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Bonni deserves happiness; what does it look like?
August 1, 2009
9:12 am
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bonni
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sigh. happiness doesn't get served to anyone on a silver platter. Its the byproduct of hard work. Right? But what do I need to work on first?

me. am I my own worst enemy?

I know that no one can define happiness for me. But maybe just for today, some suggestions on how to make the best of THIS day would be great. Kids are home from camp til tomorrow. lots o' laundry. I want to go to the mall and get some shopping done before it gets crowded. Wonder if I should leave the 12yo here to do the laundry?

bonni

August 1, 2009
9:31 am
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through_the_fire
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Hi Bonni,

Why is happiness a byproduct of hard work? Just curious.

Maybe you need some time that is unstructured. Instead of thinking of duties, think of just enjoying each moment however you want to. You could do this for a couple of hours or the whole day. Do laundry later. Or have the 12 year old do it.

Fire

August 1, 2009
10:07 am
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bonni
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Fire,
I think that when we actively seek happiness, it is too elusive. But, when we work toward worthy goals, happiness finds us. It is in that focus on the important things. When we focus only on happiness, and ignore other things, like kindness, honor, truth, justice, etc, we end badly.

My sister seeks her own short term happiness without any concern for anyone else. She always chooses the easy way. I don't want that kind of shallow happiness.

I like the happiness that comes toward the end of reading a great novel or at the end of taking the CPA exam and knowing I passed because I studied my butt off for six months.

Yes, the girls are each being responsible for an aspect of the laundry and we are working together as a team. Its harder than just doing it myself, but with less resentment and bonus, they will be more prepared to be on their own.

whew. thank you Fire! good question and excellene suggestion. I'm going to go get ready to enjoy my time at the mall.

bonni

August 1, 2009
11:30 am
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CAMER
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yes Bonni, you deserve happiness!!

go to the mall, have no time limits, just have fun.

And yes, the 12 y/o can do the laundry, heck when i was younger, i had to do laundry, dishes, cleaning...teach 'em young and they
grow up to be good individuals.

August 1, 2009
12:15 pm
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courage to change
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Hi Bonnie

You do deserve happiness.

This is me, however its not everyone.

When I travelled around the world. To see a sunrise of a morning, from a mountain there were two choices normally. One choice was to walk up the volcanoe or mountain, and sometimes there were lifts. Well I always chose to walk up, and then my reward was the sunrise. It was never the same getting a lift up.

This is the story of my life, Ive worked hard in all areas, emotionally, mentally and physically, to get what I have, and I now have a life that brings a better quality than what I once had.

Hope that helps.

And yes, I did house work when I was 12 lots of it. I do not look back in regret, its made me who I am now.

xxx

August 1, 2009
12:16 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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Bonni what does happiness look like. Let's see, when I was struggling from pay check to pay check it was having a pedicure or trying to take everyones suggestion that having a massgae would help my depression. Now? Well I have moved into a bigger house. I have less stuff because I sold a bunch and packed up half the rest. I am having friends over for dinner tonight. I was able to offer my suv and a trailer to them to take their daughter to college next weekend. I don't know how you "chase" happiness , but for today I am ahppy and the has to be good enough. I once again quote our dear Flylady. You can find paece and happiness in less. Wishing you all the best ((((bonni))))

Bitsy

August 1, 2009
8:24 pm
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bonni
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I am SO proud of me. We did shop about 8 hours. We had a great lunch at the food court. I wanted my 12yo to split a sandwich with me, but we didn't want the same thing. She had a whole 6inch sub. I ended up with a kids meal steak & cheese. It was perfect. We got two bags of broken cookies for $2 each at the cookie store (instead of two cookies for the same price).

I was able to bring everything we purchased in the house in one trip. I got a new bedspread on sale, which is the one thing I really really wanted today. I bought the one I have when I first started FLYing years ago and its faded and wearing out.

I got new swimsuits for the girls, which was the other thing we desperately needed - the 12yo's is going in the garbage, it is so damaged. I had a bookstore coupon and got something for everyone in our family at a great discount. Everything else was pretty much on the list of things the girls needed for camp, where they go tomorrow.

We didn't get anything we didn't need, except this towel that gets cold when it gets wet. Its kind of a 50/50 purchase. We'll see how it works.

When I got home, dh had finished much of the laundry and washed all the dishes. We ordered pizza - buy one get one free. It has been a good day. A great day. I am going to do a mani/pedi now.

thank you all for being there for me today.

bonni

August 2, 2009
8:50 am
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CAMER
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yay! Bonni, glad your day went excellent!!! as you well deserve.

(((camer)))

August 2, 2009
11:04 am
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through_the_fire
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Wonderful, Bonni!

Glad your day was so enjoyable.

Fire

August 2, 2009
12:37 pm
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I am glad you had a good day.

Bitsy

August 4, 2009
10:19 am
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truthBtold
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Bonni,

I just bumped up a really old, but quite insightful post by Cici on happiness.

Pretty good stuff, I think.

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