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brownie's response from the other post
October 28, 2004
8:13 pm
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brownie
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hey camer,i did not know you work for a newspaper company,that is really something.so what is your occupation?i like to hear more about it.Otherwise,i can understand that your busy.it's always good to hear from you.we'll talk later.HUGS TO YOU

October 28, 2004
10:03 pm
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CAMER
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Hi Brownie..yes a super busy day here today...in Boston for the 2nd largest newspaper company here in Massachusetts.

I work in the Circulation Department, and yes, we sold sooooo many papers today, presses were running so much...I actually regulate the orders for wholesalers and store accounts...its a computer type job, and I love it!!! working with numbers most of the day and I have to be very careful on #'s that I punch in on the computer. Accuracy is a must.....but I have been here long enough, and love my job!!!
Thanks for asking.

So Brownie...and you too Magga....how are you gals doing tonite?? me, not much but work, work,
work and the same for tomorrow.

Will be back on Friday.

((((hugs to you both))))

camer

October 29, 2004
8:14 am
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brownie
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Good morning camer and maggalisa.i hope i hear from you maggalisa.camer,it's always good to hear from you.

that is really great that you love your job.I also had a feeling that you was from boston.it is beautiful over there from what people are tellling me.you know something else too,my team and your team,the red sox you know was in the world series and your had just won.congragulations.

boston has some great players including basketball.

Also,you be on the internet at your job talking to us?cuz you said you be on the computer at your job.we'll talk later.(hugs to you)

October 29, 2004
8:16 am
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Also camer i forgot to mention this,you have to work all day and all night?from what i read.

October 29, 2004
9:55 am
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morning Brownie...yes, here at work its super busy, I am on break now!!! and just for yesterday and today I will be working loooooonnnnngggg hours!!! its part of the job!! especially with the world series Boston winning!!!, I am tired, but next weeks paycheck will be nice, with all this overtime!!!

will chat later!! ((((hugs and prayers)))) camer

October 29, 2004
2:29 pm
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hi camer,i see now what you mean.the fact that th boston red sox just won,it's more hours for you to work.Otherwise,you don't be working long hours.

Well just take it easy with the work and be easy on yourself.take as much breaks as possible.I will ask god to give you strength in this.hugs and support to you.i will talk with you later.

October 29, 2004
2:33 pm
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Brownie...what a sweetie you are!!! thanks for the prayers...and yes with all this Boston Red Sox stuff going on, with a big parade 2morrow, and a big magazine section going out on
Monday.....there are so many people out there who want copies of yesterdays paper, and the newspapers are selling off the shelves quicker than we can deliver them....its just hectic here working with all these
numbers and all.....will be here late tonite & maybe 2morrow....will check back later & hope all is well with you....and you too Magga!!!!

((((lotsa love, hugs, prayers and support))))
camer

October 29, 2004
9:03 pm
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brownie
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hi camer.I came back on tonight to check in to see how your holdin up.Talk with you later.i really feel for you.with all that work you have to do.(hugs and prayer to you).

October 30, 2004
3:59 pm
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Hi camer,i was wondering how are you holdin up.i know you mention there was a parade today.Again,just take as much breaks as possible and i will talk to you later.hugs to you

October 30, 2004
4:58 pm
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hi brownie, thanks for asking and checking in..worked late last nite, and was up at 5am today finished work around 2pm....now I am visiting my parents. Just mellowing out...not out with Mr. Sweetie, I just need balance, like family and friends and things in my life and not just him, so tonite is a good nite...he was nice about everything..he didn't even ask to come over here with me..or question why i was going to my parents house...again, this is all new.. only a few months, and I don't want to rush things, too quick too soon..so balance is a good thing for me.....Brownie, how are you holding up lately with your feelings re: hubby and moving into and apt...I am here for you always!!!

(((hugs and support))) camer

October 30, 2004
6:56 pm
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brownie
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Hi camer.Again thanks for always being there for me and it's the same likewise.God i tell you camer,is remarkable how he wants something done.regardless to how you feel or i how you may want it,his will will be done.This was concerning my husband.i had to do alot of thinking these past few days and at the same time,staying in my recovery.

God has showed me so many things from the last time i told you about the lingerie incident last sunday night.I had isolated myself from him and was not talking to him.i was upset.i was ready to throw in the towel for good.

So all the time camer,god was showing me the reason why my husband did not want to get together right away and that was because he was scared for us to get back together.

I had left some information out that i had forgot to tell you.i really have a bad memory.ever since i gets stressed more often now,i tends to forget more.I forgot that i played a part of the reason why he act the way he do.I have threw him out the house,always kept mentioning about gettin a divorce.i was very codependent.i will tell you more later.but god is good.

I am glad that your work is done.I know that was very hectic.i am surprised that you was able to go to your parents house.I figured you would still be tired from working long hours and working late.but i'm glad your finished.i will talk to you later.Hugs and support to you.

October 30, 2004
9:06 pm
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HI Brownie: i thonk i am just soooo tired and so burnt out I cannot think!!!! and I did promise my dad that I'd visit him...even though the
long work day today, just came out of the blue....the boss asked me Friday nite to come in Saturday and I said yes!!! I have been running in
overdrive all day today...wired from just being up for so long and not enough sleep, which I will get lots of tonite!!!

And Brownie, anytime you want to vent or talk more about you and your hubby, just know I am always here for you. And yes, God does work in
miraculous ways. I myself, was getting a lil' too pressured into seeing my Mr. Sweetie....and boom, all this work and overtime, I have no time to see him....and my Sweetie is great about it, he knows that I
have to do this work, etc...and no pressure of us getting together....its good, cuz he doesn't make a big deal about it now...and it worked out good, that I was so busy with work, and kinda feeling too
pressured into seeing "him"...that things did work out ok!!!! so everything is good.

I will say my prayers for you honey...and I hope all is well with you and your children, and I am here for you always,,,,,with hugs and support!!!

(((((camer)))))

October 30, 2004
10:16 pm
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brownie
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Hi camer,i see what you mean,you had promised your dad that you was coming over.well like you said you will get lots of sleep tonight.Do your parents live in boston also?

As for venting,i believes you camer,that you are there for me,it's just that i did not want to write no real long post.I did not want to make it difficult for you to read.but i'll continue to finish up.

So i was also you could say acting stubborn.i was also in so much pain.Feeling so sad.feeling like this relationship was a waste.but god kept telling me in the back of my mind that my husband still needs more time and he's also scared.god showed me also that i had put him through alot with the puting him out and always kept mentioning about getting a divorce on and off.So i at that time,i was through with him.we was not getting along.we was both under alot of stress.we was going through alot with landlord.

So god taught me to understand and to see how it feels if the shoe was on the other foot.i did not never took the time to do that in the past.
so i had to do alot of thinking,plus my friend,she is spiritual also and she has showed me things that god had showed her to tell me.she also told me about the website that i told you about.i really love it.It really pinpoints the problems in a marriage.Did you find it to be helpful camer?i hope so.it deals also with family issues.

So my friend told me that i need to communicate with him and not to continue in silence,because keeping in silence will not let things happen naturally.it will hold back the blessings that god has in store for us.so as of last night,i talked with him.i broke the silence.i told him that i apologized for the way i was acting.i had to do some thinking and i needed to do that.i told him that i accept what he said about not wanting to get in a relationship now.i said i understand and i accept it in a good way.before i did not accept it in a good way.i had forgot my part that i played.

So he was so happy and he said 2x that he really really appreciates what i said.he really do.Then he opened his arms out and hugged me real tight and said that we have to communicate more.i had agreed.so that's what happened.I am really grateful for that website.they have issues regarding marriage concerning communicating.They show you how to go about and what to say.I know that this is god telling me.He wants us back together.Also another thing happened.My father-in-law left the place to us since last week.last friday,he told me that his father said that we are in charge of the bills.So i was so haaapy.It's like heaven when hes not here.

So god is working overtime to get us back together.i see it more and more.i am soooo grateful to god for these blessings and also to have friends like you,the site,the other website,my friends and coda to be here for me.i am thankful to him for that!!!!!

Thank you also for praying for me and my children.i will continue likewise to you.I am so glad that your friend is very understanding,that's a real plus.

I will talk to you tomorrow.i will let you get some sleep.You have sweet dreams and a good nights rest.(HUGS AND SUPPORT) to you.

October 31, 2004
3:11 pm
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Good afternoon camer.i had written you last night and i figured you were asleep,so i am just checking in to see how sleeping beauty is doing.lol.hope you had sweet dreams.i will talk to you later.(HUGS AND LOVE)

November 1, 2004
12:26 am
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Hi camer,i have not heard from you all day.probably my post was further down from the list.I was not home this evening anyway,i was taking my kids out trick n treat.So i just got back home tonight.I guess i will be talking to you tomorrow.hugs and peace to you.

November 1, 2004
6:55 am
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hi Brownie: i was only online for a few minutes yesterday.....I am back in action now!!! Happy Monday to you....and yes, I am going to check out the website you mentioned, it sounds so helpful...I just have been bogged down with work and with sleep that I don't have much free time.

I am soo happy for you, for all your
communication and I can see God is working in your life, and yes your hubby too, seems to be opening up more...it must have felt really good to talk with your hubby and even better for him to willingly give you not 1 but 2 big long hugs!!!!! that is sooo good, and I know communication is key in any relationship...cuz we are not mind readers, and yes Brownie, you are so patient with yourself and I am so proud and happy the way things are working the way back into your marriage.

Again, lotsa hugs and prayers for you and your family, and wishing you a wonderful day....i;ll definitely be back online this afternoon sometime,,,,hope to hear from you soon!!!

((((hugs, love and support))))
camer

November 1, 2004
9:24 am
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brownie
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Good morning camer,it's good to hear from you again.i can understand that you was resting up.i felt kinda down last night and this morning.I really do not want to sound like i'm placing expectations on people,but i am just grieving right now.i'll check in later.i don't feel like talking right now.Hugs to you

November 1, 2004
9:27 am
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Brownie, hope you are feeling better,,,,one good thing is try not to "think" too much, maybe cuz of fear of what will happen??? not sure, I am like that, thats why I stick with taking things "one day at a time" then there is not too much pressure.

My thoughts and prayers are always with you.

(((camer)))

November 2, 2004
8:56 am
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Hi Brownie, checking in to see if you are ok, I know you weren't feeling your best the other day...hope all is well, my thoughts and prayers are with you ((((camer))))

November 2, 2004
9:24 pm
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Hi camer,thanks always for praying and thinking of me.yesterday,i was trying to be careful not to assume on anything and people.i had to talk to my husband yesterday about an issue with me.As far as staying up late on the weekends,when he tells the kids to go to bed a certain time,does that apply to me? and he said yea,but that he said as a suggestion that i should put the babies to bed early,and give myself some time.I have thought of that before.

Then he said,every other weekend,he will let me stay up.so we communicated well.it worked out.we also continues to hug one another and he would kiss me on the forehead or on the face.

This codependency camer is really something.i feel at times that i resort back to my old behaviors and i expects that to happen from time to time.But,it can be really hectic.also with my inner child involved.i been forgetting about her too much lately.i need to stay focus on her.so like melody beattie said,there is no straight recovery.

Thanks again for being concerned and praying for me.i was not gonna come on today,but i changed my mind when i saw you came on.HUGS TO YOU.

November 2, 2004
10:07 pm
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hi brownie...just take your time, hour by hour if needed. I am glad you and your hubby are making more of a connection, he seems more interested and concerned with your well being, and the hugs and kisses on the forehead and cheek are good things!! Gosh, I resort back to my old ways so much..but that is part of life, we live and learn...and I try not to repeat bad mistakes with codependency...but I do, and I am not perfect..but I do recognize when I do this, and try to find out "why" i would do something that was not right...I guess alot has to do with my attitude, about "not caring" or waiting until 2morrow to change.

Just be patient with yourself Brownie, and get some much needed rest, and give your mind a lil' break too..its good for you.

Have a pleasant nites sleep...I will tuck you in now, with hugs and prayers and hopefully talk with you 2morrow.

Nitey nite!!
((((camer))))

November 3, 2004
9:30 am
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Good morning camer.How are you feeling today.I feel okay except my father-in-law came 2 days ago and i don't usually be happy when he's here.But i also look at it this way that god made it a way for him to go to his wife house and stays there most the time now.so that is truly a blessing.

It is really something how god feels and sees what your going through.

Like this morning,before my husband went to school,him and his dad was talking and i i guess you could say was acting a little strange.i did not say much to my hubby.so he may have felt that i was acting strange again.i might tell him that i don't feel comfortable talking to him when his dad is here.the reason for that is his dad and family seem jealous of me.like i mention about 2 weeks ago that when me and my kids are sleep at night,that his dad would talk to his son when he comes home from work.Otherwise,when we was up on a friday night and he saw that we was up(his dad),he went back in his room.

So i will keep my distance from when they talk.i feel its the best.i am trying to deal with my feelings.i will talk to you later.All Hugs to You.

November 3, 2004
7:39 pm
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hi Brownie, super busy day at work today for me. Just set your boundaries with your hubby and his dad...if his dad is in the room at the same time as your hubby, you can just wait till dad leaves, or you could ask your hubby that you need to talk to him in private. Do what is best for you, and everything else will fall into place.

I myself, am finding out that I want to take this new relationship slow...since I have been working late every nite and not seeing Mr Sweetie, I am fine with that, and from the beginning I did tell him I only want to see him once or 2x per week.....it wasnt until he started to like me more that he wanted to see me more, I can't do it though, I need this much needed balance, I am still working on myself to get healthy and maybe not ready to jump right into a big relationship, its only a few months, but i need to slow it down, and I am going to tell him this...I just need balance..and yes I am rambling now!!!

(((hope you have a good nite Brownie))))

hugs & support ...camer

November 4, 2004
6:14 pm
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Hi camer,good evening.i'm hoping you are okay.that your not so tired.i know you been very busy.work can wear you out.As for me,i was feeling depressed again.i will tell u later.you might be real tired,so i don't wanna talk so much and you are worn out.take it slow and easy.Hugs.

November 4, 2004
8:28 pm
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Brownie, you can talk anytime...and yes work all week has been busy, no time for anything, except rest for me,,,,and of course this website!!!
Please write whatever you may be feeling, cuz I log on each morn & a few times during the day and at nite.
Just start venting away

((((heres a bunch of hugs)))))) hope you are feeling ok & know that I do
care & my prayers are sent your way!

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