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broke the connection-finally
March 15, 2006
3:48 pm
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Anonymous
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March 15, 2006
3:50 pm
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i have been married almost twenty three years . my h moved out last tues. over a week ago. yyyyeeeaaa!!! met my mom for lunch today. guess who i passed eating with a girlfriend, . i could care less. had a good lunch. the most liberating experience of my life. .....i just can't explain it. but i am mentally free......

March 15, 2006
4:10 pm
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LotusTampa
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YAY for you guppy.

It's good to finally be detached, isn't it?

Do you think we just finally reach a point where we say "F it!"?

I think that is where I finally am...and the fact that I've finally gotten my self-confidence back.

I'm glad you are in a good place. Great for you!

Love,
Lotus

March 15, 2006
4:25 pm
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nvr2late
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oh my! You say that was not rough...
I am scared of the day that I see my stbx and a girlfriend, I THINK I will be ok, but I wonder.
It is nice to know that you are ok, I will draw strength with that!!
and I have no connection with him either!

stay strong!
nvr

March 15, 2006
4:59 pm
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on my way
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guppy....good for you, glad you are doing ok about all of it!

March 15, 2006
6:52 pm
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it only took me twenty three years of a not right marriage from the get go. alcholholism on his part. lots of adultery. abuse, neglect. no sex for six years.....yep it was easy as pie;) lotus, i think i said f-it six years ago.....
love yall,
gup

u know u are over it, when the first thing i thought when i saw his girlfriend was )poor idiot, but better her than me!!!!

March 15, 2006
7:02 pm
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and there was a time he would of did this i would have been freaking out , bawling over him, feeling incomplete, but for some reason i am so peaceful. could be because the other half of me is right here in ME!!

March 15, 2006
8:12 pm
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Guppy, I can so relate to your feelings of relief. I was married for 18 years, and when we separated, I knew I had done all I could (years ago), and would not be back.

I thought of it this way: My marriage had died a loooooooong time ago, and we had just postponed having the funeral. I never looked back, never had a regret about the divorce (except I hated it had to happen to my children). It was such a relief to be free of that loveless marriage. I literally got a second-chance, and I have not shed one tear over him. I often wonder if I ever really loved him, because I was so numb by the time it was over, I couldn't recall ever having a loving feeling for him. I "cared" about him, but I was definitely not in love with him.

You will do fine! I know how miserable you were from your posts. Take care and concentrate on YOU now! You deserve it!

Love, plz~

March 15, 2006
9:18 pm
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thank u please. yes , u know how i feel. i appreciate the support. 🙂

March 15, 2006
9:26 pm
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Right on Guppy!

Being mentally free means you'll have energy for yourself.

And change is your middle name by the sounds of it.

"Liberating" sounds like freedom, so spread your wings and soar girl.

You've given yourself a second chance and you go girl.

I left my husband of nineteen years (we had dated for five years before we married) and honestly have hardly ever looked back. I have become my own person, someone whom I like and who is real, and more fully alive. I still have a lot of things to learn about myself, and to accept the positives and negatives
yet I have learned that if I don't love myself and take care of myself, no one will!

March 15, 2006
9:46 pm
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thank u littlespirit. oh i didn't plan this. i just got tired of sitting in one place. just by living and laughing i threaten h big time. i am letting my answering machine catch my calls right now. what is it with people, that once they realize u are through, all of a sudden they come out of the wood work and want to tell u all kinds of stuff i dont care to know???? i mean, like really.

i dont plan on filing. going to just take one day at a time. i want him to feel like he is superior and he is doing it to me. so, i am going to lay low, keep my mouth shut and stay busy out of town.

how it came about is i went out of town to have eye surgery and i got back sat. but i went to a town over and stayed with one of my best friends for two days. we all celebrated my success. i came dragging in mon. night and he gave me a lecture and the next day he left. the funny part is he never called me once the whole time i was gone and quite frankly calling him never crossed my mind. i think this is called he can dish it out but he just flat can't take it. yyyaaa hhhhooooo!!!!!

March 15, 2006
10:20 pm
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LotusTampa
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guppy...you crack me up woman!

i especially like the yyyaaa hhhoooooo!!!!

i remember when i was going through major issues with my ex-husband and our daughters, i finally let him think he had all the power...i just basically gave up...and things got soooooooooooooo much better!

i think you should throw out a few more "you know you're better when.." one-liners. you always had some great ones!

March 15, 2006
10:33 pm
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lotus-if he comes by and wants to play i think i will slam my hand in the door so i can shed a few tears and really egg him on....;) evil aren't i?!

thank u so much for the compliment. that was a one nighter. i have to be in a crazy mood and the stuff just rolls out. i'll see what i can do.....i always act crazy late at night anyway. don't know why.....

March 15, 2006
10:37 pm
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right now i am busy trying to outplot and outploy the evil one.....and make him think he did it....stressing my brain to the max.
it's blow a bubble pretty soon and i will be on a roll....promise.....

March 15, 2006
11:40 pm
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Dear Guppy,

If its really over for you let go. I speak from experience here. Muster all the strength you have and then some and no matter what don't return his calls. Set the one you love free and if he comes back a genuinely changed person you may reconsider or... maybe you will have moved on.
Ending a relationship is almost like ending an addiction. You know its not good for you and yet you are used to the emotional turmoil, the chaos, and the making up. They don't call it getting a fix for nothing. And when a relationship is broken you cannot fix it.
Get him out of your system. If you really want to you can. This is going to take you as long as you are willing to let it

On the other hand just stop torturing each other ...life is too short to play games and try to make any one feel anything. Take care of yourself in a good way

March 15, 2006
11:46 pm
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little-it's a long story. not playing with him. just want him to feel like he is winning. can't explain it any better.

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