Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
broken heart, please help
January 6, 2007
5:31 pm
Avatar
torn_inside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I could write a novel, but I will try to keep it short. I hate my life and myself. I am 25 years old and I feel like my life is over. It all started 3 years ago when a man came into my life. We were good friends to start with. I had no interest or feelings for him because I knew how he was. I dated a guy very similar to him for 2 years before and promised myself I wouldn't go through it again. Both guys liked to party and had an issue with marijuana. I have no problem with those types of people, but just as friends. Well, this guy convinced me that he would change and be everything I wanted. I of course didn't want him to change for me, but if he wanted to change, to do it for himself. But he convienced me that I was the reason he would change. He was very dedicated to me, loved me with all his heart and more. He appeared to stop smoking for a year, but now I find out that he did it behind my back the whole time. After a year of our relationship, he started to openly smoke again. That tore me up, but I had already fallen completely in love with him. During the next year, I was actually trying to change him back to being sober, although he never truely was. Then he went to New Orleans after the disaster to help his uncle. Also, during our 2 years then, I put on a whole lot of weight. When he came back from the south, he broke up with me. I was heartbroken then too, but I knew it was my fault. I pushed too hard to change him, and I was changing myself. We were apart for 6 months, and I lost all the weight I put on and more. I am now very healthy. He then came back to me. He said that he just wanted to prove to me and himself that I was in love with him and he was in love with me. He is a very deep person, and I know my weight had nothing to do with the break up. The break up was about realization. So we got back together. For the first two months, things were very well. I feel like we are so on the same level, just soul mates. Then he had a friend that took his life. My ex really was affect strongly by it. He was never the same. About one month ago, he started to treat me differently. He was treating me more like a friend, but then he started to be mean to me. He put me down all the time, never physically abusive, but very verbally abusive. I finally confronted him about it. I asked him if there was someone else, because he was spending every weekend partying in another town. He swore there was no one else, it was just the friend that died that was bothering him. Then about a week later, he dumped me again. I didn't ask why, I just told him I wanted him to be happy again. I left. He contacted me a week later and we got together. He then confessed that there was another girl that he thinks he likes. It broke my heart because I was so good to him. He also promised me in the beginning that he would never cheat, because he had been cheated on and knew how it felt. That was the one thing I also adored about him was that he was very faithful to me. I know that he loves me very much. I was his first true love. When he told me about this other girl, he cried for hours, and I know it wasn't easy for him. I just want him to be happy, but it absolutely kills me inside. I love him so much, yet he hurt me so bad. I told him I would wait for him if he ever decided that he truely does love me, because I do believe that he does. Now I am having feelings like I can never be with him again, or anybody else because he broke me so bad. I am hurting so bad and feel like there is no point to living anymore. Please help me, I don't have anyone to turn to.

January 6, 2007
5:38 pm
Avatar
1lost1
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

torn, I am sorry you are hurting. A break-up is very hard to overcome. It is possible though. I am a true survivor of a devastating heartbreak.

My ex-husband was the love of my life, or so I thought. I have learned that with a little time there is life after the loss of a love. Mourn the loss because it is like a death. Feel the pain but don't dwell in it.

See yourself for who you are. Keep busy with whatever you can. Don't wait for him to decide if he wants to come back or not, move forward and if it comes to be then it will. Just keep moving.

1L1

January 6, 2007
5:43 pm
Avatar
ggfred4
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((torn inside)))I am so sorry you are hurting...We understand on this site about hurting, but we also understand that it doesn't last forever....I know that is hard to see of feel now....Personally, I want to say, get away from this person who is repeatedly hurting you, but that is your choice...but remember, you do have a choice no matter how hard it is... You do not have to hurt like this...Please believe this and believe in YOURSELF....take care.....

January 6, 2007
5:55 pm
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

DEAR BROKEN HEART,
GET OUT NOW!! you are either on your way or already in codependency.take it from someone who knows,if hes this miserable,early in the relationship,it will only get worse.i know your hurting but the longer you stay the more you will hurt.it sounds like he is setting a pattern with you.he is distraught& dumps on you.you understand&let him go.he feels better,then comes back to you.loving,healthy relationships are equal!!you give&recieve.you should both be having your needs met.it doesn't sound equal to me. you come across as a caregiver.i also am a caregiver.that is a very hard habit to break & eventualy,its how he will expect you to be all the time.you are so young and have alot of life ahead of you,dont give it away so easily.see a therapist,talk to friends,call a hotline or write to people here,but do not give away your precious life!!!

January 6, 2007
6:07 pm
Avatar
torn_inside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

chelle 08
funny that you should say that, because I was just reading about codepenceny and wondering if that was me. I do very much want to take care of this man, and he enjoys that I do take care of him, but one of the things he said to me when he left me again was that I made his life too easy for the past three years, and he needed to learn to do for himself. I only did everything because I thought he enjoyed that and it made him happy. I do think I need some professional help, but I am scared to ask for it or seek it out. Right now I feel like such a failure and so worthless. Thank you though for bringing the codepenceny up, because I will research it more now.

January 6, 2007
7:22 pm
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

TORN,YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!WHEN I SAY I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE,I'M NOT LYING.MY STORY WOULD TAKE FOREVER TO WRITE AND TO BE HONEST,I'M NOT UP TO IT RIGHT NOW.IT'S EASY TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE,WHO IS CODEPENDENT,SEEING IT IN YOURSELF IS MUCH HARDER.YOU ARE STARTING A JOURNEY DOWN A LONG AND PAINFUL ROAD,STOP IT NOW.I HAVE BEEN ON THAT ROAD FOR 23 YEARS!! YOU ARE STILL SO YOUNG,WITH SO MUCH TO OFFER.TAKE CARE OF YOU,NOW.THAT IS NOT SELFISH,ITS LOVING YOURSELF,SO THAT SOMEDAY,YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE IN A HEALTHY WAY. BREAK YOUR OWN PATTERN,LET HIM FIGURE HIMSELF OUT.WE CAREGIVERS,WILL GIVE&GIVE,UNTIL WE BURN OURSELFS OUT.AND YOU KNOW WHAT,HE'LL STILL BE SICK.GO GET THE BOOK "CO-DEPENDENT NO MORE" BY MELODY BEATTIE.ITS MY "BIBLE" AND HAS HELPED ME TO UNDERSTAND MY OWN ILLNESS AND OFTEN GIVES ME COMFORT.DONT BE ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP,IT TAKES SOMEONE STRONG TO ADMITT THAT THEY NEED IT.HUGS TO YOU,TORN

January 6, 2007
7:44 pm
Avatar
TryingToLetGoAndMoveOn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah...I know how that, "emotional roller coaster game" feels. He continues to go back to you, because...he KNOWS that you will take him back. He knows that, you don't think of yourself, enough to say: "f&ck this," and tell him right where to go, and how to get there.

He knows that, he has that type of "control" over you. Because, you don't think of yourself, enough NOT to allow it to happen. A woman with a healthy sense of self-esteem, would likely immediately, disassociate herself from him, no problem, because she knows that she deserves better then, what he's giving her. In other words, she would think enough of herself, to know that she doesn't want to "settle" for that type of mistreatment, because she knows that she deserves better then that.

I myself, personally, am only now on the beginnings of the path, of beginning to truly love myself enough to know that...if I happen to notice the type of a person that a man is, then...I won't take the risk of becoming overly deeply involved with him. Why? Because, I don't deserve the mistreatment, that I can foresee coming my way, as well, if I were to also become involved with him.

For example: My sister was involved with this man. And, along with what she had told me about him...(she had told me that, he had said things to her, to cause her to feel badly about herself)...I had also come to realize myself that...all he had basically wanted her for, was sex. And, once he had discovered how she performed in bed, then...he had seemed to become "obsessed" with me. And, he had also attempted to "lure" me into his "web" as well. However, I suspected that, if he were to sleep with me as well, then...he would likely just, continue the "pattern" with someone else. And, end up leaving me, feeling used and abandoned. So, I had saved myself a lot of uneccessary heartache, by being aware of his abusive behavior. 🙂 In other words, I didn't want to just "settle" for what he could give me. I wanted MORE then that. And, I knew that he wouldn't be able to give it to me.

Also...he had been the one to tell me himself, that...once he had gotten what he had wanted from me...then, he had allowed the comment to "slip" that...once he had gotten what he had wanted from me...then he could "move onto someone else, and begin to obsess about them." No, sorry, I wasn't having any of that!

So...I will pray that you will also be able to notice these things for yourself as well, honey. 🙂

Take care, and may you begin the powerful and fulfilling journey of self discovery! 🙂

Trying.

January 6, 2007
7:56 pm
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

TRYING,SOUNDS LIKE YOUR ON THE RIGHT TRACK,KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT!!!!

January 6, 2007
8:53 pm
Avatar
torn_inside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It helps me to know there are more people out there that have or have had similar feeling as my own. I really feel alone right now because most of the friends I did have don't really talk to me anymore because of him. They got sick of the heart breaking that I was going through. My best friend won't talk to me anymore and even if I did try to reach out to her, she would just tell me "I told you." These feeling are extremely hard to get over, and I know it will take time. I just feel like I don't have much time to waste. I just imagined my life to be so different by this age. I know you all tell me I am young yet, but I feel old. I also feel like I have know one to talk to because my problems are not other people's problem, and it took alot of courage just to try to find a group on the interent to talk to, but I knew I had to do something, because I could see myself falling apart quickly. I don't want this to be the end of my life, I do have too much to live for, but when I keep my feelings all bundled up inside, it is hard. It feels good just to talk to someone, and let it all out. There is so much that I could write about, but I hate the feeling of other people finding me boring. Thank you all for your help.

January 6, 2007
9:17 pm
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

TORN,BLESS YOUR SWEET HEART.YOU ARE NOT BORING.KEEP THIS IN MIND,OKAY,EVEN IF NO ONE ANSWERS YOU,STILL KEEP WRITING.DONT LET YOUR FEELINGS FESTER INSIDE. IT WILL BECOME A WOUND THAT NEVER HEALS.I SAID TO ANOTHER PERSON ON A DIIFERENT THREAD,TALK,TALK,TALK!!!ALSO,YOUR FRIENDS MIGHT NOT KNOW THAT YOU NEED THEM,REACH OUT TO SOMEONE YOU FELT CLOSE TO AND THINK YOU CAN TRUST.IF THAT DOESN'T WORK,LOOK FOR A 12 STEP PROGRAM IN YOUR AREA OR A CODA MEETING.THE HELP IS OUT THERE,JUST DONT GIVE UP. LOOK UP CODA ON THE INTERNET.THERE IS A SITE WHERE THEY GIVE MEETING PLACES,ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. PLUS...TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS NOT WASTED TIME,DONT OVERWHELM YOURSELF BY TRYING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING AT ONCE.BE PATIENT&KIND TO YOU!!!MAKE IT THROUGH THIS MOMENT,THEN THE NEXT,ECT...DONT THINK ABOUT TOMMOROW,TODAY IS WHAT MATTERS.MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU!!

January 6, 2007
9:31 pm
Avatar
doubleloss
Guest
Guests

torn_inside. this si a good place to be. Heartbreak hurts so bad and the pain and frustration and all that comes along with it is hard stuff to figure out. Read as much as you can on codependancy and abuse and allow yourself to feel everything. These threads are wonderful.

I've been going through my own bad heartbreak as well and it has been 6 months now. I'm still hurting but in the last 2 or 3 weeks the pain is a little less, the days are a little easier and I am getting a little stronger, but I tell you it has been hell.

Read the threads about NC (no contact), I suspect that would be extremely beneficial for you. I know this sounds like a big cliche, but you are young and the quicker you get healthy and loving yourself the quicker you will find that special person that will treat you with the love, respect and attention you deserve. Just be gentle with yourself while you are feeling like this. Write all you can.

January 6, 2007
9:48 pm
Avatar
missfixit
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Torn Inside,

Don't even think that you are boring for letting all this out. Keep talking until you can't talk anymore. It's the best therapy.

I know how you feel. My friend's stopped talking to me cause I wouldn't give up my ex. They all knew how he was treating me, but I wouldn't see it. After it was over, my true friends came back.
I still have some fences to mend there, one of my girlfriends is still angry and hurt because she helped me to get away from him, and again, I went back.

My ex liked to break up, and then see other women, so I couldn't call it cheating. To me, it was still cheating. He didn't love me enough to just be with me. He said he did, but the things he did proved otherwise. Once, they cheat and get away with it, it is a green light to do it again, and again.

He is still trying to get me to come back. We haven't spoken in a month and a half. But, he tries sending emails, and thinks I should forgive and forget and take right up where we left off, with no questions asked.

My story is long also, and it started here. So, I wont give all the details.

But, I do feel better. It is still hard to block his emails, but I do it. He's tried 4 different ways of sending. All 4 blocked.

If you want to heal and move forward, the best thing for you to do is, have no contact with this guy. Don't answer his calls, or see him.

And, don't feel alone. I have been through this so many times. My kids are older than you.

January 8, 2007
2:06 am
Avatar
torn_inside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

ok, so I have a few questions about co-depenencey, if anybody can help me understand, I would be grateful. After doing a little research, basically, Am I addicted to him?? I do feel lost because I can't "take care" of him. Then I kinda realized that I seem to "take care" of everybody. I always thought that was a good trait to have.
Then, if I "fix" my codependency problem, can I continue my relationship with my ex, if he deceides that he does want to be with me. I really don't think he has done anything wrong to me. A lot of people tell me that I am just being blind to him hurting me, but now understanding codependency a little more, what if it is me that is the problem, and if I get help and get better, then I could be in a relationship with him again, maybe? I do sincerely believe that this man does love me, maybe is not in love with me, but loves me. I also think that he needs to discover himself and find a happiness with in himself. He would often tell me the same thing, but I was convinced that his happiness was my happiness. I always felt so good if he was happy.
My next question is about the "no contact" rule. My ex sent me a text tonight saying that he misses me and he hopes all is well with me. I didn't get back to him right away, but after about 4 hours, i couldn't do it anymore and had to write him back. I just said that i missed him too. I don't think he is trying to mess with my head. I think he just wants me to know that he is thinking about me on a friendship level. But of course I always have them high hopes that he is wanting me back. Anywho, so with co-dependencey, do I have to cut all contact with him in order to get better. I don't want to lose him as a lover, much less as a friend. If I quit talking to him, he is going to think that I hate him, and just forget about me.
If anyone has the time to help me understand this all a little better, I would appreciate it.

January 8, 2007
2:53 am
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Hi Torn,

Some things in your story are things I've been through too. Like some other posters, I hope you find your way out of the rollercoaster your are on with this guy before it consumes even more time in your life... so many of us have let too many years slip by in similar situations. And some of those situations get worse as time passes, not better. But I will not tell you what to do. It is best that you take it a little at a time, continue the way you are... coming here and reading what so many caring people have to share with you. Reflecting on your experiences. You will arrive at making your own decisions.

I'm a little gunshy right now about responding to people in need, my sister is having problems and is mad at me because of some misunderstanding we had. Apparently things did not go very well and I'm still reeling from it. So I feel a little inhibited, even on this site when people are looking for responses... but I'll give it a shot because your situation struck a chord.

My ex, whom I broke up with LAST January- that's 2006! STILL tries to call with various excuses. If I have my wits about me, I either don't answer or I hang up, or get off the phone as fast as I can. But sometimes, I get caught and sucked in by his opening greeting. This maybe why he still hangs on. In our case, it's not because he still loves me. He is a drug addict and most likely wants something besides me or my company. So I'm not comparing my story to yours in that respect. Although, I must add, he too always "misses" me, "still loves" me, "worries about" me, etc... Is this true? I don't know. I doubt it, but even if it WERE true, it just hurts to hear it because it's over and kicks things back up. It prevents me from moving on. So I cut him out.

The truth is, even though I broke up with HIM, the hurt feelings run more deeply on my side- so no contact is more necessary for me than him. He always has something to gain from continuing our relationship... even if it's something as innocent as friendship. His "friendship" can only hurt me (too much has been said already). I will only get hurt over and over. So I need no contact. Maybe your situation is a lot different, but this is an example.

YOU have to decide where to draw the line, IF to draw the line, etc. It took me many false starts... and there are things I still will not do. I refuse to change my phone number and inconvenience myself. I'm hoping my ex will come to his senses, but I think he's a little unbalanced- so I'll just have to deal with it until he disappears some other way. Everyone's experience is unique, and yet we have similarities to share. But I believe people have an emotional threshold for pain. When it becomes too much, or your tolerance for certain behaviors begins to wane, sometimes you decide you want no contact. Or no contact "sticks" longer, or for good finally, when it didn't last before.

I'm not saying your boyfriend doesn't love you, or making an assessment of your situation at all... but I think you will become better at doing that yourself especially since you are here talking about it. Then, if there is something to be salvaged... it stands a chance. If not, then you will learn the coping skills to help you learn to deal with it. It's very hard to lose a boyfriend, expecially the friend part. And sometimes it is extremely difficult to decide when and if that is a necessity. Will you be able to be friends with a man you were once in love with? Is this what you want? It's hard, but some people can do it.

I hope what ever you decide, that it brings you peace.

-ella

January 8, 2007
10:09 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

torn,
I would suggest you read all you can about co-dependency and how to stop that destructive behavior.
You seem to be only focusing on him, your thinking of "if I fix my co-dependency can the relationship work". After you have really looked into this issue of co-de and understand how un-healthy that is to you, hopefully you'll be saying "why would I want this relationship to work".
Your co-depentant behavior of "needing to take care of" backfires and codies don't understand why until they learn more about themselves and about why this behavior is so promenant.
It sounds like your boyfriend wanted a girl friend, not a mother, not someone who was attempting to fix him or change him, that's just not a requirement of a girlfriend or a wife or anyone for that matter.
Many woman fall in love with men's potention, they fall in love with the man they think he could be instead of who he really is.
If you love someone you love THEM, not the person you think they could turn into.
Many codies have an image of what love and relationships and marriage are all about, often it's a fantasy type of thinking and when they are not living that image then they attempt to change, fix and create what they have invisioned.
Often codies are like dogs with bones, they never give up on a relationship because they still feel they can FIX IT, CHANGE IT and do what ever they can to make it work.
Often it's the most un-healthy relationship they hold onto the hardest, as if to say, I will never give up, I will make this work and I will win and get the relationship of my dreams, even at the cost of my own well being and emotions. They accept what ever little crumbs there love decides to feed them, usualy just enought to instill false hopes so the codie remains a part of their life some how.
By the time most codies understand themselves and understand what is healthy and what is not the person that love of there lives has moved on.
An Ex is an EX for a reason, if it didn't work the first time around and neither one of you received counseling or therapy for behaviors that caused the break up, then why would a second chance or a third or fourth chance change anything???
It's a cycle of dysfunciton and will continue until one of you finaly says NO MORE.
And at this point, why would he be the one to end it for good, when he feels like taking you back, your there ready and willing. He tires of you and the relationship, he ends it knowing when ever he feels like it, you'll be there.
This is not love and you need to understand and more important accept that. Through co-dependency meetings and readings and posting here, hopefully you will learn that and be better prepared for a much healthier relationship in the future.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

January 8, 2007
8:55 pm
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

DEAR TORN,SOMETIMES,CO-DEP. ARE SO INSECURE & UNSURE OF THEMSELFS,THAT THEY "SMOTHER". MEANING...LOVING AND GIVING SO MUCH OF YOU TO ANOTHER,NOT ENOUGH TO YOURSELF.BY CHANGING YOUR OWN BEHAVIORS,YOU OFTEN SEE PEOPLE REACT TO YOU DIFFERENTLY.ALSO,ONCE YOU START TO CHANGE,YOUR NEED FOR HIM MAY CHANGE.YOU MIGHT FIND OUT THAT YOU DONT WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM OR JUST BEING FRIENDS IS ENOUGH.IF YOU LOOSE HIM WHILE YOUR "HEALING",THEN HE PROBABLY WASN'T WORTH HAVING TO BEGIN WITH.TAKE YOUR TIME,THERES NO RUSH.YOU DIDN'T BECOME WHO YOU ARE IN 1 NIGHT,YOU WONT HEAL IN 1 NIGHT.I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU,EVEN JUST A LITTLE.GOOD LUCK

January 8, 2007
11:02 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

atalose-

Those are some wise words. Somehow, maintaining this image of your significant other as someone other than he is makes it more likely the relationship will be prolonged no matter how extensive the problems become... because you are loving an ideal not the real person. A destructive phomenon. It's very hard to tell the difference between real and ideal at times. It's hellish to get out of these situations and if you don't learn to examine your motives, it can be damn near impossible. A good support system is necessary.

January 14, 2007
12:17 am
Avatar
torn_inside
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

So, I bought 5 books on co-dependency, I have read them all, but still having problem about my ex. I still feel like if I fix myself, then we can maybe be together again. I don't know. One thing I am having trouble with is where do I even start to look for my "true self?" One thing that I have realized is that I didn't come from a "dysfunctional" family in the tradition sense, but from a family that wants perfection more so. I hide alot of things from my parents because I am affaid they will reject me if they know the truth. I think that maybe a big thing my ex had a problem with as well. I never wanted him to "be himself" in front of my parents, but I encouraged him to be the "fantisy" guy that I created for my parents. I accept and love him for who he is, but I absolutely am sure that my parents would not, and make me choose between the two of them. I am having some issues with this and I feel like I should tell my parents the truth about everything, but I am still very scared of the rejection that I am almost positive they will give me and they will try hard to change me. I do tons of things just to "please" them too, and I almost feel like the first step to get out of this co-depedency would be to come clean with them. But I am very scared, but I don't think I will ever truely be who I am if I don't. Any comfortating words out there for me. Would I be doing the wrong thing to tell them?? Thank you.

January 14, 2007
4:44 am
Avatar
chelle08
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

DEAR TORN,I THINK YOU HAVE STARTED TO ACCEPT THAT YOU MIGHT BE,BASED ON WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN,A CAREGIVER.IT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE YOUR A PEOPLE PLEASER.THOSE ARE BOTH SYMPTOMS OF CO-DEP. YOU HAVE TO TAKE BABY STEPS:ALSO ONE STEP AT A TIME. YOU CANT "FIX" EVERYTHING AT ONCE.ALL YOU WILL DO IS STRESS & OVERWHELM YOURSELF.THAT LEADS TO QUITING. YOU HAVE ALREADY TAKEN YOUR 1ST STEP,BELIEVE IT OR NOT. READING THOSE CO-DEP BOOKS,MEANS YOU FEEL YOU HAVE AN ISSUE AND ARE READY TO START MAKING CHANGES. GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK,YOU DESERVE IT!! MAYBE YOUR NEXT STEP MIGHT BE THERAPY.THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOUR CRAZY,YOU JUST NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND HELP CLARIFY THINGS. I THINK YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL MAY BE TO CARE MORE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOU AND LESS ABOUT HOW OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU.P.S. AS A PARENT MYSELF,ALL I WANT IS WHATS BEST FOR MY KIDS. THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M PERFECT OR THAT I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.NEITHER DO YOUR PARENTS. IN THE END,YOUR THE ONE WHO REAPS THE REWARDS OR PAYS THE CONSEQUENCES,FOR YOUR CHOICES.DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOU.I HOPE THIS HELPED.GOOD LUCK!!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714257
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information