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break away???
February 3, 2005
12:05 pm
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atllanta
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This is my first post. I hope I am doing this right.

Question - HOW does one stay away? Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend (if you can call him that) of 11 years. He is not good for me on so many levels. He has lied about the MOST basics of things (like his name, where he grew up, his past AND current relationships,) his failure to pay me back THOUSANDS of dollars, verbal and mental abuse, I could go on and on but I think the point is made.

The problem is I break up, get to missing him, and go back. Sometimes the break ups are a week but never more than a month.

I once read that if you don’t want your daughter to date this type of man, then why are you? Yet I get to missing him and there is such an ache, deep inside my heart, a longing for him inside my soul. I must be nuts because I KNOW he is no good for me. On the nights he is with his “friend with benefits” it just breaks my heart. I question why he would want to be with others yet I always go back.

Is there any help for me?

February 3, 2005
12:09 pm
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Anonymous
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There is help, but a lot of it comes down to just self control and doing something even though it hurts, carrying through with it anyways because you know that is what is best for you. THis is just the day after as well so give yourself a little credit, it will hurt and suck and you will feel it but it will also get better.

In all honesty this guy sounds like some creep that probably has some criminal history.

February 3, 2005
2:43 pm
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kathygy
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Right a list of all of the reasons you should stay away from this man. Put on the refrigarator. Everytime you have the impluse to go back to him read the list. Nothing will change. He will continue in his destructive ways with you no matter what. Make a committment to yourself to stay away forever. You are paying too high of a price to give into those longings. He isn't worth it. Give yourself priority and love yourself enough to stay away.

February 3, 2005
3:20 pm
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CAMER
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i agree with all of the above...and wow 11 years is a long time!! try to stay alone and know you are worthy, this man owes you money and treats you badly, right there that is a huge red flag!! just know you are not alone, try reading some Coda books by Melody Beattie and some Coda meetings logon to: http://WWW.CODA.ORG doing all this and posting here will make you feel stronger and healthier and can help you get thru that one month slump b4 trying to go back to him. Keep posting, ok!!

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