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Cant find my"inner child".
January 7, 2005
8:40 am
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lostforever
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I was reading over some stuff on your "inner child" last night and trying to do some of the lessons. I've realized I dont remember much about my childhood. Young or as a teenager, At least any good.No matter how hard I try to look back at myself as a child alls i remember is sad times or being very angery as a teen.
I dont remember anything specific, like having fun at vacations, and i know we took them. I remember having alot of friends but not ever enjoying life.
As a teen i did rebel and drink alot, expermented with drugs but nothing more than experment.
I notice even when i try to look back through my 12 years of marriage i dont remember any happy times. Even giving birth to my children i only remember how painful it was and as babies crying and feeling overwhelmbed. I know i was happy and full of joy when my boys were born,but i dont remmeber the feeling.
Does any of this make any sense? I know i had to of been happy sometime in my life right,why cant i remember? How do you find your inner child when you dont remember her?
I feel really weird about this, it really bothered me last night trying to answer some of the questions the worksheet asked.
I dont remember anything tramatic happening to me ,I just dont remember ever being happy, secure,full of joy. I just remember as a child being sad and as a teen being anger, nothing specific but negative feelings.
any suggestions on finding that happy inner child, or anyone else have this problem?

January 7, 2005
10:11 am
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lostforever
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January 7, 2005
10:52 am
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SUSIE BABY
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LOST FOREVER, NEVER LOST, ONLY MISS PLACED. DO YOU HAVE BROTHER'S AND OR SISTER'S? TALK TO THEM. IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR PARENT'S RELATIONSHIP? WERE THEY AFFECTIONATE? CARING, LOVING TO EACH OTHER? DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM? CAN YOU ASK THEM QUESTION'S? I AM #5 OF 8 CHILDREN, AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN REMEMBER BACK WHEN I WAS AS YOUNG AS 2. WHEN SPEAKING TO MY SISTER'S( 4 ONE ABOVE ME 3 BELOW )THE DRAMA IN OUR HOUSE WAS SO BAD, THEIR MIND'S CLOSED THAT PART OF THEIR LIVE'S.MY DAD WAS VERY ABUSIVE TO MY MOTHER AND HIS KID'S. MY MOTHER WAS TO AFRAID TO STAND UP WHEN HE BEAT HIS KID'S. ONE OF MY BROTHER'S GOT IT THE WORSE.PLEASE, KEEP DIGGING IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND,IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, IT WILL COME BACK,BUT,YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO TAKE IT ON, IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE VERY SMALL. WHEN YOU DO FIND YOUR INNER CHILD, EMBRACE HER THE WAY YOU WOULD YOUR OWN CHILD IF IT WERE HURT, TELL HER NO ONE WILL EVER HURT HER AGAIN. MY INNER LITTLE GIRL HAS FINALLY BEEN PUT TO REST BECAUSE SHE HAS "ME" TO LOOK OVER HER.

January 7, 2005
10:52 am
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SUSIE BABY
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LOST FOREVER, NEVER LOST, ONLY MISS PLACED. DO YOU HAVE BROTHER'S AND OR SISTER'S? TALK TO THEM. IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT YOUR PARENT'S RELATIONSHIP? WERE THEY AFFECTIONATE? CARING, LOVING TO EACH OTHER? DO YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM? CAN YOU ASK THEM QUESTION'S? I AM #5 OF 8 CHILDREN, AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN REMEMBER BACK WHEN I WAS AS YOUNG AS 2. WHEN SPEAKING TO MY SISTER'S( 4 ONE ABOVE ME 3 BELOW )THE DRAMA IN OUR HOUSE WAS SO BAD, THEIR MIND'S CLOSED THAT PART OF THEIR LIVE'S.MY DAD WAS VERY ABUSIVE TO MY MOTHER AND HIS KID'S. MY MOTHER WAS TO AFRAID TO STAND UP WHEN HE BEAT HIS KID'S. ONE OF MY BROTHER'S GOT IT THE WORSE.PLEASE, KEEP DIGGING IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND,IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH, IT WILL COME BACK,BUT,YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO TAKE IT ON, IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE VERY SMALL. WHEN YOU DO FIND YOUR INNER CHILD, EMBRACE HER THE WAY YOU WOULD YOUR OWN CHILD IF IT WERE HURT, TELL HER NO ONE WILL EVER HURT HER AGAIN. MY INNER LITTLE GIRL HAS FINALLY BEEN PUT TO REST BECAUSE SHE HAS "ME" TO LOOK OVER HER.

January 7, 2005
1:22 pm
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kathygy
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It sounds like you really need to feel the saddness. Let it be O.K. if you can't remember any happy moments. Something caused your saddness. How was your home life? See if you can imagine a happy inner child now. Your inner child can have a fresh start with happiness. Is there any happiness in your life now? What makes your inner child happy? Do those things.

January 7, 2005
1:23 pm
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kathygy
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Its also important to comfort that sad inner child.

January 7, 2005
8:18 pm
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ladyvirgo
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Perhaps, if you are wanting to discover what caused your frozen feelings / lost child you could write a Timeline.

Get a long piece of paper, or put a few together. Draw a line all the way along it and start to put in dates. Birth Then add the milestones that you know of - like sister born - moved to a new place - stayed at ?? -

You get a linear picture of your life. Then mark each one with what happened.... how you felt if you remember.

Gradually build it up.

Even if you don't remember, you may know facts. If you feel nothing when you review a certain date, perhaps you can imagine how you may have felt. What happened then, or before then that could have made you lock away the momory.

There is some reason for your forgetting.... Let it come at its own speed.

Or you could get a therapist to go through it with you.

January 7, 2005
8:26 pm
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lostforever
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thanks guys. it really is bothering me why i only remember feeling sad but no spcific reason why.

January 7, 2005
8:42 pm
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DTEE
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Lost ....I am reading a book right now called " Clear Your Past, Change Your Futuer" In it is exercises to find your inner child through relaxation techniques. I just started reading it and haven't had a chance to do the exercises my self but this may help you. I don't know allot about it but thought I would pass it on.

January 8, 2005
1:32 am
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sunny64
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I, too have a difficult time recalling details or feelings from my childhood. And what I do recall I report in total detachment. I can talk about abuse like it was someone else. This was an observation by a counsellor in a group setting. I deny and avoid.

Something we were taught in treatment was to write with your non dominant hand while trying to get in touch with your inner child. For many this seems to really help reach that little person. Warning though, when I did this I was in treatment and the experience was very overwhelming. I woke up in a panic attack-which is not something I have ever experienced before. I would strongly suggest that you have access to some support at the time you use this tool.

"Healing the Child Within" by Charles L Whitfield is an excellent book.

wishing you well

January 10, 2005
6:35 pm
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sunny64
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I came across this site and it has stuff on codependency and inner child work.... http://www.joy2meu.com

January 16, 2005
2:17 am
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sunny64
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this is the site re inner child work, for those interested.

January 23, 2005
11:35 pm
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sewunique
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Here is another thread with inner child help.

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