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Calling All Artists.... I think I have a problem.
November 15, 2005
8:58 am
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artist 2
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Since I've been dedicating myself fully now to my painting, my interest in sex with my boyfriend has gone away. Primary in my head is working on this piece. I don't even really think about sex at all. I enjoy being with my boyfriend, and love being physical and snuggling, but my desire to "do it" has all drained away.

He has called attention to this change, and I don't know what to tell him other than be honest, "I just don't feel it." I don't want to lose him, but I want the feeling to be natural too, and not artificially drummed up.

Has this happened to you? How do you handle it?

November 15, 2005
9:02 am
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Anonymous
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has anything else changed? are you taking any new medications or any new prescriptions, including birth control?

how old are you?

age and medication and depression are typical factors in loss of libido. something to consider.

If you are under 40 - it is not normal to lose a libido for no reason....there is typically a reason.

I am not sure if your dedication to the painting would take it away - as libido has alot to do with hormones and most of the time, changes are responsible.

I know it's "possible" to "will" your libido away - out of sight, out of mind...but typically, at least for me....if I have a dry spell - coming into close personal contact will "revive" the feelings, no matter how much I want to ignore them.

November 15, 2005
9:26 am
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Regret
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artist 2,

In addition to what Ali has posted, are you stressing abt meeting deadlines etc? Are these paintings for galleries and if so, are they on your back to receive them? Are you worried about whether they would sell or not?

Stress, even in a subtle way can also be guilty in this department.I know it happens with me when i have deadlines looming over my heads or i am waiting for feedback from my supervisors.

Best to u

November 15, 2005
11:58 am
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artist 2
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I'm not stressing over anything... and am finding more fulfillment painting than I ever have before.

I'm 43 years old but have tested and am not going through menopause. It's almost as if the painting is all I need.

It's weird, but also gives me an incredible sense of freedom that I never have felt. Like I don't really need him any more.

November 15, 2005
12:03 pm
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addicts wife
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When I get alll involved with using my creativitry and focusing on making artsy stuffetc. It does seem to satisfy other needs and cravings etc. You are probably fullfilling things with in you that were otherwise articulated sexually...
(((Maybe)))
that is my opinion from experiences with my saelf and my own neurotic creative miond when I get "Into" artwork.

November 15, 2005
12:16 pm
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Lass
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I completely agree with addicts wife. When I am into what I am doing, I lay in bed awake and even dream it. Creative energy and sexual energy are one and the same thing, just channeled differently.

I think it is really cool to get into that kind of space.

LL

November 15, 2005
12:22 pm
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addicts wife
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(((Lass)))
I dream about some projects too. I can be so consumed when I "Tap into" that creative energy, and its not a "Bad" consumed, just a wonderful place to be. letting ideas, and thoughts and creativity flow and roll around in my head. and it's not something I have been able to 'conjure'up when it happens I have to roll with it,and I hafta' say, Ive made some pretty cool stuff when this happens.
There are soooo many different types of creativity, and they can be channeled differently,some use that passion and become more sexual, sensual is probably a better term, but at times, I think it's totally normal" to be content w/ that in itself, and just not be feeling"frisky" some get so focused that the sex drive is not forgotten bout or ignored, its just not the top/only priority while we're in our "zone."

November 15, 2005
2:05 pm
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kjalone
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Yep, when I'm really into my art, there's no room for sex. Other normally enjoyable activities can seem an annoying distraction when I want to create art all day and night. I try to take some time anyway, though, because it's not fair to your partner to deny all your attentions for more than a couple days, do you think? Anyway, being able to get totally into your hobby, or art, or whatever, is the opposite of codependency and is very healthy for us at times. Takes the focus off of others for a while. Enjoy creating.
kj

November 16, 2005
5:22 pm
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artist 2
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thanks everyone for your feedback! It feels good to be supported.

kjalone, Yeah, I'm learning... it's fair to take the focus off it, and onto my boyfriend if only for an evening. But, my painting is in the back of my mind the whole time... Thanks.

November 16, 2005
5:34 pm
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addicts wife
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...maybe you could paint your boyfriend???
((((LOL)))))
Hope that didnt offend anyone, but it crossed my mind so I thought I'd share it.It could be fun.
(((hugs)))
AW

November 16, 2005
5:36 pm
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Mishy2sons
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I am going to jump in here and agree with Lass, a.w. and kj. When I am writing, the rest of the world goes away. It is as though I am in a fever over whatever I am working on. Yes, I have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to write before the sentences and ideas fly from my head and are lost. (And I write about history - not especially creative!)

My only suggestion is to try to explain this to your partner and hope for support and understanding. Also, you might take a breather between canvasses to work on a little romance.

November 16, 2005
6:33 pm
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artist 2
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Actually... addicts wife, I have suggested that he be my model! funny....

November 16, 2005
6:45 pm
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addicts wife
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Artist2....maybe you could actually paint Him.... Like with finger paints, Not a canvas...Like put paint ON him, make him your mural!!
LOL

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