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Bonjour, GG!
October 12, 2006
2:23 am
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Anonymous
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Can't sleep. So, I am up checking email at this hour...ugh! You here? Maybe I will try to get some rest. I gotta get up early.

October 12, 2006
7:36 am
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ggfred4
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P&L, sorry you didn't sleep well; I actually did. Getting ready for work now...I know you have said your pain is your pain, but stories liked mich, kasie, and army tear me up inside and then I don't feel like my problems need to be addressed by others. Their needs have to come first. Going to read everything I can today on step one during lunch and any spare time I have.

Take care...Au revoir' GG

October 12, 2006
1:33 pm
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ggfred4
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P&L, It is lunchtime and I just finished reading all about step one. Read last night, on the way to work, and now. I read it very slowly, highlighted thoughts, and trying to let it sink in. Here's the question:
I have questions and some confusion. I am trying to consider my options...I am going to another site about this, but not getting as much response or help there, but will not give up....Asking your opinion now:there have got to be people on this site that are going through this or have gone through it??? Just wondering if I should start a thread concerning step 1, for support??? As I read through this step, I realized what you have been going through with me...

October 12, 2006
1:44 pm
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GG

Gotta run to work and book my plane tix, but we can talk about step one when I get back. Hugs, P&L

October 12, 2006
2:32 pm
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ggfred4
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Before we share, or you sure??? I am really going to be working on myself and I am going to TRY and start saying things without worrying about what others say and being as open as I can. I have and will continue to be honest with you.

I want to do this because I think we can both help each other. We are different from each other, yet compliment each other.

I really feel like we have grown and learned from each other, sometimes the hard way for me, and I don't want to ruin our relationship in anyway. Just making sure...

October 12, 2006
2:40 pm
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GG

You name eminds me of the movie character GiGi or whatever her name was...

Anyway, yes, I think this is a great place to talk about the steps, and I will reread them with you...it is a perfect opportunity for me to brush up. IN that way, we can co-sponsor each other, but I still encourage you to go to your meetings and check back where ever you are participating. If you ask for replies or a sponsor, codas will notice. I found consistent participation is the best way to get support and noticed. I just didn't give up, and i have about 5 people I consider as sponsors that I can call on anytime!

Okay, must run...still have not booked my tix, cuz my heart rate is sky high today and been waiting for it to come down.

So glad you are reading. In fact, I reread step one today, just because of you! It was so good! I love step one!!! Thanks for that gift. This is a much healthier way for us to share, dontcha think? Thank you so much. I could see why you could see my problem in step one. I have been reading step 6! Step one is always our savior when things get unmanageable. SO, thanks for pointing that out to me, my wise one!

This is fantastic, and I am so excited that we are doing this. This is such a positive thing for us both. See, out of the darkness comes new light and hope!

Talk to you later!

((((GG)))

October 12, 2006
2:56 pm
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ggfred4
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P&L, One question already: Am I supposed to do these steps in order? Do I not go to step 2 until #1 is accomplished or understood.

I am laughing at your gigi reference. Of course this is not my name, but it has to do with a nickname, well kind of.

Your response made me HAPPY! thanks, my friend!!!

October 12, 2006
6:16 pm
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ggfred4
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I have some time before I have to go run some errands... When I read step 1, I felt like a yo-yo, back and forth between reality and what may be denial. I am thinking, I already feel powerless, ready for step 2?

These are things that stood out and I highlighted them: (pg.15)Any time our giving begins to get compulsive or is induced by feelings of guilt and obligation or leaves us feeling victimized, we are in danger.

(pg.16)(THIS IS ME)Or we may become so consumed with thoughts of another, and with wondering what that person is feeling, that we lose touch with ourselves and our thoughts and feelings.

(pg.23)I can't control what others do, think, or feel, whether or how they choose to interact with me,...

(pg.24)THIS HIT ME HARD: When I try to control what others think of me, I turn into a puppet on a string.

(pg.26)Take it when we start believing others control our happiness.

(pg.27)about self-acceptance...We are not alone, not anymore.

Here's my confusion on step one. First, I feel like I have NO power period, I feel that I allow people to have power over me.

I know I do put all my effort into my family, other people, etc. and put very little towards me. Where is the boundary between this and being selfish or self-centered?

Do I get an *F* for step one?..GG

October 12, 2006
11:54 pm
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Can I ask which program's steps you guys are talking about? I have Al-anon and S-anon books. Just got s-anon at first meeting last night. Have had Al-anon for a year.

Would like to participate in discussion if I may.

Thanks.

October 13, 2006
1:56 am
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ggfred4
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new at this, P&L knows more..I am starting step one, a codependents' guide to the twelve steps.

October 13, 2006
1:59 am
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Hi 3A's

This is codependents anonymous. It is a great program. I will repsond to GG's post tomorrow hopefully about Step 1...been at work all day and having health issues. We are going over the 12 steps and she is just starting with Melody Beattie's Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps.

So, you would need that book to keep up. I will get out my book and respond to her items above just as soon as I can.

P&L

October 13, 2006
2:30 am
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GG

Yes, u do the steps in order and understand each before moving on, but we ofter go back and revisit steps as we have setbacks.

Okay will address your questions just as soon as I can. This is great that you are doing the readings and asking questions. IT is good practice for me too!

October 13, 2006
8:06 am
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ggfred4
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thanks, and thank you 3A for wanting to share too.

October 13, 2006
1:27 pm
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ggfred4
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P&L, I don't know about this continuing feeling??? I want to help army and scared...I have tried....I am failing...what am I saying wrong?...I think about them both, women should not hurt like that...this is the only sad part of my day today and it is really sad...GG

October 13, 2006
1:29 pm
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ggfred4
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you helped me, why can't I help them? feel like a failure...

October 13, 2006
9:41 pm
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Is there a particular thread on the 12 steps? I have the book, hadn't read it yet. I have read her Co-Dependent No More.

I've been reading lots by Patrick Carnes lately on sex addiction.

Would like to share and participate in 12 step discussion.

October 13, 2006
9:50 pm
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GG, had a very late day..just got in and to my computer...sorry I still have not gotten back to your post...will do so asap.

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