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can cheaters really change?
September 8, 2005
3:19 pm
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taj64
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September 30, 2010
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I think to look at it from a partnership angle. All these types of pleasure - phone sex, porn, the drives of the partner, - in itself in a relationship, if both partners are agreeable to how much, how little, etc, then ok but if it is not balanced with each other and one of you is hurt by it or morally against it then it really is a big problem for the relationship. In your case, it is problem because you consider it to be cheating, therefore he is cheating on you and not being honest. In another marriage, if the couple enjoy it and are ok with and don't consider it cheating then it is healthy for them.

September 8, 2005
10:32 pm
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HOLLY BERRY
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September 29, 2010
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ONCE AGAIN, ALICAT HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! - it is all about self-esteem. This is my addiction - cheating - and I am still in love with the habit, but am also to the place that I "want to want to" change.....but can't get there. I have fought this battle over 30 years. Sometimes it will lie dormant for a while, then it rears its head again.....I get a rush from being with other guys.

I checked for sexual addiction on google but everything I find is related to porn. The porn I fight is in my own head, and mouth, and body. When I am with a younger, sexy guy who tells me I am beautiful and a fabulous bed partner (not the exact words they use), I feel so alive, until the next day. I know it is self-destructive, but even though I promise myself, never again, I find myself wanting it (just one more time .....ha ha! an addict if I ever heard one). By the way, these guys are not so young as to be considered illegal. I am 51 and the youngest guy I have ever been with was 33 and that was last week....a total stranger....dangerous, huh?

hb

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