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Broken Hearted
May 23, 2006
11:38 am
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2bstrong
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Hey there, reaching out...

Good to see that you posted. So, you had your daughter's party? I am sorry to sound chauvenistic, but that is a man thing to act like everything is ok, because he doesn't want to feel guilty for doing what he did to you! Jerk. The disconnection is a self-defense mechanism, because he doesn't want to feel like the heel that he is.

I think that you have to go through all of this sadness, love. It will turn into anger eventually, and YOU WILL be able to move on. It is important after being in a relationship for that long to grieve it. It is a loss, regardless of how crappy it was. I am the same way. My ex DID NOT love me at all. He didn't even say it to me once in ten and a half years. NOT once; and I still cry over him. I cried all day on Saturday because I miss things about him.

We have not lost everything--we have gained an opportunity to get back our self-respect. It takes time and hard work, because we don't want to feel badly anymore. You are not pathetic, either. I had to start all over from scratch with all of my friends because I let all of them go during my relationship with the ex. I have new and wonderful friends...it's only been a little more than a year...just try and be patient with yourself...you sound like a wonderful, kind, caring person, who is also a good mother.

You will be happy again....love to you--2b

May 23, 2006
11:52 am
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reachingout
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Thank you so much needed that.I think that another step I need to take is finding another job the one I have now offers nothing and I sit in an office by ny self a lot of thinking time but I think I need to be around people other wise I will never meet anyone and hopefully can meet and talk to people about things other than my screwed up life how want's to be around someone so depressed all the time...NO ONE I was just looking on the net maybe will try too do some on line courses if I can find something free or cheap my skills are are that sharp haven't had a desent job in bout 6 years need to take some computer courses it feels good to have someone to talk to but also hurts it has to be a stranger but thats ok you sound like a great person

May 23, 2006
12:11 pm
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nappy
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We will have hurt in our lives, if we didn't we wouldn't be human. But god didn't say that you will be stuck in that pain and that you can't move on. We can trust in another but we can't put that energy into trusting god. He is there for you even when other are gone. Look around you and be thankful that you are here. Here to do god work that he has plan for you.

DL- You can move. Don't let that devil tell you anything else. Dont' let the devil win, because the devil is a lie. You are a beautiful person and don't let the devil rob you of your beauty that god intended for you to share with other. Your life is not to live for other. You share your life but not your soul. Learn to forgive, heal your heart and you will see that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are not in the darkness, your are god child and he will bring you into the light.

May 23, 2006
12:34 pm
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2bstrong
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Hey reaching out...good for you, see, you are already thinking about how you can make the change work you. Just thinking about taking classes and getting a different job is showing that you have an interest in feeling better. I agree with you, too. I am not busy at work, I tend to overthink everything. It seemed that at first, all of my conversations with friends and family were about HIM and what HE did. I am grateful that I had people who would listen.

And you know, it's ok to talk about it. That's why this site is here. Talk about it all you want. And, please don't feel bad about it. This sounds so cliche, but you are not alone. We cannot have beginnings without endings. Pleeeassseee be gentle with yourself.

What are you cooking for dinner tonight? What else do you enjoy doing? Did your daughter have a good birthday?

May 23, 2006
12:42 pm
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2bstrong
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P.s. Those are good words, nappy.

May 23, 2006
12:53 pm
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reachingout
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I am making a taco salad that's my son has been wanting yes she had a great party I re-did her bed room for her painted it bright mint green she picked out got matching comforter,sheets,mounted her tv on the wall out of the way got her a water bed she wanted the whole 10 yards she was ready for a young lady's room it looks really good as far as the things I enjoy have no ideal have always done what my husband wanted to do when I was invited other than that never gave it much thought cuz I was taking care of the house I don't know anything about me except I love my kid's don't know that I've ever had any intrest I shoot pool but don't get to go do that much haven't really done anything this past year I just don't feel like it

May 23, 2006
1:03 pm
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2bstrong
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Oh, friend! How wonderful...in spite of all the heartache, you can still function! I STILL don't feel like doing anything...I mow the lawn and clean the house, but haven't been too much into doing fun stuff, cuz I just don't feel up to it. I was the same as you in that I ALWAYS did what he wanted to do, because he never liked anything that I planned...so it was just easier to go along with him. Control freak.

I love the color green, I was thinking of painting my kitchen minty green. Does it look good? It sounds neat. Wish I could come over tonight, as I love anything that's related to Mexican food.

You know, even if you didn't take online classes, the library sometimes has free seminars, and book clubs. Maybe you could get into something like that? I found a support group (al-anon) that meets at my neighborhood library and went a couple of times, and met some really nice people. My ex wasn't an alcoholic, but someone suggested that a 12-step program would help. It helped to listen to how other people were handling there situations.

I am terrible at shooting pool, but I did go to the golf-driving range the other day, and if felt good to swing the club and get out some frustration. I'm sore today.--2b

May 23, 2006
1:34 pm
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reachingout
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I wish you could join us tonight that would be nice.And yes her room looks good but it's pretty bright.I was just reading the site dating club.they all sound like they would be so much fun and even though in pain they seem to some what be enjoying themselves so maybe some day You know it's just a constant message you have to keep telling yourself and that is what seems to keep you from moving forward I just don't know

May 23, 2006
2:17 pm
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2bstrong
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I have done the dating sites, and to be honest, had a lot of fun. I dated altogether about ten guys through the four months or so that I had my profile on there. One of the ex's is from the dating site. I fell hard for him--he's the one that I absorbed like a sponge--looking for someone to fix my heartbreak. It was terrible when he broke it off...BUT...I started dating again, and kept it very casual...many, many, nice people. A couple of odd-balls, but I figured it made for good story telling.

I have met and been dating off-and-on a really nice guy from the site. He treats me so well, and sends me thoughtful and sweet messages. I am not ready to give my heart away yet, and I have told him that I am still heartbroken, but he is very patient, and we have good conversations...it helps alot.

You might want to give it a try...it doesn't hurt to look...and even if you just don't feel like going out, it is entertaining. Have you seen the movie "Must Love Dogs"? It's pretty cute about internet dating. She's just like us...

May 23, 2006
2:42 pm
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reachingout
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I have always been afraid I had a friend that meet a guy on one of th e sites after chating with him decided she didn't want to go out with him he almost distroyed her business I guess that can happen anywhere but I seem to shut down if anyone tries to get to close so I guess I'm not ready,And I worry so much about having a little girl at home. What ya gonna do

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