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butterfly update
May 1, 2009
3:10 am
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just wanted to update and keep getting support. I'm off to a 5K this weekend and to see my sis! Looking forward to this tradition we have made together. We do this every year.

Went and saw hubby. This week I have been telling him some of my true feelings, how he has hurt me, and that I need to know if he wants to work on our marriage. And I've actually told him that - not fluffed it all up. I also have been talking to a good friend that is a recovered alcoholic, but was helping me through feelings - anyway, reminded me of what I usually practice very well, to pray.

Well, the hubby called me earlier and wanted me to bring a paper with me so he can start looking for a job as he is ready to come home.

And we talked a lot. He wants to start working on bills with me, so I don't have that burden alone, and says he married me for a reason, not to havr 3 tough yrs, then throw it all away. And that he didn't adopt my son to give him a split up family.

I know we have a lot of work ahead, and part of me is scared. I don't want to try so hard that I lose myself again, now that I am just starting to fine me as a person again - not the mom, child, wife, etc, but ME. I am happy, but am scared. I've hated my feelings the past few months, and don't want to be crazed again. I also want things to go slow so we can work on our problems. I don't want them swept under the rug.

Any advice on how to improve our marriage, now that he finally is showing some effort, without losing myself and appearing selfish?

I feel odd to be scared! This is what I've been waiting for, been obsessed about. It still might be a little while, as he won't put in his 2 wks until he has a new job found, so maybe that is good. to slowly talk about our hurts and future hopes with each other - and me to learn about boundaries. I don't have any! Any advice on not getting carried away would be great. Thanks, will keep updating.

May 1, 2009
7:43 am
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

just take things one day at a time...see how the hubby does, if he gets a job, if he helps with the bills and the marriage and family...and still keep working on yourself.

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