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Can anyone give me advice?
January 1, 2001
11:25 pm
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Bleusky
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I gave a long distance relationship with someone who is 6 years older then me (I am almost 18) He lives almost 2 hours away and we have been boyfriend/girlfriend for about a month now but have been seeing each other for about 6 months. The thing is he is ALOT more experienced then me and has been with at least 3 women and I do not know how to tell him I really want to take things slow. I am a virgin and I do not want to have sex until I am completely in love. He knows this but is always trying to get me to go further.. It bothers me Very much because I don't know if he wants me just for this. He has tried to show me that he cares but i just don't know.I like him so much and I feel if i tell him this he may think I don't Care about him and want to move on to someone both "More available" and of course closer by. I mean telling him I can't have sex with him because I don't love him is a hard thing to do. I want our relationship to work out.. But I feel i may not be ready to be with him or give him what he wants right now. Anyone have advice?

January 3, 2001
4:05 pm
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R2D2
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Stay true to yourself, no regrets that way. I know it sounds a hundred thousand years old to say this, but here goes. "If he cares about you, he'll wait." There, I said it. It was said to me a thousand years ago and was probably first spoken by cavemen, but it is the truth. If he wants to get to know "you" it doesn't have to include sex.

You sound like you have set very high standards for yourself. If you truly feel right about them, dont compromise your feelings. You dont have to say you dont love him, just that you dont sleep with every guy you date. Period. Show him how much you care in other ways.

That's all I can say about the whole thing. The rest is up to you.

Compromising your beliefs and regretting it is a hard thing to swallow. You can never go back once you've gone forward.

Good luck, you sound like a smart chick.

January 3, 2001
10:05 pm
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Sal
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Do the hard thing! Nothing Great is easy. Hold out for YOU!

We'll be cheering you on!

January 6, 2001
11:41 am
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janes
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If he truly respects YOU as a PERSON he will understand and back off.

IF not get out now. With his "greater experience" does not come greater sympathy or compassion.

Don't fool yourself...age does not mean he is mature or truly caring

Stand up for yourself as you have been doing--you will saveyourself so much heartache , grief etc. etc. etc.

good luck

The caveman comments above are right on. I know that's when I grew up and if I would have wited life would be rosier.

j-

January 8, 2001
5:16 pm
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lewis
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'Spot on advice'
Listen to it, there is no rush!

January 24, 2001
9:05 pm
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pg lova
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My advice to you is to do what you feel. Do not let anyone persuade you otherwise. Take it from me, I know. I too am a virgin and have had my mates to try and persuade me to have sex. However, I am not about to do anything until I fall in love. You are doing the right thing, jjust take it slow.

pg lova

January 28, 2001
3:38 pm
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steveareno6
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Bleusky,
Dont compromise yourself for his gratification. Also, dont encourage him by wearing something too inviting. Guys are very visual and are encouraged by the slitest thing a girl does. So be careful what you do and what you wear and location...where you find yourself with him.
Good luck,
steve

January 30, 2001
10:40 am
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Sensational A Manger
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Dear Thread
I would encourage you to take things slower. It doesn't make sense rushing into a relationship if you are being forecd to do things against your will. If this man really loves you then he should respect your wishes and NOT FORCE YOU INTO HAVING SEX.
Always remeber that in your deepest hour you can always pray to the Almighyt God and HE wil always be their for you because GOD promises NEVER TO LEAVE OR FORSAKE US.

P.S Relationships are not something to rush into. God is going to prepare a man for you.

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