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breaking up? When is it ok?
May 4, 2009
6:47 pm
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1_vulnerable_dame
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September 24, 2010
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Hi,
This is really my first time coming to you all with my problems. I'm confused.
I met this guy, it was all terrific, he moved way too fast though. I was very cautious,wary even about my feelings as I am co-dependent(in counseling)lots of abuses of different types as a child. We hit it off good cause he was broken too,addiction issues. I could accept him as i dabble myself.We seemed to have been together every day from the time we meet. Then as got more secure in the relationship he flipped the script and became overbearing and unbearale. I feel bad because I feel if you love someone you have to stick it out n see what happens but I with my own issues could not deal with the withdrawl of his affections, intensifing the whole situation. Somehow I equate affection n sex simotaniously with love. goo figure? I feel bad like I gave up but the behavioral patterns we were begining wernt healty, or did he just want me to do the breakin up to save my feelers??? Help! What do I do now? am I broken will I ever truely find stability? I truuely desire to be loved and give love. I'm just scared to fall into a disfunctional lifestyle. Please advise.

May 4, 2009
6:54 pm
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CAMER
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September 30, 2010
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sounds like you are listening to your gut instincts!! and setting boundaries for yourself...i think this is all "good"!

As you got more secure in the relationship, he flipped out! that is not your problem...he probably got scared.

Don't feel bad, feel strong and proud, you even knew the relationship was moving too quick, it was a sign that you saw.

You are setting good things for yourself. Now next relationship take things super slow, let things build and you will do fine!!!

May 4, 2009
7:01 pm
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1_vulnerable_dame
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thank you so much for your advice I was kinda feelin like it was right cause I'm only the sadest cause I gotta get it right one day. right? Thanks again .I like you guys.

May 4, 2009
7:10 pm
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PreciousG
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(((One_vulnerable_dame)))

I am glad that you found this site and felt comfortable in posting. I can feel your pain and desire for help in your post.

First things first. You have to get help with your addiction and peerson issues.

Secondly, he has addiction issue thus you do not know who you are truly dealing with. Meaning, who knows what his true feelings are. He may not even know. You can't be certain why he was he flipping. It may have been because of the drugs or alcohol ect or some other issue? People just don't flip for no reason at all. Something is going on.

Unless and until you both get help to resolve your own issues nothing is going to change. Also, unless and until you both deal with your own issues neither of you really know what you are truly feeling.

I know this may sound harsh and is very blunt but you seem to be in pain and want help and the only way that I see do provide that is to be straight up with you.

Wishing you all the best.

PreciosuG

May 4, 2009
7:31 pm
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1_vulnerable_dame
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thanks precious youare right about that I am currently attending a cunseler and just completed a year of weekly testing to deal with my issues but I was afraid that if I stayed in a relationship with another user it may not end pretty. the filpping part is that he went from actively persueing me to the point of distain. I dont want to be judgemental though considering my past. I belive everyone deserves a second chance but when it comes to the point of calously disregarding my feeling I got really nervous. I ran as quickly as tact would allow.

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