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Calling Out Rouxlady
February 9, 2007
7:10 pm
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ggfred4
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okie dokie...i told him we needed to go to walmart and he said,,,let's not go there, let's go to Kroger...ugh...

ttyl...thanks for the questions...very thought provoking!!!

February 10, 2007
10:18 pm
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bevdee
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Yoohoo!! Roux!

Ok- what did you do today? I flipped mattresses, vacuumed them, really really cleaned house, then I went and spent my gift cert. I spent 3 hours looking at stuff, and I got purple stuff for my bathroom, lilacs and other stuff to arrange in a vase, scatter rugs and a metal wall hanging to go over the couch. (I always have such a hard time with the wall thinger to go over the couch).

I went to the marina bar and got some gumbo. There is nothing to report, like meeting anyone interesting, but the gumbo was good, and I talked to some folks, met some neighbors.

Now, I have a question for you. Do you think you could write out a few paragraphs about your mother? Describing her? Your memories? You are not required to do this, but if you do feel like doing it, don't rush or anything.

I'll be back, I'm gonna go make a flower arrangement!

February 11, 2007
11:42 am
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ggfred4
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Bev, again, you are so productive!!! I am glad you went to the marina; you needed to get out after all that work!

I had a friend drop in with her son and we took our kids out to eat. Every place was crowded, so we ended up at the new casino and ate at a restaurant there. We had fun, just us and our kids. I haven't done anything with my daughters in awhile, so it was nice.

Okay, I am curious, why would you want to know about my mother? just wondering....

Enjoy your day today!!!

February 11, 2007
12:36 pm
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bevdee
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Good morning Rouxlady

I slept real well last night- maybe because I expended all my energy yesterday.

I took my final, and only got an 88, but still managed a 92 for that course. Whew, this is a load off my mind. I'm done with school for a while.

I'm glad to hear you are getting out and about. How is your knee?

I only asked about your mom because I can't remember you ever talking about her very much.

Take it easy.

February 11, 2007
2:01 pm
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ggfred4
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About my mom, you made me realize that I do not talk about her much and I am wondering right now why....I am fixing lunch, but I will get back to you on her...

Knee is progressing SLOWLY...I walk now, but not for long. I am having these shooting pains on the inside of my leg, knee on down...Boy, do they hurt, but then when it is over, it is over...no pain...I have no idea if that is part of the healing process or what. I still can't get over how slow I am progressing and I am trying to be patient. I go back to Houston in two weeks for another checkup...Thanks for asking...

I am amazed that you picked up about me not mentioning my mother and how I realized that I do not mention her hardly ever. Will get back after I think about that one.

Glad you slept well!!! Take care...

February 11, 2007
2:55 pm
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bevdee
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Rouxlady,

Here's my thought. A couple of months ago, I was reading a novel about a writer, writing a book. He is experiencing writer's block. Telling it in the first person, that because of his emotional state at the time, he was afraid to write, afraid to try and fail, and afraid to try and succeed.

Blocking.

I started thinking about this. Why I put it off for so long. I can do it. It can flow, but when it does, it is as if I have no control over what comes out. Then I am faced with looking at the black and white and the emotions and thoughts that follow.

Acknowledgement can be tough.

Ok, enough of this rambling. I have pictures to hang.

Please don't think you have to respond to any of this- you won't hurt my feelings. I'm just throwing some thoughts out to you, ok?

Miss GG- remember when you get impatient, TWO surgeries. The muscles, tendons and ligaments in your knee have been traumatised twice in a very short time. That hoint system is intricate and it takes time to build it back up, and it takes time for the body to adapt to the foreign agent in it. (the replacement) Your body is rebelling against all of this. Be patient with yourself, and trust the doctor and physical therapist. I think I am sensing that you are very hard on yourself. (I believe this is because it takes one to know one, ya think?)

Love yourself today.

Bevdee

February 11, 2007
2:58 pm
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bevdee
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oh for cryin out loud - hoint=joint. That's a funny sounding typo.

February 11, 2007
2:59 pm
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ggfred4
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You just explained my surgery better than it has ever been explained to me...so, thank you!!!

Still thinking about mom...will get back when those words flow...

Bev, thank you for all your questions...I mean that...You really get me thinking and that is a good thing...

February 11, 2007
3:01 pm
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bevdee
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(((GG))

February 11, 2007
4:09 pm
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ggfred4
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Okay....here I go...my mom....

My mom is shy and caring, but not affectionate. My dad is definitely the dominant one. He treats my mom like a princess. We even had to bring her coffee in bed on school mornings. She did not get us off to school and she has never worked. She loves to shop, but doesn't spend much on herself. I remember once when I was young that my parents went out for their anniversary. My mom was dressed up and I thought that she was so beautiful. I have never forgotten how pretty she was that night. I don't remember us ever really talking. She never told me about sex, having a period, etc. I remember starting my period and wondering how I was going to tell her. I am searching now to remember my mom during my childhood years. I barely remember her. That doesn't make sense to me. Oh, I remember on the first day of summer, she would hang a leather belt on the l.room door to remind us to behave or my dad would use that on us when he got home from work. Now that I remember.
I don't remember her hugging me or holding me ever. She never even took pictures of me. I have no baby pictures. My dad was real involved with sports and scouts with my brothers, but my mom didn't do anything with me. I had to beg for dance lessons and finally I got to take them, but we had to hire moms to do my costumes because she couldn't or didn't want to deal with them. She hated going to my recitals also. She didn't mind paying for all of this, she just didn't want to be a part of it. Dancing was my great escape; I loved it. Okay, I am stretching here and honestly can't remember anything else. I am now wondering, who was she? Why was she not motherly? Why can't I remember?

February 11, 2007
9:21 pm
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bevdee
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GG-

Wow, you did good! What did your mama do during the day? Was she a cleaning freak, or did she stay in bed alot?

From what you told me, it seems like she was very very shy. Maybe that's why she stayed away from your recitals. She didn't work?

You mention brothers - Were you the only girl?

Did you know her parents?

February 11, 2007
9:33 pm
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ggfred4
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My mom was not a clean freak...that was my dad...I know she watched soap operas and kept the house neat. She has never worked. My mom was orphaned when she was nine years old. Her mother died of breast cancer and her father abandoned her and her siblings. Her maternal grandmother raised her. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters.

February 11, 2007
9:47 pm
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bevdee
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Hmm, your mom lost her nurturing, if it was there, when she was quite young. And abandoned by her father.

Do you think she is/was depressed?

Am I asking too many questions?

February 11, 2007
9:53 pm
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ggfred4
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no, you are not...just making me think...I have no idea if she was depressed; my dad has always treated her well. She has had complete freedom and basically did whatever she wanted to do and still does.

February 11, 2007
10:04 pm
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bevdee
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Was she demonstrative to your other siblings?

My daddy's family? My aunts and grandmother? These old-school southern ladies are very modest. They will not talk about anything female or reproductive or sexual, no coarse jokes, not even one aunt who is a nurse. My mom is different and will talk about these things.

February 11, 2007
10:09 pm
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ggfred4
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I don't remember...honestly...I just don't remember her being affectionate...I became like a mother to my youngest sister. I did her hair, got her ready for school, and even planned her birthday parties.

February 11, 2007
10:14 pm
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bevdee
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"I became like a mother to my youngest sister. I did her hair, got her ready for school, and even planned her birthday parties. "

Where was she?

February 11, 2007
10:15 pm
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ggfred4
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I don't remember...

February 11, 2007
10:23 pm
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bevdee
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Hmm- maybe she slept in? You said you brought her coffee in bed? That's kind of odd, IMO. My mom, manic as she was, taught us to lay out our clothes the night before, and woke us each morning by singing this awful song. "good morning good morning good morning it's time to rise and shine" We would get out of bed real fast so she would stop that awful singing.

I wonder what the story was between her and your daddy- I mean she had 5 kids, and y'all waited on her?

You got that caretaking/big sister thing going on with your little sister, just like I did.

What did your daddy do for a living?

February 11, 2007
10:31 pm
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ggfred4
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Yes, I knew that she would not get up until she had one cup of coffee in bed. We each had "duty days" when we were old enough and had to clean the kitchen from top to bottom daily. My dad did and still does the dishes on Sunday. My dad waited on her and still waits on her today.

My dad was one of these men who started at the bottom of a company and rose to Vice President. He is very energetic.

February 11, 2007
10:42 pm
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bevdee
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Well Rouxlady

You tapped into some memories tonight, didn't you? I wonder if you can't remember much because she was absent, or because it might be painful to remember? I blocked alot of stuff for a long time. I hope I didn't press at you too much.

I need to go to bed because I have to get up earlier than usual in the morning to go to the doctor. Wish me luck? that I don't lose my nerve. I plan on asking for a referral to a therapist.

I'll look for you later, sweetie.

February 11, 2007
10:54 pm
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ggfred4
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nite bev...I am fine.

February 13, 2007
9:33 pm
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bevdee
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GG

I just wanted to tell you personally that I did it. I asked for and got the referral for a therapist.

We'll see how it goes. I finally opened another box, wrote it all out, and I am feeling really sick, numb and drained. I am wondering if I should have waited, but once I made the decision to ask for the referral, I guess - I wanted to.

On a lighter note - My next door neighbor has asked me to teach her to crochet, and we have been shopping for yarn and hooks, and I have been unpacking all my craft stuff, because she needs a basket for her work, and we decided it needs to be lined with fabric, so the yarn will not snag.

So - that's all about me- how about you? How YOU doin?

Bevdee

February 14, 2007
9:56 am
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ggfred4
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(((Bev))) I am glad you got that referral. It is normal to second guess yourself about asking for that referral. You have been opening boxes left and right and maybe your heart knows it is time for the therapist. I wish the best for you.

I am doing fine. I actually am showing improvement finally in physical therapy. I think my doctor appt. in Houston is going to go well. A few weeks ago, I did not believe that at all. Between work and three 2 hour sessions of p.t. each week, that is about all I do. I haven't had much of a social life since the initial surgery. I have always been the person on the go, not caring to stay home much. When I do, I always clean. I have been forced to stay home and now I am actually learning to relax and enjoy it more...

Have a nice day!

February 14, 2007
5:32 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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Ladies....Happy Valentines Day...

(((GG & Bev)))

GG, I LOVE YA AND MISS YA....

Just popping in, and now popping out...

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