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breaking codependency
October 19, 2007
1:12 pm
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Married 25 years,5 children and have fought during ll those years. Language between us in front of kids was horrible and no
attempt for us to hold back.
We have not shown any sort of love such as compliments to each other,hugs,kind words,etc.according to family and friends. We were constantly at war.
We have separated around 4 times in the last 7 yrs.The last time being well over a year. We did not get divorced but both have been to attorneys. Both have threated to get on with it. Nothing done. I have contantly said I am fine with it and have told everyone I don't love her and I can't live with screaming and cursing anymore.
Our relationship has been getting out of control lately. Even though I have told her to meet someone as I have now I can't stand the thought of it. I went to a doctor who told me we were codependant and our marriage will never work, This is the second doctor. The first said we both were too hostile for each other and it will never work.
My problem: I feel I really love her and I know it can't ever work as we have tried. I can't let her go and go nuts and hostle if she sees someone else. She says she wants to go back and has always loved me. This story is played out the same way our whole married life. I know this but I can't help. I know going back will end with the same results. How can I love someone who I cannot be happy with.

October 19, 2007
1:26 pm
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

mayeb you are comfortable, being married 25 years is a long time, and sometimes get used to a "person" being there, and being around.

Of course it will hurt if you end your marriage and your wife see's other people, that will be painful,
its all part of the breaking up process.

Do you still want a divorce, now knowing you are both Coda & maybe work on yourselves then see how you work together as a couple?

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