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Can't figure out why I'm still with him...
May 27, 2005
8:56 am
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LittleKel
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September 30, 2010
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My husband and I have been married for three years (it seems like 20). When we were dating, he was absolutely wonderful. People used to be envious of our relationship. It seems as soon as we said "I do", our relationship has gone to hell. What an amazing actor he was!

My husband is an alcoholic. I thought he was sober for 1 year when we got married. Needless to say, he wasn't. He has been drinking and doing drugs behind my back throughout our marriage. Supposedly sober for a year now (following a DUI and drug possession charge last year).

We have since had a child, she was conceived when I thought my husband was sober. I stayed home and raised her for almost 2 years. It was my dream to be able to stay home and raise my childern. In that time, I was treated with such cruelty and abuse, I thought I was litereally losing my mind. Not to mention the chest pains that I have been having and the heart palpatations.

I couldn't take it anymore and went back to work, to prepare myself to leave him. Since then, he is not so mean to me. I think he feels threatened, not so in control of me anymore.

Our relationship is not good, but the cruelty is few and far between now. We're mostly like roommates. No emotion, no caring.

I've begun therapy, I'm reading self help books, now I'm on this board, I'm really trying to get it together for me and my daughter.

So my question is, why am I waiting for the straw that breaks the camel's back? Why am I waiting for 1 more horrific event to happen before I walk away? I know my marriage is never going to work, but I haven't walked out the door. Why?

May 27, 2005
12:24 pm
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kathygy
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I'll put the question to back to you. Why haven't you left the marriage? If you don't know make some guesses. Are you afraid to be on your own? Are you afraid of the feelings that will come up? Do you just like the familiarity of your marriage? Are you afraid you won't meet anyone new to love? Are you worried about feeling like a failure? Do you believe you deserve a man who really loves you?

May 27, 2005
12:44 pm
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angel1
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September 24, 2010
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I truely understand..I have been married to my husband for 4yrs..he is not verbally or phycially abusive but he gives no support to the relationship..we have gotten to the point we don't sleep together..he has given me no financial or emotional support..and I have such a hard time letting go..he stays out all nite without calling or coming home..we have no children..why do I continue to deal with it..I had my own home before we got married..I have a good job..within the last 4 months I have put him out twice..he has been gone over 2 weeks..and I feel so bad..I don't know why..he was hardly here..didn't work..did very little around the house..I keep asking myself why do I miss him..and I don't have the answe..I just pray I get past these feelings..I don't know where my relationship is headed..all I can do is focus on me and stay in today..it's to hard to think any further...I want him home but I understand that I can't live with him..so I have got to let him go..and let him live his life for himself..I'm sure he has found someone else to take care of him other wise he'd be at my door..there will come a day when you will also say I can't do this anymore..Stay strong...Angel1

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