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can't decide
March 7, 2005
4:55 pm
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infinity
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I really need some help. I know everything in my head but emotionally I'm so attached. When I make a decision to leave this relationship I think I'm doing the right thing but I feel like I'm bailing on him. In fact I'm afraid I can't make anything work. I have moments of strength and than I miss him so much. We both can't seem to let go. I just feel like I need to get myself healthy, both mentally and physically. I packed everything and we decided it was the best thing for both of us. We talked and left still loving each other but knowing we can't make it work. He called and I was so happy to hear from him, He wanted me to come home. We talked and now I'm back where I started from. It's such a vicious circle. When do you decide enough is enough without feeling guilty or like your a failure.

March 7, 2005
5:13 pm
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addicts wife
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i guess when the pro's out wiegh the cons, and the motivtion of new "pro's" inspires you, and stops crippling us.

March 7, 2005
5:25 pm
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infinity
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I guess its time to get some professional help 4 years in a relationship that ends up in the same place won't change without it. I have those moments when I think I'm ready and than I talk with him and lose everything I've gained. Why do we let someone else have so much control.

March 7, 2005
10:47 pm
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on my way
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The only thing I can think of in this instance is that it souns like both of you are using each other to fill some sort of void...no one can do that and it causes a lot of tension in a relationship. You both sound enmeshed with each other without boundaries that are in place. It also sounds as if you fail, you fail together...one of you has to be more informed or stronger than the other one, as it seems you both are weak and just pull each other down.

In my own life? I fill the void with someone who I know will love me regardless of who I am or what I do, adn that person for me is God...as anyone I am in a realtionship with cannot possible meet all of my needs, nor can I meet ALL of his. You both need to realize this if you have not already.

Sometimes it takes geting away from the person for a time and growing and loving yourself for awhile. It almsot sounds like th elove is just an emotion rather than a realization or a commitment to love. Love is also a business partnership, similar goals, similar values, similar interests, similar intellect...and you compliment one another, build one another up.

So patterns can be changed I beleive, it has happened to me as a matter of fact..and I am looking forward to tying to see an old friend of mine, simply to see if after all of this time, there maybe some hope.

Also sounds like your communication between you, may need tweeking a bit...but if a couple has to the tools, and know how to make it work,,,then I believe it can.
Good luck to you, and keep in touch here so we can see how it ends up for you, ok?

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