, but she was, and it made me able to live life with out blame. Now my daughters, 20&22 are quick recently to point out my short commings, and I guess that is part of life, each generation gets better until we get it right. Come to a place of peace for you, forgive, and move on. Celebrate that they gave you life, and try to focus on the good things, and let go of the bad, it does not serve you. Some times we waste life times trying to understand something, or wishing away time wanting people to be different to serve our need, that we never get satisfied. Often that becomes the life, vs living life. Good luck, and hopefully you can move on. Celebrate that you are who you are because of your experience, a better, and good person.

November 1, 2000
1:01 pm
Avatar
Messy
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I can understand having no support from your family but you do have to build a support system that can help nyou when you are down. Find a group or make a couple of close friends that could help you. You also need to work on you and your image and your self esteem. You need to do some soul searching and heal all of the wounds that were created in your child hood. Slowly you will begin to like and love yourself as you start over learning about yourself

November 2, 2000
11:59 am
Avatar
mn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks everyone, what you wrote here helps me to see things differently. I've been feeling stuck in a vicious circle for a long time...perhaps I'm not. Thanks.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
50 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 109365

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38532

Posts: 714177

Newest Members:

cthuekzDazy, rctyzDazy, Jamesfoush, hecnzDazy, Ostapmof, bhbyfDazy

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer