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can you legally record telephone calls in Connecticut??
February 5, 2006
6:21 pm
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addicts wife
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Hi, J is having a lot of trouble with his son's mother. We have had his son in our custody since thanksgiving, and she is no wanting him to go woth her to her new apartment, rip him out of his school, which she cannot get him to(no car, no license) and she is stating that she will work nights, and Jake will be babysat every night.
She is an alcohic, who called here extremely drunk about 15 minutes ago, being quite argumentative, and J said to her to please call when you're sober so we can discuss this when you're sober. I cannot talk to you now." She then proceeded to call abck 3 times more and more beligerent.
We are going to now fight for custody of Jacob. We have to, for his sanity, well being and s oon, Plus we adore him and want him with us.
Can we legally record these phone calls for using them in upcoming hellish court cases that I foresee??
I have sterted keeping a log of how often she calls, how long she speaks and if she's intoxicated when she calls, but I dont feel that will be enough. J's not got the best track record ewither, as you can tell by my "nickname" and for those who know me here, you know his deal, but he has been clean, and doing a fantastic job with his son, and being a husband, etc for quite a while now. "Her" own father and step mother think we should have full custody, and although I do too, UI know that the courts favor the mom, eve nif she is an alcoholic. She is VERY cunning, con artist, manipulkitive, and has even fooled DCF 6.5 years ago, whe nthey visited and she was bombed. The social worker didnt have a clue as to her being drunk!!
I am soo scared for Jacob, and any guidance in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
I've googled some things such as Fathers getting custody, and researched a little but unless youve been through it, I dont think you can know enough. Knowledge is power.
Thanks in advance for all input.
Sincerely,
AW

February 5, 2006
7:11 pm
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sdesigns
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Hi AW:

I don't know about the laws in Conn., but I think if you tell the other party they are being recorded it can be used legally. so maybe next time she calls, inform her that her call is being recorded. this of course would be on the recording of your conversation.

I used to have an answering machine that would record phone calls, and when a certain button was pushed, a beeping sound would sound during the conversation so that the other party would know it was being recorded, which was then considered legal.

SD

February 5, 2006
7:52 pm
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addicts wife
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thanks ,SD.
Im not sure what to do.
J seems to think she can just show up here and take Jake...Unless she is drunk when she arrives and he said he would then call the police, the nDCF would be informed etc.
I just want ot spare this child from any more of these drunken episodes and ensure that he gets the nurturing, love, attention and stability he deserves, I just kow it will get ugly.
Guess I will look up some single father websites and stuff and show them to J.
This sucks, but it will be for Jacobs well being, and that is our focus.

February 5, 2006
8:02 pm
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sdesigns
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That definitely sucks, but I think you're doing the right thing. I'm glad too that J is stepping up to the plate, staying clean and being responsible. Maybe this will help him too. ((((AW)))) SD

February 5, 2006
9:21 pm
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nvr2late
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I believe you can record phone conversations as long as one party knows they are being recorded (ie you)
That is what I was told by my lawyer, someone cannot bug your house without either of you knowing it, but a person part of the conversation is fine.

I am not sure they are admissable into evidence, but it is worth a try!

nvr2late

February 7, 2006
8:50 am
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addicts wife
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(((SD&Nvr2))))
Thanks for your replies!!1
I am thinking today, that We wont need to record her telephone calls, but I still think it wouldnt hurt!!
She called yesterday, all hoarse, and left a mesege becasue we were with Jake at a school variety show practice((Which he LOVED btw!1 Tooo cute!!))
And she attempted to call one more time, bjt, of course she never called back. Her messege was FULL of rehearsed lies, Like "I'm sick...((well, not a lie, she's terribly hung over, and is all hoarse from screaming at someone all night.))
And she made no references to actually siscussing the issue, Like Didnt mention anything but herself!!
The longer "Lil'J" is here, the more he says, and shares, and He surprizingly(sp?!!)) seems pretty well adjusted. He has never asked why mom hasnt seen him, when hes going home, or when he will see him mom though, which to me, I think IF i were 8, I'd be asking about((?!?!?!))
Guess the fact that when he spoke to her on superbowl sunday, he was squirming in his chair, getting frustrated that he kept having to repeat himself, and said ((To our SHOCK)) "Umm mom, remember when you woke me up in the middle of the night, and screamed and hit me for Noooo reason?? well That REaly freaked me out, so dont let it happen again, okAY...MOM???.." he had torepeat this like 3 times, and she obviously was around people who dont know her the way we all do, and said "Whaaa?? why you talking about that, isss overr, itss in thaaa passss." and this child said((!!!!!)))))) "Umm mom, Just DONT let that happen again, it really freaked me out, and I dont like it."
J took the phone back gently, and walked away to the kitchen with it, where she began to say, Im just tired, I only had a couple..((CASES))
Uggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I was ery impressed with Jakey's mature attempt to address a serious issue, and set a boundary for himself, but what worried me, Is that he is afraid to live wiht her by himself, with out his step dad there, who did most of the prenting,Umm for bothj her and HER.sooo, things really have to be set in motion, and taken care of legally, and firstly for jakes well being and best interests, which they are, but who knows who SHe is talking to, and what she is concocting
Frankly, I think it's about time to STOP "pussy footing" around this person, giving her al lthe power, becasue folks are intimidated by her, and are so used ot handling her with "kid gloves" that it all has gone on waaaay toooooo long.
God knows Ive bit my tongue for years now, becaue I can be blunt,to the point, and in order for J to still be "allowed" to see jake etc, I've let a lot go, becasue she starts threatening at the first sign of constructive criticism,calling her on her BS, etc.
It's seem to me like she is kinda freaking out about "keeping her secret."but the truth is, everyone that knows her , knows she is an alcoholic, who is destructive, abusive, and out of control, yet somehow, she controls them with lashing out, threatening, etc.
Makes me wanna puke!!!
WOW!!!
Guess I needed to vent a lil' huh???
Jake has been doing tremendously better in school, and overall since we've "had him" and that is my focus, for his well being, just breaks my heart that she isnt that for herself, and her own child.
Sighhhhh.
Well, I better get goin'
Have some tidying to do before I go get "stuff" for us to make valentines for his clas, and then Im off to work!!

Thanks for listening!!
(((((((((Hugs))))))))
~AW

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