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BROTHER ISSUES
August 20, 2006
7:25 pm
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pearlseeker
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I should feel happy, but I am still worrying. I have been helping my brother for over 16 months. I helped him apply for
SSI and Mediicaid. Still waiting. He has been unable to work driving a cab since Feb. due to extreme fatigue. He claims he is too sick to work anymore. He is 53. My husband and I have been giving him money for rent. I have been driving him all over town for all of his needs. I should be happy because finally his govt. housing has gone through and I can move him in. His rent will only be $25 month because he is "disabled". No, he does not receive disabilty yet.

Why am I obsessed and worried? Because he will not even try to work. And my husband says he wants me to stop helping my brother and cut him off, so to speak, in two months. I am tired of taking care of my brother. It takes up all of my time and energy. I wanted to have this time in my life to do my own thing. I raised a family, ran a business, took care of my loving grandma for ten years, and now THIS time should be my time. I am 58. Am I being selfish???

My brother has lived his whole life in poverty since Mom died when he was 15. He became an alcoholic at 17...and stopped drinking a couple years ago when he became too sick to drink. We had little contact over the years. He is a loner. For the past 16 months I have done all I can to help him get back on his feet. I think maybe I have been a fool. He has been homeless twice in the past. He oftened did not work, even when he was "healthier".

What to do?? He does not know that in two months my husband wants me to leave him alone. My husband knows it is draining me. My husband is a very hard working man...and he has never liked the way my bro operates. He thinks he is a bum. Acutally, he IS a bum. But he is my brother.

HOW MUCH DO WE OWE OUR BROTHERS!!??! He is really sick...has a thyroid and heart condition. But, I do not want to be his caretaker. I want to take care of ME for once in my life. Am I wrong?

My brother only has to pay $25 a MONTH to stay in his gov't housing. Because I found it for him. I also got him food stamps. I have tried to get agencies to help him because he will not help himself, and I am tired of doing it.

He told me he does not think he will be able to come up with $25 a month!!!!????!! It is so little, but i RESENT that he wants me to pay it. But maybe I should until his disabilty comes through????? That could be 8 months from now.

I AM OBSESSING and WORRYING because this is so overwhelming. I should be happy, but I am worried that he will get evicted for not paying the $25 per month. And I have worked hours and paid countless rent bills for him. And it would alll be in vain. All lost. If he gets evicted. BUT IF I PAY, then I am still trapped.

ANY IDEAS??? I hope none of you have family like this. they drain you. He has been living in POVERTY for over 30 years....no car.....no phone....
Maybe I am a fool..I thought I could help, but when he said he may not be able to pay $25...I thought "What the HELL!!"

August 20, 2006
7:43 pm
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Is my problem unsolvable?????

August 20, 2006
8:00 pm
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Dear Pearlseeker,

I wish you did not have to feel so responsible for your brother. He sounds so damaged.

My mother died when I was 17. My sister 5 and 1/2 yrs older tried, I think, to fill in the gaps and really was good to me during my college yrs. She often helped me out financially. I think sometimes I may have taken her for granted, but thankfully I grew up by the time I married.

Now around your age, I find her very controlling and critical. I think we are both co-dependent types. I think she still thinks I am careless and reckless and needing to be "corrected".

When I was diagnosed with cancer nearly 5 yrs ago, I kind of lost all my focus and, well, I think I wanted someone else to take care of me. I see that now. My husband had always enjoyed my being a stay-at-home mom and when I began working fulltime we both had to pitch in with housework, etc. It was alot more to cope with. I am having trouble gearing up to go get back into the work world and have lost so much self-confidence.

I'm just imagining how much growing up your brother never did. A woman I know worked in a homeless shelter for a while -- she said she thought so many long-term alcoholics, in their thought processing and outlook, she felt that she could almost pinpoint what age they had begun drinking, because that is what age they still seemed to be. She would think "Oh you were about 13, or 20," you know? Just based on how they were still thinking.....I guess I'm suggesting that in some way your brother is still 15 and needed his mother so much when you all lost her.

You sound like a wonderful sister. You've done so very much for him when he wouldn't

August 20, 2006
8:02 pm
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whoops I sent without finishing!

I'm not sure how awful it would be to stop "helping", especially when you do not him to lose what you've already done.

August 20, 2006
8:03 pm
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Maybe if I had titled my thread 'WILD SEX ISSUES", I would have gotten a better response. Ha! Ha!

I will answer myself:

Girl, you need to just pay the $25 until his disability goes through or does not go through. You are being silly. You cannot let all your hard work go in vain! If he is denied disability, then you can change your mind if you want.

OR:

Pearl, what are you thinking??? You are definitely enabling your brother by paying the $25. Let him be a little responsible here! He cannot be that sick that he cannot come up wiith $25.

OR:

You are having a bad day. You feel overwhelmed because you have let his problems become your problems. Detach yourself. You can still help him, but on YOUR terms. Take it a day at a time.

Three different answers. BUT, I wanted someone who is not involved to come up with HIS OR HER opinion.

Because I am torn over this.
Because I am sick of it all.
Because I want my life back. I am 58. He will probably outlive me at this rate....

August 20, 2006
8:05 pm
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We are crossing posts. I'm trying. Bear with me.

August 20, 2006
8:07 pm
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pearlseeker
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Brynnie,
You are so right. He still acts 17.

Thank you for answering! As you can see, I got a little impatient and answered myself.

See, I am crazy, aren't I!

August 20, 2006
8:10 pm
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watergirl
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Pearlseeker,
Wow! Scroll down and read my thread titled "out of control crush and dysfunctional family" (aug 17 I think)
I can SO relate, although a different story.
My brother had a mental breakdown last fall and I instigated going to his state and saving him. The difference between yours and my situation (maybe..) is my brother and I are close, in friendship, but far away in location. He had been a hard working engineer and not in poverty. But he won't spend money on important things. So his house was the epitomy of a dump. Then he went missing, and I found him at home way drunk and suicidal (refer to thread..) and have since gotten to know who he really is more than ever now that he is living hardly a mile away.
And wow does he have problems.
Yes, it is so so draining. My brother, among many many things,( read thread) has some weird meiserly issue with spending money. It's so [email protected]#$ weird, he will walk 3 miles in pouring down rain, rather than ride a bus, and he has more in savings than I will ever ever have!!!!!!!!
I haven't found a "diagnosis" for this adversion to spending money so we call it "checkbook phobia"
So I have been paying a lot of his bills......it's a long story.....
Meanwhile, for YOU, I would suggest get counseling and work on yourself.
I realize your brother is family. And I've been going through a similar struggle, I am lucky to have a great husband,
One thing that really really helped get my brother's attention was a group session with a professional. (my brother, my sister, myself, and a counselor) We've had several meetings and it's amazing what can be said with a moderator.

August 20, 2006
8:10 pm
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It seems like $25 a month is like a sure guarantee that he won't end up on your doorstep and having to live with him!!!

Of course he should be able to come up with that much. If he had any pride in his own ability to take care of himself he wouldn't be in the state he is. Alcohol.

I'm so sorry the burden is on you. You SHOULD be able to just take care of yourself at this time of your life. You absolutely have a truly loving soul.

August 20, 2006
8:12 pm
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Yes, I have read a lot about alcoholism. I used to have a drinking problem myself...I used to self medicate with it. But that is another story.

I am so sorry you lost your Mom at such a young age, too. It is really hard.

I have helped my brother so much over the years...He would call every so often...every few years ... when he NEEDED something from me. It has always been one sided. He has never offered to help me or my grandma or anyone else. It is always about him. But alcoholics can be that way, I know. I guess I feel like he is taking too much from me this time.
I am older and resent him taking my free time and my money. Plus, it is still one sided. Plus, My husband is SICK of it all, and I cannot blame him. I am not myself at all anymore because I am so overwhelmed by my brother's constant needs.

August 20, 2006
8:14 pm
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sleepless in uk
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No I dont think you are crazy I completely understand your wish to keep your brother safe and help him all you can. The sensible thing would be to say you have done enough now let him get on with sorting his life out as your husband says but I just know in my heart that if it were my brother I would do EXACTLY as you are doing.

So no words of wisom...just an overwhelming understanding of why you want to help him.

I think Brynnie makes a lot of sense. I dont have advice for you but want you to know I really really understand where you are coming from. I always feel the need to look after my brother for all sorts of reasons that I dont really want to go into but I do know how you are feeling

take care of you too

love sleepless

August 20, 2006
8:17 pm
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Watergirl...you have had your hands full! Guess I am not alone here. You are lucky to have an understanding husband. My husband loathes my brother and everything he stands for. So I am in the middle. Yes, I have considered counseling. I may do just that!

Brynnie....thank you for your insight. I have to go now. I will be back on as soon as I can. Thank you for your kind remarks.

August 20, 2006
8:23 pm
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Pearlseeker,

I'm ging to re-post something someone else put out a while ago because, obviously, it really says it kind of like it is. Sorry if you've seen it before. It is a little chilling.

August 20, 2006
8:23 pm
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What Addicts Do

I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do.

You cannot nor will not change my behavior.

You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use.

When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered a sociopath. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.

Anonymous

August 20, 2006
8:34 pm
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Would you DARE give this to your brother, not to be mean, but to help him see how his behavior has affected you?

If you could just somehow touch an inner pride that he still has, that would get him to try harder, to be braver, to want to be proud of how he treats you. Can you say to him, "I'm not your Mom?"

August 20, 2006
11:31 pm
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I have said to him, "You are not my child. I am not going to continue to support you." I have let him know he has to assume some responsiblity. But his answer is always the same:

He says, "No one can make me go to work or do anything I do not want to do. I am unable to work because I am too fatigued. I cannot even take the bus much because that fatigues me."
"If you cannot help me anymore, then you are abandoning me. And it will not change my behavior at all. Because if I WAS ABLE to work, I WOULD work. But I cannot. I do not want to suffer anymore, so if you cannot help me anymore, then I wish someone would just put me to sleep."

He no longer drinks. He has not drank beer for two years. His health is shot. He has type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression. So, to give him the note about being an addict...well, I do not know if that really applies. I have let him know in a way how all this is affecting me. But he always says...do what you can. And if you can't, then you can't. It will not make me act any differently.

He always thanks me. But he acts like he expects it. My help.

I had wanted to help him originally. And all these months. But now that I have a roof over his head, and food stamps, I would really rather back out of all of this. I took care of my grandma for 10 years, but that was a two sided relationship. She gave, too. She was like a mom to me. My brother is a TAKER. It is all one-sided. And I am tired of it all.

Yu say I am a loving sister. But this loving sister wants to bail out. Ha! I do not like lying to my husband anymore either. I have lied to him about money I have given my brother for rent. Maybe I need to go back to work (I retired 4 years ago from running my own movie video store) and use my income to support my brother.

Want to hear something I am having trouble with?

My husband is a hard worker. He saved and saved and was able to finally buy a cadillac. He LOVES that car. Well, he does not want my brother in the car because my brother reeks of cigarette smoke. He also does not want me taking the car into the bad neighborhoods that I have had to go into to help my brother. I can't blame him.

SO, our friend has loaned me the use of his beater car until Oct. He drives it in the winter and stores his good car. So I take my brother grocery shopping, library, doctors, medicaid/business errands, all over town. WHEN I GIVE BACK THE CAR AT THE END OF SEPT. OR OCTOBER, MY HUSBAND SAYS I AM NOT TO DRIVE MY BROTHER IN HIS CADILLAC. HE HAS MADE ME PROMISE.

Wow.

My brother does not know this. It is just all a mess. I do not want to lie to my husband anymore. Because I understand where he is coming from.

So, you see. I am torn. I still need to help my brother for awhile. But the time is soon coming when I will be unavailable. I WANT to be unavailable. But I feel guilt, too. I just want my life back.

Sleepless in the UK...Brynnie...thank you for letting me get this off. It eats at me. Watergirl...I am going to read your thread now...

August 21, 2006
12:02 am
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Dear Watergirl< I read your thread.What a great thing you did saving your brother's life!! He is so lucky to have you. There is a big difference between your relationship with your brother and you and my relationship with my brother, I think. You say you two are very close. It sounds like a two sided relationship. Well, my brother has only contacted me through the years if he NEEDED something from me. I have given him money and help at different times in his life. He has never helped me...or just called to ask how I am. Our relationship is one-sided. Doesn't this make me co-dependent?????? I do not know if it is healty for me to continue the relationship? For it is hurting my marriage. It is horrible that I have to choose between my brother and my husband. I am truly torn on what the "right" thing to do is!!! Any ideas?

August 21, 2006
9:48 am
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Dear Pearlseeker,
I aggree that your brother is not like my brother. But one similarity is that pressure , or inner need (?) to help "blood" family. There are times when family may come first, but after reading your story I would lean toward your husband.
Thank you for your kind words by the way, which leads me to realize how special good husbands are. And if your husband blows a fuse over your brother and leaves, that would be too devastating.
I hate to use cliches, but "tough love" may be what your brother needs I was told in the begining of my brother saga to do nothing. this came from a veteran AA guy. he said my brother has to want to help himself. And that I should just let it go. But I didn'tlisten and intervened anyway and I'm glad I did. But after a while, my sister and I stopped paying his bills. We told him he needs to face responsibility....and he is now.
Anyway, back to your decision, I totally understand your wanting to help your brother. But I would say don't lose your husband over this. And by doing this, it may actually help your brother in the long run.

August 21, 2006
11:23 am
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You may be right. There are so many ways to look at this and that is why I am so confused.

I do not go to church, but I try to live the way Jesus would want...or God would want. Spiritualism is extremely important to me in the way I view life. So, I ask, would God keep helping my brother or would God say do what your husband wants?

You hit it on the head...that pull of blood family. And the pull of helping little brother. But where was he when all of his blood relatives needed him. My dad was afraid of him (because his drinking caused him to lash out at times in the past), he never called to see if our sweet grandma needed ANYTHING after grandpa died; etc. He has alwasys been selfisih and a loner.

My husband would never leave me over this. But do I not owe him my loyalty because he has been there for me for over 30 years. and he helped my Grandma for over 10.

But my husband is "healthy" and my brother is not. But my brother chose his unhealthiness...in his poor poor choices.

I will probably do what you did, watergirl, and eventually stop helping him. Maybe in two months since I will not have a car. What do you think about that....my husband taking away his car???? I guess I need to get my own car maybe...and a part time job so I can give my bro money if I feel the need to do so????

I am curious what you think of the car issue. My husband LOVES that car. It is his. His new toy. Ha! I need to respect that. I do understand. But in 2 months, I will no longer be able to see my brother. Unless I borrow someone else's car! Which...I live in the country...so, I won't be borrowing anyone's car.

I am under a lot of pressure. Thank you for giving me your ideas on what to do! It gives me different ways of looking at this PROBLEM. Thank you!

August 21, 2006
12:21 pm
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Good Morning Pearlseeker, I read your thread and I understand very much where you are coming from. I understand your pain. You have a very tough process to go through but it is really your own good to let go of your brother. You are not helping your brother even with all of the things that you have done for him.
My mother also died when I was 15. There are five of us in the family. The baby was a boy. My grandmother and the rest of us took care of him and each other. Now we are grown and my little brother being grown started drinking. My other sister was his crutch. She would help him even when he would get into trouble, help him with everything. I told her that she is going to have to let him face the music but she didn't. Now my brother is serving time. What can she do for him now? I have two sons that need me to be there crutch right now but I refuse to be that. I will support them but I can't decide the things in there life that is best for them. They are grown. They are going to have to learn to stand for themselves. If not then they already know that after this and they don't get there life together, then they are going to be homeless or living in a shelter. I love my brother and my sons but I refuse to spend my life in trying to take care of grown mens.
You have done all that you can do. You have done more then the average person who has help that person. I understand that your brother was hurt that your mother died but you also felt that same pain also but it didn't stop your life. You went on.
You can't be stuck in the past because of what happen to you. God is the one who decide our fate in life. That is why if we all felt that our life was not great coming up as childrens, then as an adult we are to change it ourselves. The time has come to get up and to live your life both you and your brother. Your husband has seen you go from trying to help your brother to enabling him. Your husband does not want to see you hurt and waste your life in trying to help someone who does not want to be help. It is not your problem that your brother has health issues. If he want to live then he will choose to live if not then it is still not your problems. I say this and will say this again. If you were not here anymore on this earth, then who would take care of your brother. You even said that he may out live you, then what. There is only two things that we as human have a choice, either to live or died. If you were sick, and laying in a hospital, your husband would be sick and in pain because his wife is sick. But your brother would be saying that my HELP is sick and there is going to be NOBODY to take CARE of ME.
Wean yourself slowly so that when that time comes for you to let go, put your brother in god hand and let god deal with your brother.

August 21, 2006
12:31 pm
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perhaps your bro feels he can't work because he doesn't HAVE to because everyone takes care of him when he whines about it.

in essence, you are enabling him to keep this up.

there ARE medical treatments for all of the problems you describe...and because he doesn't appear to be mentally handicapped, he should be able to manage his medical issues.

However, depression often causes someone to NOT care about their health issues.

I think he needs to sink or swim....tough love time....he sounds like he is attention seeking when he says that he wishes someone would put him to sleep.....kinda like someone threatening suicide.

I think 25 dollars is minimal, and while he may not be physically able to work outside the home, there are work at home options....but first he should get proper medical intervention....so he can feel better physically, so he can feel better mentally.

It's hard when someone so close is suffering, but at some point you need to make them accountable for their OWN problems....he isn't a child anymore.

August 21, 2006
12:42 pm
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Nappy, thank you for your message. I got choked up reading it..my God...

You are right. When my brother thinks of me, I represent HELP to him. But when my husband thinks of me, he sees and knows me. My children and grandchildren see and know me. So my final decision must be based on that. Not on how much my brother needs me. He is sick, but I will have him in a community at housing where maybe they can help him.

Thank you, thank you. Your advice makes so much sense to me. So why do I get sucked in so easily? It all makes sense in what you say. He is a grown man, and he is sick, but he is not on his death bed yet...so he should be able to do SOMETHING to help himself. He should be able to figure out how to come up with $25 to pay his rent and utilities, don't you think???

August 21, 2006
1:01 pm
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Rising from the ashes....I just read yur reply to me. I think there must be something wrong with him mentally. Because he has lived his whole life as a loner in poverty. Even when he could work, he drank up his money or would stay home until the money was used up...then go back to work. Lazy? Mentally off?

Yes, I am sure he is depressed. Anyone would be in his shoes.

I will be moving him in in the next couple of weeks. I am going to remember all of the advice and encouragement you have all given me. And I am going to find a way to detach. This will indeed force him to sink or swim. I may need to pay his $25 for a month or two...he is seeing
specialists in the next couple of weeks, too.

My husband gave me two months. I pray to God I can get my brother on the right path in these two months.

August 21, 2006
2:52 pm
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You get sucked in because you are human. You have a heart and you care. But don't let that caring get you off track with your own life. I know that it is hard. Especially with the ones that you love and the ones that you want there life to be alright but we are not god. We see there pain but they have to see it for themself also. Your brother is not mentally or lazy. He just found a way for him to depend on you and it was easy. You are depress because you are holding in anger that you want to express but is afraid to because you don't want to hurt your brother feeling. If you must pay the two months ahead of time, let your brother know that this is it for you. You are going to have to be strong when he have any feed back to you. Don't put so much pressure on yourself trying to get your brother on the right path for these two months,just tell him that this is the way it is and that he is going to have to help himself. Just think I am talking about my children. These are the same little babies that I cradle in my arms and wanted to protect them but time have past and now they are grown. The only solution that I can give them is they is going to have to want it. I didn't say that it was not going to be hard, because as you already know life is hard itself. To all of us. Nothing is never easy. It is time for you to live your life. We all will learn that lesson of life and I don't care how old you are. It will hit you, you just better hope that they get it now and now to late. But before we past away from the earth, I know that each person does get it. Early or later on in life.
You are a strong person, you just haven't found her yet but you will. Give up to god and don't fight him on this one. He is the one who knows and he is the one who knows us the best. At least you have your husband and he is trying to help you. It your time to enjoy your husband and you want to be there mentally for your grandkids.

August 21, 2006
3:55 pm
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Pearlseeker,
The car issue may be the catalyat that opens your brothers eyes. maybe not, but you will have a concrete reason to stop being his keeper. I'd say your brother should know that your husband wants you to slow down.
If you keep up the pace you are now you could end up physically ill. You are doing an awful lot, and your brother is letting you. I'm lucky in one big way, in that when my brother was hospitalized last fall, he was prescribed an antidepressant, (lexipro) which he still takes. I don't know what those pills do but they seem to make a huge difference in his state of "happiness". And they don't change who he is. I am not really a fan of prescribing pills for every little thing but maybe there are times when it's needed. But how to get your brother to a doctor to see if he could benefit??

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