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Building a Lovely Life
February 5, 2009
7:43 am
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bonni
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I did next to nothing yesterday. I woke up without my alarm clock this morning. I made breakfast for my kids. I am going to go walk on my treadmill soon. Don't have a plan for the rest of the day yet.

I do hope it includes half an hour of sitting in silence.

bonni

February 6, 2009
8:19 pm
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bonni
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OK, time to take a deep breath and sit in silence for five minutes and see what comes.

bonni

February 6, 2009
10:10 pm
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red blonde
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(((bonni)))

Guess it is time I pulled out my vision board and started adding things to it. It has been a while! Thank you for reminding me.

Red!

February 7, 2009
8:07 am
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I cleared out an alcove in my house that was home to a china cabinet. I made an office area there. It is painted beadboard and to have the whiteness showing instead of a big piece of furniture just seems to open up the whole space and makes me happy.

Bitsy

February 7, 2009
1:29 pm
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MsGuided
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((bonni))

Thanks for adding a very pro-active and healing thread.

Being responsible for our happiness and the choices we make is the only answer.

Do I ever hate hearing myself, and seeing my complaints. Wallowing.

We rid ourselves of a whole 20 yard bin of "clutter" when we moved to our house, and i only have a little more to deal with.

Part of keeping ourselves clutter free is a combination of controlling our impulse shopping ( luckily i am the oppostie, I have a hard time buying anything !) and having proper storage : containers, shelves, organizers.

The latter part I'm working on now.

Since my focus is sustainable living here's an article about clutter that may help us "organic focused" types. It also mentions the shopaholic tendencies that create the problems we have.

http://www.vitalitymagazine.co.....cluttering

All the best to everyone!

February 7, 2009
6:35 pm
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nidesoma
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Bonni,

I have been reading a couple of threads you have commented on. Have you ever thought of physically taking a canvas and paint and finding out what you would put on that canvas? In my worst of times I painted. It was the only thing that kept me sane. Haven't picked up a brush in quite some time because I know I'd only make a totally black piece of art.

Thank you for your threads.

February 7, 2009
7:04 pm
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bonni
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Nidesoma,
Interesting suggestion. The other day, I did a pencil sketch of a lighthouse while watching "A Stolen Life." My daughter wanted me to draw more, but after completing the scene, there was nothing left.

I think that it would be cool if you got some clay and sculted your feelings and then painted it black. I think I have some clay. I may do that myself. Don't know about the black though. Maybe white.

bonni

February 8, 2009
3:40 pm
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bonni
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It shouldn't be this hard to figure out what I want. It shouldn't be this hard to come up with the energy I need to get moving.

bonni

February 9, 2009
7:35 am
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sunshine88
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hi everyone, this is a lovely thread. sometimes i get to ask myself, what will my life have to be like, to be called lovely life? i dont know the answer to that!

i haven't been married. i've only been with two men in my life, and am already in my mid30s. what is a lovely life! single? single forever? married? having children?

to top it all, i want to see myself happy being alone. this is my goal this year!

February 9, 2009
9:49 am
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I keep coming back to this thread. I want to write something profound that will help us all and I keep drawing a blank.

I know there have been days in my life when I have been purely miserable and could only lie in the bed and cry. Thankfully today I am not in that place. I know I may be tomorrow, but today is warm. I have my kitchen door open, I am listening to birds chirp. Life is good. It may not always be great but at least it is good.

Remember, Every day in every way we are getting better and better.

Love and hugs to all

Bitsy

February 9, 2009
12:52 pm
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truthBtold
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Gosh......I am SO LIKE the weather!

Yesterday was a great day for me!

Was the first time this year that I could slip on my ole sandals & T-shirt and got out in the yard to fertilize the little, itty bits of lawn seed which are now sprouting.

How healing gardening is!!!!!

In that - you can actually SEE the fruits of your labor as opposed to constantly churning around negative thoughts in my head which say.....it doesn't matter - why keep trying?

A "Vision Board" like red blonde says.

Great reminder.

....think I'll get on that one....

February 9, 2009
5:37 pm
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bonni
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((Sunshine))
A lovely life is neither single nor married, it is both with and without children. It is the product of your fondest wishes. It is happy with itself as it is and its trajectory. It has sunny spots of quiet for reflection. It has hours that pass by without realizing time has passed. It is an engrossing book, a nice meal, a clean home, a comfortable bed, a good night's sleep, a long, satisfying run, clothes that fit, a good haircut, a trip to the store where instead of finding the perfect thing, you realize you already have everything you need. There is no recipe except the one you compose in your head. Its real as soon as you close your eyes and dream it.

bonni

February 9, 2009
5:40 pm
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bonni
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((Bitsy))
This morning, moving the laundry forward, I heard this voice trying to remember the way it goes, "Every day and in every way, I am getting better." That was your voice I think. All day long, it kept rising. Perhaps I need to write it down.

I think the blank canvas is as important as what we will put on it.

TBT,
I wish I had the patience to garden. I have this one rosemary bush. I love it. I grew it from a small plant. Now I have its baby in my window. Time to make a new one, I think.

bonni

February 10, 2009
8:41 am
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I think for the first time in my life I have realized to be happy, I have to be happy right now. I can't wait and say tomorrow I will be happy. When I have a jacuzzi tub again I will be happy. When this or that happens I will be happy. Yes, there is certain benefit in looking to the future and having dreams but in order to be really happy, we have to be happy in the here and now.

Bonni,I have been super fling boogying. For 20 years I have hauled my mothers china cabinet from one end of this county to the other. As you know she recently died. I finally emptied it out and found a home in the kitchen cabinets for all the china and crystal. I hauled it one more time out to the storage shed and have plans to haul it one last time to a resale shop. After I found out she was dead it just was easier to let it go. Now I have a nice white white white alcove that I have set up as my office area since I work from home and my kitchen looks much larger. I have a big box of stuff in the back of my truck to drop off at goodwill today. There must be some truth to this letting go of stuff...an ex boss called me yesterday and said he had been working on his books and realized he owed me some money. He wants to get with me this week to give me a check.

Another thought...you know you can write on your bathroom mirror with dry erase markers. Maybe we should start some positive affirmations to look at for a week at a time as we are getting dressed.

Bitsy

February 10, 2009
8:59 pm
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bonni
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((bitsy))
I have to remember to be happy now too. I do love to dream. I'm happiest when I'm dreaming and can believe in my dreams. I was happy tonight too though. My 8yo dd was superhelpful and cooperative. Lunches are pretty much made for tomorrow. The kitchen is reasonably clean (shined sink twice) and baths are done. I know this should happen every night, but I feel like celebrating the fact that it happened finally TONIGHT.

I need to superfling. I want to. I'm still trying to master the basics. Sometimes I ask myself why I can't be like the flybabies who burst from their cocoons all tidy and habit filled in a few months. I'm still trying to shine my sink.

And then I remember that I spend two hours a day commuting and about eight hours a day working. Plus I'm a mom. My girls still require supervision. I have a lot to fit in my day. Of course, so do you, so do most people. I just haven't quite found a balance. So, the number one thing I'd like to spend less time doing, the activity I'd most like to fling? Nagging my kids. SO, I revised their daily routines and TODAY it worked with the 8yo. So, maybe if I make a point of encouraging use of the family control journal and rewarding use of it, I won't have to nag?

Flinging useless, unenjoyable tasks is still flinging, right?

every day and in every way, I am getting better and better (and healthier and happier!). I think you can use soap on mirrors too. Going to try it.

bonni

February 11, 2009
6:16 pm
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bblue
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I have be decluttering each and every day - well almost every day.
It has been very uplifting letting go of junk and putting past stuff I can't quite throw yet away neatly.

I have a bedroom again without all the piles of stuff - just my top shelf in the closet - and my nightstand.

The spouse had to take care of the box of his stuff.

He is gone away working and its not my problem.

It has also been good having time to think and reflect - all by myself.

BBlue

February 11, 2009
7:12 pm
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bonni
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Tonight everyone did a five minute mission from the mission jar. YAY us! 8yo dd did TWO, voluntarily. One of them was a hot spot fire drill. WOW. I never could have visualized this.

bonni

February 17, 2009
6:44 am
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bonni
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I am discouraged because I have gained some weight. Just five pounds right now and I'm hoping it will come off after I'm done bloating. I need to build time in my day for the things that are important to me, quietly thinking, exercise.

Struggle is part of the process. It may be uncomfortable, but maybe its necessary and worthwhile.

bonni

February 17, 2009
10:46 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Blue and Bonni

What great accomplishments!!

I cleaned up my bedroom and bathroom too. Also all the pet cages. The house smells better. I had to hit down right disguisting in the smell department before I got the motivation to fix it. But the important thing is that it is fixed.

February 18, 2009
6:47 am
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bonni
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Good Morning Chel,
Oh how much I love how my house smells and feels after I clean. I wonder sometimes if I don't let it get bad sometimes, just so I can tell a difference when I'm done, but then I realize that's not the reason. I'm just not sure I feel like I deserve to put the tasks that will keep my home and my body nice and comfortable at the top of the list.

Hmmmm. Chel, you deserve that wonderful freedom from bad odors in your home.

bonni

February 18, 2009
9:09 am
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Good morning all. Sunday afternoon I cleaned my bathroom. To the point I was down on my hands and knees with the Murphy's Oil Soap to clean the floors and baseboards. I love a clean bathroom. I finally set up a home office in an alcove but I haven't gotten it organized that is my mission for this week.
Love to all.

Bitsy

February 18, 2009
1:24 pm
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bblue
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Still sorting and tossing. took a bag of magazines to the local library and have one for the hospital.

BBlue

February 18, 2009
2:51 pm
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Zebra
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Now you guys are making me feel bad....I need to clean out clostes and I have been putting it off. Well guess I will make that a point now.

I too like the smell of a clean house and it does feel good when things are not cluttered.

with love, Z

February 18, 2009
5:35 pm
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Zebra, don't feel guilty. We have no room left in our lives for guilt. Set a timer for 15 minutes and when the timer goes off you are DONE. Congratulate yourself on how much you got done and do it again tomorrow or next day.
B

Bitsy

February 18, 2009
7:14 pm
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bonni
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I need to take a deep breath and be deliberate about each next step.

bonni

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