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Building a Lovely Life
April 13, 2009
9:52 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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bonni too much has happened today i will find something for all of us tomorrow

Bitsy

April 14, 2009
7:41 am
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Bonni and everyone else. I went looking for us some new Positive Affirmations this morning and this is what I found. I personally need these this morning as Cat and I were in a minor accident late yesterday. My truck is mooshed and so is the corner of my house.

It is advisable to repeat affirmations that are not too long, as they are easier to remember. Repeat them anytime your mind is not engaged in something in particular, such as while traveling in a bus or a train, waiting in line, walking etc, but do not affirm while driving or crossing a street. You may also repeat them in special sessions of 5-10 minutes each, several times a day.

I am healthy and happy.

- Wealth is pouring into my life.

- I am sailing on the river of wealth.

- I am getting wealthier each day.

- My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.

- I have a lot of energy.

- I study and comprehend fast.

- My mind is calm.

- I am calm and relaxed in every situation.

- My thoughts are under my control.

- I radiate love and happiness.

- I am surrounded by love.

- I have the perfect job for me.

- I am living in the house of my dreams.

- I have good and loving relations with my wife/husband.

- I have a wonderful and satisfying job.

- I have the means to travel abroad, whenever I want to.

- I am successful in whatever I do.

- Everything is getting better every day.

I will go back to How to Be Your Own Best Friend and see what else I can get for us. Every day in every way I am bound and determined to get better and better:)

Bitsy

April 14, 2009
6:54 pm
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bonni
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((Bitsy))
I'm so sorry to hear about your accident and the damage to your home. You seem so calm and so positive. I am so proud of you. I am going to meditate tonight and send you positive energy.

as for the affirmations, this is really helpful Bitsy. I have been really stuck. I need to choose five.

My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.

I am calm and relaxed in every situation.

I radiate love and happiness.

I am living in the house of my dreams.

I have a wonderful and satisfying job.

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.

That's six. I may need one more.

April 14, 2009
7:41 pm
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Bonni I am so glad something helped this morning. To get the corner of my house fixed by a friend was $150. I have had the same insurance company since 1991 and am one of the few people left with a $250 deductible. Things aren't as bleak as they could be.

I truly will try to find some more affirmations and we all will build a loveLIER life.

Bitsy

April 15, 2009
12:40 am
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Hi Bitsy, thanks for sharing these things, it's very nice, i copied it into my laptop, and will try to focus on them tonight.

i've been so surrounded by negative energies and painful stuff for the past 6 months now, that i had forgotten that what positive thoughts do. i honestly have forgotten what they are!

i adopted a little girl before, and after months of suffering, she passed away last November. then just recently i parted with my bf. so it was really tough on me.

somebody advised me to get a hold of my life, and not just exist. not somebody, a lot of friends told me that, including friends here. and am starting to.

this is really beautiful, Bitsy, thank you.

April 15, 2009
7:16 am
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AFFIRMATIONS FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE

I accept myself totally, just as I am.

I am not here to be perfect or to meet others' expectations.

These are only two from the chapter on self acceptance in the book How To Be Your Own Best Friend.

Let's think about these two today. I really like both of them and can't choose which one to say. The book suggests that we imagine ourselves as a small child wanting love and acceptance and to embrace that child and give it the love and acceptance it wants.

I really need to learn that I am not perfect and do not need to be what others expect me to be. Yikes! I AM single BUT every day in every way I am getting better and better.

Love and hugs to all!!!

Bitsy

April 16, 2009
7:19 am
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bonni
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being my own best friend is kind of a novel concept. I will think about that today.

April 16, 2009
8:07 am
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I would encourage everyone to go buy this small book on how to be your own best friend. Last night I was feeling a little low and retired to the bathtub to read. I read the chapter on self acceptance again and it was so loaded with information I thought, "Oh I have to go post this and this and this." There really is no way without just re-writing the book here and I am sure that is some sort of copyright infringement.

It talked about the different "sub-personalities" we have. We have all heard of the inner child, but we also have an inner parent, a driver, etc.

I have heard of these things before and just thought they were a bunch of bunk. Inner child sminner child... until last night. It made so much sense. I cannot remember a time in childhood when I felt safe and warm and loved and accepted. Secure. I know that I was molested by a family member at an early age. No penetration, but only because he was caught in time. I remember a big family rift over it and I remember my father crying and me being removed from the situation. Any time my mother ever told me how much she loved me she was mostly drunk and I learned instinctively not to trust her and that kind of love. As I result I tell my daughter at random times like just driving down the road how much I love her. My father loved me with everything in him but he and I never were comfortable saying those words to each other. My ex-husband used to tell me he loved me, but I didn't know how to say it back and then we both got lost in apathy. R probably loved me to the best of his ability, but he had a short attention span and fed his ego and moved on.

Who loves this little girl inside of me? I think she is starved for attention but I don't know how to give it to her and the me on the outside is so bitter right now. Does going and getting a pedicure make her or me feel better? Does a massage help her or me? I envision her as an abused child who has just given up and is cowered in a corner, thinking what's the use in trying?

The book says that you have to give that sub personality the attention it wants and love and accept it and incorporate it into your "persona" and it will get the attention it needs and not be as demanding. I really don't think my inner child is being demanding. I think she has finally given up and gone away.

Bitsy

April 16, 2009
8:26 pm
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bonni
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I will keep a look out for the title.

Bitsy, I am quite fond of you. I don't really know you well enough to say I love you, but I do recognize that you are learning to love yourself. Your inner child may be growing up. Isn't that what happens when she realizes that she has the capacity to meet her needs herself and no longer NEEDs to demand, because she has it all already.

hmmm. I could be saying that to me rather than you. I get confused about where you start and I end.

bonni

April 17, 2009
6:41 am
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Today, I am going to try to relax.

April 17, 2009
7:44 am
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Thank you Bonni. Maybe that is what happened, she grew up. Mayb that is why when people talk about the inner child that is why I draw a blank.

You and I do seem to be on a parallel course. There are days when I feel so totally alone. Then something else happens. Yesterday was one of those days. Somehow in all my insuredness, I did not have rental car coverage. I have been stranded since Monday night when the accident happened. Yesterday I borrowed the 1997 truck that had belonged to my father in law. My 22 yr old nephew was the last to drive it and the gas gauge is broken. For the first time in my life I ran out of gas on the side of the road. I flagged a policeman who was leaving his house down and he was on the way to court but drove me to my house where I had a can of gas for the lawn mower. It wasn't enough but the policeman had left and told me if I needed anything else to get Mr. B. who was out on his tractor to help me. I flagged him down. Not enough gas in my can. He had a can of gas in his barn. When he had finished putting it in I asked for his can to go to the station and fill it up when I filled up the truck. He said no, just do something for sommeone else sometime. See there are good people in the world if we just will look.

The estimate to fix my truck is about $6,000. I has been a hell of a week. I am scared that A: Insurance will pay to have my truck fixed and then cancel on me. or B: They will total the truck. I can't afford to buy anything else because I don't have down payment money and my credit is shot from when I almost had to file bankruptcy. No decision can be made until Monday on my truck because it is spring break and everyone is gone.

Bitsy

April 17, 2009
12:23 pm
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bonni
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wow Bitsy. we had a very similar issue with my husbands car. It was going to cost about $5000 to fix. We actually managed to work it out, as a good portion was under warranty. Usually I freak about money, but this time I didn't.

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this and I hope that it works out somehow. It does sound like some special angels are keeping their eyes on you, so perhaps it WILL work out.

I keep thinking about your redesigned home. I need to do that. Of course what I really need to do is haul out the trash, aka about one third of my stuff.

positive thoughts: every day, we are getting better and better. and we deserve for good things to come into our lives. great things. the best things.

how old is Cat?

bonni

April 17, 2009
9:38 pm
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She is a 11.

Bitsy

April 17, 2009
9:48 pm
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my older daughter is 12. i think getting away together would be good if you can swing it. maybe you could do something low key. she will probably just really enjoy the time with you.

bonni

April 17, 2009
11:23 pm
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I am not here to be perfect or to meet others' expectations.

Thanks for the quote
As for the book - do you have the author?

BBlue

April 18, 2009
7:28 am
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How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Louis Proto

Bitsy

April 18, 2009
8:20 am
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OK. So my plans today involve waiting until a decent hour to mow my lawn, during that time I will drink coffee and read my book. Then I will start digging the flower bed I want to put in front of the storage building. I am going to put Mexican Petunia's next to the building and next layer Caana Lillies. From there I may add some caladiums and then surrund it with monkey grass. I have Elephant Ears planted on each side coming up to the deck. I really would like to get some day lillies started as well. I have having to work with what I've got to be budget consciuos. Of course I used to tell my ex husband he could let me spend $100 a week talking to a therapist or he could let me spend $100 a month at the garden center. Which one sounds like the better bargain?

Bitsy

April 19, 2009
9:49 am
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I need to get focused. My brain has been all over the charts recently. I can't sit down and get anything done. I have procrastinated doing something all week that would have only taken me 15 minutes to fix but now is going to take about an hour an I am going to have to explain why I didn't get it done in the first place.

Why did I do this to myslef.

Bitsy

April 19, 2009
11:32 am
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Because you are human and you were doing other things that were more important to you at the time. take a deep breath, it will be ok. I am going to clean out my fridge of rotting food for the first time in a month.

bonni

April 21, 2009
5:17 pm
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From Daily Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics:

April 21,

I EXPERIENCE SOLITUDE WITH CALMNESS AND PEACE.

I have no fear of being alone today. I greet solitude as I'd greet an old friend, with warmth and a smile. In solitude I have a respite, a time for calmness adn peace, a time for communing deeply with my (that which cannot be named on this side).

Growing up in an alcoholic home, I was afraid of being alone. I dreaded isolation and abandonment. There have been times, as an adult, when I continued in bad realtionships rather than be left with loneliness and isolation.

Today, I can be alone but not lonely. I do not shun others; I find time for others - many others in my life, who care for me and support me in my recovery. I nned time to myself, when I can be serene, comtemplative and available to wisdom.

Today I give myself time to be alone, and I am calm and relaxed in my quiet solitude.

Bitsy

April 22, 2009
12:20 am
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Bisty
very good comment
Thanks

BBlue

April 22, 2009
8:11 am
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April 22, Daily Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics:

I CAN GET HEALTHY AFFECTION TODAY.

Today I can relax in my relationships with others and get the warmth and affection I need. I kam a whole person, whether or not I am in a relationship. In my desire for affection, I am neither greedy nor insatiable.

I will not "wheel and deal" to geth the affection that I need. I want to have relationships where I don't have to perform or give up my power to have my needs met. I will not BUY affection at any cost. I declare myself unwilling to sell my soul, my body, or my identity.

Today I possess a deep knowing that I can maintain my sense of self, and still get the affection I need and deserve.

Bitsy

April 22, 2009
1:48 pm
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hi dropping in to see what this thread is about....

April 22, 2009
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"Today I possess a deep knowing that I can maintain my sense of self, and still get the affection I need and deserve."

very profound statement to me.

no something i can do at the moment, but is what i am aspiring to become.

April 22, 2009
2:46 pm
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Thanks for the post...it helps and I too am aspiring to the top.

Z

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