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Boyfriend Got BUSTED for Lying!!
August 21, 2002
7:48 pm
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GiGi
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We've been going out for one year. Our communication has been going downhill for no reason. I decided to call him to talk about our communication problem, but failed to reach him for a few days. I went to his house and found out his car wasn't EVEN there. Distraught and fed up. Next day, I headed to his work and told him in person that I have an emergency (**to get his attention**). He agreed to meet me after work. He did and first thing I asked him "Where were you last night?". He said at his Aunt's house for supper. "What time did u get home?" I asked. He said around 9. I started to cry a little and he asked me what's wrong. I told him he's lying. All of sudden, he yelled "I'm telling you the truth. Honesty!" over and over again. Boy, he was a good actor. I then told him that his car wasn't at his home. You know what he did? His face was beet-red and his hands cover his face! "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU CHECKED ON ME!!!!" he said it often. I was in totally shocked that he actually LIED to me! Also, another problem we're having is that he NEVER invites me over to his church and I repeatly asked him often "Why won't you take me to your church?" His excuses are: people in church are very conservative about me being a divorced lady, and that I don't hear well (I'm hearing-impaired). I finally asked him one more time today and he refused to answer me. On recent Sunday, I popped in at his church and he was shocked. He treated me like i'M his girlfriend (holds hand, introduce me to everyone, no plm). I JUST DON'T GET IT AND I'M GOING INSANE!!!!!!!! I'M ABOUT TO SCREAM! I DON'T UNDERSTAND - HELP!

August 21, 2002
8:15 pm
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Squeezles
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Why is it important for you to go to his church? Because you want to be accepted by him? Be a part of his 'world'? Are you different religions? Does he go to your church? Does he include you in other activities/clubs that he attends? Why is it necessary for them to know that you are divorced? Surely he doesn't need to introduce you as "This is Gigi, she's my girlfriend, but it's OK she's divorced!'. People are generally accomodating towards hearing impaired people...seems to me there must be some other reason behind why he doesn't want you there.

Did you ever resolve the issue of him not being at home? Personally I think being lied to is worse then being 'checked up' upon - if you are doing what you say you're doing then it shouldn't be a problem if people find out, but I can understand him feeling a little 'betrayed' by you doing so.

I guess ultimately you need to decide whether a relationship with someone in which you can't feel that you can completely trust a person or that you don't feel completely accepted (not including you at church etc as though he's ashamed of you) is fulfiling to you. Only you can decide that.

August 22, 2002
12:15 am
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gingerleigh
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Usually, if your gut is telling you that something isn't kosher, it probably isn't. But I know from my own experience that confronting a liar is a very difficult thing to do sometimes, so I'm not advocating that you end the relationship over this, it may be possible to work through this, but then again it may not be. Like Squeezles says, only you know how deep the issues are, and it's really up to you, and how much trust you can stand to live without.

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