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Can anyone help me with this, I posted it on another thread for someone else but she is away and not feeling good..... and I need feedback.
July 26, 2005
1:41 pm
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duckiebobette
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Your words are so helpful! I'm actually doin okay with them right now. I just did 5 princess parties this weekend! Geeeeeese, and its so hot here. But I sored right through it all, all the hard work, frustration, and bs w- the ex. I had a run in with him on Friday night. I saw him at this place where a mutual friends band was playing... I went with two of my friends, and he was there with the girl he's dating , his two brothers and their friends, and his sister-in-law. I didnt see the girl because I left, I didnt want to be there. So later that night I drink a few with my friends, and them get the nerve to text him with "She'll never love you like I do." and being the erogant a-hole he is wrote "You assume a lot, the love factor she has is given:" So basically that was that. He hurt my feelings really bad. So I have had it and email him this the next day:

" July 23rd 2005 Dear E: I guess you thought I was being a bitch... or being sarcastic with the message I sent last night. And you said six months huh?... Does she (who's "love was given" to you) know about that plan of yours? Really. Even being honest with you is confusing.. so this is what I am going to do; I am going to forget about it. You are right, I am probably better off doing so anyway. I don't really mind at this point if I'm the under dog. Atleast I told you my true feelings, and for that I win... for being honest with you, and with myself I win. Can't say its not frustrating, but I can say it feels good to get it all out on the table. So now this is what we do.... you go go your way... and I go go my way.... and there is no looking back this time. I'm tired, and I want to get on. Half a year is a long time, sorry if I am a ball buster for that. Just leave me alone, as I will leave you alone now too. Always, Candice

So he has the adasity to deny all he said in that previous text message I showed about getting mad because I said I can only promise I'll be his friend... He called me and text me to read my email I told him to unsend it because it wont do any good... I hung up on him right when he called because I didnt want to talk about it, and I was on my way to work all he does is shoots me down, and put me in a bad mood anyway. In his email Brashly he replies"

"Are you kidding me?!??!?! You misunderstood what I said about six months. I was talking about you getting over the bullshit and actually hanging out with me as a friend, because it took six months from Jan. 'til now. So what I was saying was that six months from now you'll get over whatever it is you are dealing with and then talk to me civilized only to flip out on me again and start the whole process over again. I have been pretty straight forward with you. The one exception was when I was liquored up at JJ's and was talking to you on the phone. Other than that one slip, I've been nothing but straight forward and honest with you. I don't think you are a bitch or whatever else you may think I think of you (that's a funny sentence). Whatever it is you are going through, if you need anything just let me know, because that's what friends do...they help each other. Confusiously Yours, E

Basically in this last email he wrote I gues he was trying to back peddle, but at the same time leave the door open.

I'm tired of his manipulating shit minded games so I am shutting the door on him. I did what I could for him and I'm not going to disreguard my feelings for him anymore. So I wrote:

"That's your bad 4 not being specific with the 'six mo.' text message a while back.... And thats not what you said the day you were gonna come help me with my math. So we're understood now. I'm not 'going through' anything, so it's not worth worrying over buddy. Oh, and when I say leave me alone I mean it- Alright? Understand you don't fit well into my life... its all behind us. Take it for what its worth, bye E."

I told him I loved him but I just can't have him in my life, at all. He makes things so rotten for me. I am a sunny person and he is like a grey cloud casting his shadow of doubts over me. Mean mean mean. My mom thinks that he wants to completely crush me, and that he's really competitive with me. So he needs to just leave me alone. I have had it up to here with him. HAD IT! Briefly before I left E;s sister-in-law came up to me, and asked me what happened to us... I said he drinks too much,,, and she agreed. She said she missed me so much, and the new girl is nothing like me. She also said she's almost positive he is on drugs. Which is horrible. It would make sence he lost like 15 pounds since we broke up. Frankly I think he is a crazy koo koo mess, and I'm glad I got out of there when I can. What a liar he is. He called me a ball buster and said to have a nice life after I said in six months I cannot promise anything more... remember? He's twisted. He better just leave me the hell alone. I'm in shock about how much of a liar he's become just to protect his ego. Ass face. Excuse me :0 Sorry for the bad language. Anyway I know this is gigantic... so I'll let ya go...

Thank you again for all of your support Charlie. How are you doing? And did you have the flu? Is that why u werent feeling well, or something else? Hope you are well now.

With Love hugs and kisses, DB

duckiebobette
25-Jul-05

He emailed me. "Okay Bye Bye. " In reply to the last email I sent him. He is cooperating.... I guess. Charlie what do you think is going on with all of this. My feeling is that he is just trying to protect himself... so much to the point where he'll even lie ridicoulsly to prove that he's is better.

Remeber this?

"So check this out! I get these text messages from E.... First one says

"So its gonna be another 6 months then? If that? Sry 4 that."

so I text with: I have learned what I needed to. Ur apology is uneccisary."

Then he said "Obviously U havent cuz u cant be my friend. What kind of kaka is that?

I said: "Kaka is spelled caca & I am ur friend, but nothing more I can promise- things change everyday"

he said,"K. No more ball busting. Have a nice life. Gotta go to work L8ter."

I said," I can't promise I'll be around in 6 months is what I'm saying, K? Dont be a jerk.

He said, "Nevermind" "

Well I'll let it all go in one ear and out the other even in this case because I think he is becoming mentally insane. Getting rid of a person this cold is the best idea, as sad as it sounds.... he really isnt the person I'd hoped he was. I will never call him again.... not for help, not for advice, not for a holiday or birthday.... not for anything.

I HAVE EXCERSISED THE DEMON!!!!!

As he floats off into the fog Away far far away.... I bid him good bye.... I'll even pray for his well being... for no-one should endure a love so manipulating, and spiteful as he is... God save him, and the people surrounded by him. I am clean now.

Tired, but clean.

July 26, 2005
2:16 pm
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kathygy
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duckie, it sounds like you are taking good care of yourself by breaking ties with this man who was destructive for you. I didn't completely understand the post but enough to see that you are better off without this man in your life. You are showing yourself that you care about you and that's great.

love,
kathy

July 26, 2005
3:05 pm
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duckiebobette
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Thank you Kathy... sorry its hard to understand... I typed it all out really fast right before I had to go to night school the other day. Yea I thought that I would be feeling bad about this. But, really I'm not feeling bad, I actually feel a lot better, to know he won't come around. And if he might try to contact me I will just say "leave me alone." I'm learning to desiefer the difference between someone with selfish or ill intent and someone who has good intentions. This man is far too conflicted and addicted (to alcohol & possibly drugs) to be a healthy partner in anyones life. I care about him, so it is sad to see him go down this dark path, but in order to maintain a healthy stable life for myself I need to keep away from people like this. I have far too many important plans, and a lust for life... he would only ruin my spirit. To clarify he was my bf for a year and a half (1/2 a yr. ago), and we had recently had a few run ins with each other, thats why this has all come up right now. The bridges are finally burned. Anyway thank you Kathyg for reading this gigantic post.... I appreciate your feedback.
Have a brilliant day!

Love, DB

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