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Breakup Rant - Advice Please!
June 26, 2012
3:54 am
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topday
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June 26, 2012
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It’s been really only 3 month since my ex moved out but it’s been 6 months since we split. He slept in own room and I slept in the other room. We didn’t hug, kiss or share any love since Jan. The relationship more or less had ended months and months before the start of the New Year but we couldn’t or didn’t want to say it!

It was me that brought it to light and then it all kick off. I was so unhappy coming up to the end and felt so alone. The hardest thing for me is that I miss my best friend. I just miss the little things you know and I miss looking after him and knowing when I need to cry, laugh and share my happiness or sadness he is no longer around to share all this with and also vice versa as he would text me saying I am having a bad day at work and will I collect him after work – I loved this as I loved making him smile.

We spent 6 yrs together and these 6 years for sure where not easy I can tell you that. We are both from different backgrounds him Italian small family and me Irish large family – but I think that’s why we fitted so well and why we knocked heads at times. Other things happened 2 yrs back when he was with someone behind my back which really broke me and I think I stopped fighting which is a massive reason for the breakup. I gave up on us! I forgave him but something changed in me.

I am not sure why I am here today on this forum but I think it’s for some advices as I am finding it very hard , I want to make sure we are doing the right thing by moving on even though I believed he was the love of my life and he said the same about me. I asked him on a date 6 weeks ago and she said no that he needs time to think and decide. I completely understand this and didn’t say a thing however my fear is what if he doesn’t follow his heart due to fear or making a mistake… BUT having said all that when I asked him I knew it wasn’t right as I didn’t feel a 100% honest. I knew I wasn’t sure myself.

He told me to move on, date, and find serenity which I am sure was hard for him.

I was told by a friend that love is the easiest part and that the relationship is the hardest part and that if only one fights for the relationship it will never work even if love is still with you.

I was told by a friend that love is the easiest part and that the relationship is the hardest part and that if only one fights for the relationship it will never work even if love is still with you. You know I am a fighter and I love so much BUT I am not sure if he was worth the fight and I am not sure I know how to fight through this pain of missing him as the love is still very strong.

I just needed to get some of this off my mind as it's driving me mad...

One thing I do know is that i always knew he never smiled at me the way I smiled at him.. All I had to do was think about him and I'd feel warm and love for him, proud too!

If you managed to read this rant and want to give some advice please do as I love to hear from you.

June 27, 2012
3:23 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Is there a way for both of you to stay platonic friends and for you to find someone more compatible for you for a relationship that is serious? I mean it sounds like you gave so much and that you loved this guy very much and that he did not reciprocate your feelings. It sounds like you were always there for him but that he did not make that kind of an effort for you or at least does not want to do that for the long term. You deserve to have someone with you that cares for you equally, that you can trust. Someone who will be honest and caring & will share good and bad times with you.
It's o.k. to continue to be your ex boyfriend's platonic friend, but I think it would be a big mistake for you to go backwards and start dating him again.

One Day

July 7, 2012
3:17 am
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Curtis Baker
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Four years before I too faced this problem but now I can say that it was my mistake that I take it as my own.

September 11, 2012
2:23 am
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ShiningLight
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It might be best to give yourself time and space. On the other hand, move on. I know it won't be easy but since your relationship has already ended then it's time to totally let go of him. Yes, you can be good friends if you want to but you can never deny the fact that you were lovers once in your life. So for you to move on, time is all you need. You can choose to forget the past as it can help you face the present and future more lighter. It's all up to you. Just make sure your decision is wise enough. Wishing you well.

September 16, 2012
5:35 am
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OneFoot
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ShiningLight said:

It might be best to give yourself time and space. On the other hand, move on. I know it won't be easy but since your relationship has already ended then it's time to totally let go of him. Yes, you can be good friends if you want to but you can never deny the fact that you were lovers once in your life. So for you to move on, time is all you need. You can choose to forget the past as it can help you face the present and future more lighter. It's all up to you. Just make sure your decision is wise enough. Wishing you well.


Thank you ShiningLight for your wisdom and compassion on this forum.  It's obviouse you care about people.

September 16, 2012
10:36 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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As always, letting go of someone dear to your heart due to circumstances is bitterly hard.  True love is true love.  While days go by and you learn to cope with not talking to or seeing the person, you never stop remembering what held you together as friends.  It's that something that you cannot explain to others no matter what words you use.  It is really painful and it does continue.  You push it aside, you do what you must in your everyday life, you sigh, you cry, but it does hurt quite a bit.  Some days much more than others.

 

You wait & you  wonder if maybe someday the other person will have the courage to come forward or if that person never even felt what you did & was simply using your good nature.  You figure it can't be true that they felt what you feel and felt and don't even miss talking to you or seeing you.  Maybe they figure it's better to leave it alone because being friends makes it harder for both people.  Who knows?

 

You hope that they are happier now.  You hope that something good came from the relationship that once was.

 

Hard to know if you will ever meet someone as wonderful or dear to your heart or whether you will even be able to let go of the other person who still has such a big place in your heart.

 

One Day

September 16, 2012
11:54 am
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Jacob Scott
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Bev that is so nice of you to compliment shining light like that!

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