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Biggest mistake of my life
September 13, 2003
1:42 pm
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Zinnie
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Dear Camper,

Thanks for your concern, and glad that after reading about me, you did not run off screaming!

No, he was NEVER around my kids, and he will never ever ever be around my children, my neighbor's kids or any other children if I can have a say in it.

I also understand what you are saying about your Father. I think I would be the same way. I am from a large family, but there are only two daughters, my sister and myself. Growing up, my Dad at some point in our lives would still hug us good-night, and kiss our cheeks, but anything else? Hell no! I'm talking that if we ever even brought up anything about ourselves of a "personal" nature, the man literally went running from the room. So you can imagine how I feel, and even how my Dad feels now that we know the truth about this man.

Right now my Dad is beating himself up, and keeps quizzing my sister and myself making sure that our cousin never touched, insinuated or anything else.

Like I told my Dad though, my cousin is very smart when it comes to stuff like this. He knew who he could get away with it and who he should never even approach. I think he knew my family enough to know that between my Mom and my Dad, not to mention nine brothers he would never have stood a chance. I'm sure you must have read here somewhere about him feeling up his own daughter? If not, let me tell you when I read that police report, it made me physically sick. Although the mention of me needing new underwear as a teenager was enough to send my Dad running out the back door... at least I never had to worry about anything like that!

I'm also sorry about your experience with your Father. People like this? How can they live with themselves? I know what you are saying about your Mom too, to some degree. However, it still boogles my mind to know that there are parents out there that know this is happening, and turn their head. Again, I don't know if you read this because some of my posts about this situation bounced around on different threads. But, on the stand this mans daughter - the little girl's mother, stated "well, yes, I knew this was happening, but she was already upset about me having another baby, so I did not want to upset her schedule, and I kept sending her over there." Yet, she knew? What kind of mother is that? I still cannot figure out why she was never prosecuted.

I don't know? This has been an excercise that has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I know that.

Right now, I'm at a unique place in my life. I was laid off of work, and I'm also having trouble with my arms. One arm so badly, I will require surgery. I'm beginning to think about going back to school for a degree in physcology (sp? - one of those days!), as I think I would like to work with kids. If I can help children prevent becoming victims I think I would feel like I was doing something. You know? Just a thought that I have for right now.

Another thing this has really opened my eyes too... is seeing my Dad's family, and now knowing why he has had such limited contact with them over the years. My Dad came from such an abusive family, and they all have at least 10 kids, and their kids run absolutely wild, and are neglected. Then they start having kids themselves by the time they are 13 years old. My Dad on the other hand, got away, raised 11 kids, we were never in trouble, and all of us went through college on scholarship. Yet, to this day... his family tells him he is a failure because his parents passed away never forgiving him for moving away. Yet... get this, my older brother was helping my parents get the house ready for my sister's wedding, and he said he found some old boxes with receipts in it. He looked through them, and said that from 1965 to 1997 when my Grandmother died, my father paid my grandparents utilities! And, they never forgave him? My poor dad! What he must have felt... and then to know him for the person he has become, just makes him more awesome in my eyes!

Well... I hope you are still awake, I just have found out so much more in the last few days...

Thanks for listening...

Zinnie

September 13, 2003
8:45 pm
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unhappy camper
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Zinnie
You called this thread "biggest mistake of my life". You know that isn't true now, don't you?

You were innocent and trustful and like us all it's so hard to even imagine that someone we know is so sick and demented. We have a hard time accepting it. It's the dark side and we don't want to be exposed to it. The underworld....

I want to say something wise about the movie The Matrix but I am not really up on it's symobolism. I know it has to do with spirituality.

I truly hope you can legally and physically block this cousin and his mom from your lives for good. It's a nightmare that you are starting to extinguish.

Hang in there honey...and remember all the good in your life, especially your family. I wish you and your husband good luck with your health problems. I am sure this stress is not helping that at all.
hugs,
camper

September 15, 2003
2:20 am
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Zinnie
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Camper,

Yes, I know what you are saying. These people are "leeches" they well latch on and suck out whatever they can get from a person, it does not matter who. It could be me, you, the neighbor, anyone that will fall for what they are selling, and they are very good at it.

I think right now he has figured out he has lost his supporter (me), so he is doing everything he can to reel me back in. I came here to this site in desperation, and have gathered much strength and wisdom from this place and the people it incorporates.

Truthfully, I don't think I will really have to worry too much. Our step-daughter will be close to 20 when he gets out, and also lives in another country. If he thinks her mother will ever have any kind of interest in him at all, then he is more delusional than we all thought.

He is sick, and the sickness now just eminates from every letter or correspondence that he sends. I think he has lied for so long about so many things in his life that he really believes these lies himself, and thinks that everyone else out there believes it too.

When he does get out though, I have no doubt that he will be back in within a matter of weeks. All of the family members there requested a restraining order from him. They said that they knew he would be stalking them, or trying to contact them. In this last letter he goes on and on and on about how yes, there was a restraining order against him, but that did not include his kids or grand kids. It says it right there in black and white that he is to have no contact with them.

But, trust me, when he gets out he is going to want to see them, or talk to them or something. When all of this first happened, he called and was telling me that he was going to send his kids birthday cards. I told him don't do that, they testified at the Grand Jury against you... but "no, I know what I'm doing" - well sure enough when he came before the court for bail reduction the family shows up with all of these letters that he had sent them from jail. So not only did the Judge not reduce his bail, she made it cash only. But, bottom line he flat out does not get it. He never will.

So, he will do something and end up right back in jail/prison and then sit there and wonder how it happened, and who was behind this conspiracy. We also told him, you know when all of this is over you need to think about where you want to live, what you want to do. Told him he needed to move and start over away from this family. His reply "I'm not going to let them run me out of here!" So, see he is hell-bent on revenge, which will bite him and he will be right back where he is now.

Do I still consider this the biggest mistake of my life? Yes, in some ways I still do. I feel that I was duped, and duped for a very long time. I think I should have looked deeper and longer at the situation than what I did. However, that part is over, and there is nothing that I can do to change it. But, what I can do is protect myself, my family and any one else he may try to harm in his path.

But, thank you so much for your kind words.

Love,
Zinnie

September 16, 2003
7:39 pm
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Zinnie
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Hello All,

I know none of you will be really shocked, but...

I just got another packet in the mail for visitors passes.

I sent them all back "no visits planned."

I wonder how long this will go on for?

Z.

September 16, 2003
8:47 pm
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Ladeska
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Oh.........it could go on for some time just because this is one of his few ways of needling you. I think it would be just great to get a P.O. box now!! Whatcha think about that? It's a pain in the ass to tell everyone you "want to know" what your address is but not impossible. And then guess what? It just automatically goes back to him, not at this address!!

September 16, 2003
10:48 pm
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unhappy camper
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Can you have your name and address blocked by the prison so he can't mail anything to you? Sort of get on a 'no mail' list?

September 18, 2003
10:26 am
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Zinnie
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Well, we have decided to stay in our neighborhood for another year to eighteen months - we had been considering moving.

Anyway, yes, we are going to check out the P.O. Box option.

A "no mail" list - sadly Camper I wish existed, but apparently our fine prisoners have the right to send mail out to anyone. Get this, even if some one has a restraining order against them, they can still send them mail... Now the person with the order can file a report with the police and all, but they can still send it.

People are people and everyone deserves a certain amount of dignity I imagine. But... things like this make me wonder about our systems.

Ladeska, I'm still reading "Obsession" - I am normally a very fast reader, but I'm really have a time with this book. I think it is because the content is hard to take, and digest. But, it is so interesting, informative but sad and touching at the same time. I hope you will check it out as I think you will glean new insights into things sadly, you already know far too much about.

Talked to my parents last night. They said that they also got another packet from him too regarding visiting. That, and a letter asking for money. My Dad said that at the beginning of the letter, he is asking for $50 then by the end he is at $250.

So, I guess I'm not the only one whose address he is remembering. I have not however, rec'd anything else for my daughter (Thank God), so I think he realized that was buying him nothing but trouble.

Well, for once in my life the little red LOUD dog is asleep. Problem is, he is asleep across my arms, and it is hard to type!

Love to all,
Zinnie

September 18, 2003
5:31 pm
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bel
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Zinne my cat BellaMia loves for me to pet her but when I stop she gets mad and scratches me and takes off running. I think she is a bit loopy....

September 18, 2003
5:55 pm
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unhappy camper
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Zinnie....you seem calmer about the whole thing. I hope so.

September 18, 2003
7:01 pm
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Good Zinnie!! And look into the P.O. box for sure, like maybe a Mailboxes, Etc. close by or something but do not put in a foward thing, just get in touch with everyone. Is a pain but worth getting rid of this asshole's way to get at you.

You know, people like this just really see you as a place to "feed", to drop their fangs in to you and draw whatever they need. They don't give it a second thought. And the problem "we" have when we are "food" is that we believed the song and dance they gave us in the beg. and along the way because they have spent a great deal of their lives studying people so they can "con" them. Their very life is consumed with this, night and day. How do I lay the trap. Thus the word - predator - is most accurate, the stalk and hunt their prey and lay in wait.

"Prey" does not have feelings or rights to a predator. Doesn't even enter their mind. Oh sure they can talk about whatever and make you THINK they care and have a conscience but it's all an act, a very carefully put together facade.

And no one is really good enough to see through the facade unless they have been ravaged probably ALOT of times by someone like this, where you are now - before they start to go - What the hell? And then start studying and looking into the persona real closely.

I mean for crying outloud, like Dr. Robert Hare said in his book, Without Conscience - these characters con the socks out of the doctors in prison! They let them out, they think they are cured!! Of course, ego plays a great part in all of this....I CURED HIM, therefore we cannot fail here!

But a good con artist knows all about ego and they play any old song you want to hear, they go right for whatever floats your boat and play "that tune" very well actually.

Low level con artists do this very well. Should send a shiver up your spine as to what the really good con artists or psychopaths or sociopaths are capable of.

They are constantly "needy or hungry" because they generate nothing but poison and decaying matter from inside themselves. They are only creative if you can call it that - when they are putting together one more scheme of bait and trap.

They are the bottomless pit and the empty void that is never satisfied and never full or content. They loathe themselves, therefore - they really despise everyone else. But this super inflated ego masks their own self-loathing and keeps an introspection on their part from ever happening because if it did - they fear the results of that. Would their whole structure blow apart? Maybe. Not sure that would be such a bad thing, but they fear it like a physical death.

So the louder you say NO, the more they push the envelope until in some way or another you just slap the pure hell right out of them in such a way that about takes their head off. They don't understand anything else. Especially if they played you once, then you are forever a "mark" in their eyes and they just keep knocking or swinging around later when some other avenue does not pan out thinking you will have grown soft over time.

To me - these people really aren't human. Don't feel a bit bad about saying that. I don't know what they are but above all else they hate life and are intent upon destroying it any way they can.

I know that sounds really cold and harsh but I've spent a good deal of my life trying to cut these people breaks and finding "the good in them" and it just isn't there. I think there comes a place and time in a person's life that is very exact, that line that you cross where there is no turning back when they become totally dark. I really do. Alot of us have been taught in Sunday School to go "OH, but God can save them and everyone has some good in them, if you just look for it, and turn the other cheek and pray for them and just love them - everything will eventually come up Poppies!!!" Well God can't DO what people don't want!! I crack up at the notion of one minute we say we have a free will and the next we are expecting God to go hammer someone right to the wall until they cry Uncle and give in! So uh....which is it?? Our delusional thinking will get us dead in some cases.... and in others butchered in more ways than one, but "maybe" still alive...

I don't think God intended for us to be stupid. He knows we are going to be ignorant about alot of things until we learn better, but He expects us TO learn when the information is available and not go back to chanting some crap that just isn't true and has more to do with our own ego of "being the person who touched the savage beast and turned them around." Arrrghhh!!!

I am SO sick and tired of seeing that one in movies! Just love the guy who breaks your heart in tiny little pieces and steps on it and is rough around the edges and who is arrogant and full of himself, the BAD boy because - in the end - he really has a heart of PURE gold!!! God forbid, what kind of flippin' brainwashing is this garbage?? But just look at all the stories, in movies, in books, on the tube - it's all the same.... MY LOVE CAN CHANGE HIM!!! I just have to hang in there!!! (barf)

And we WONDER WHY we see so many girls and women on this forum that are in the predicament they are in with men??????? Hello!!! We've been taught this crap from the cradle to the grave! When what we SHOULD have been taught is - what is a "mark", what is a "predator", what do they look like, act like, how am I vulnerable, what will they go for and how can I protect myself? We aren't taught any of this stuff for the most part going out into the world and by the time we get to that launching point we are so full of the other conditioning that I guess we WON'T see it coming when it hits us!!

We'll stand there like a deer in the headlights going - what the hell!!!????

That's what is going on in our whole country right now. We should be rioting in the streets at what our govt. is doing and getting right away with but everyone believes the propaganda machine and walks around doing chants and saying things like - but they have our best interests at heart and we have to trust our president and, and I just can't believe they could deceive us and, and, I'm just going to wave the flag now and think happy thoughts and go back into the herd and get lost because all this thinking is making my head hurt......

Yea, well, that's a very sad commentary. A person, a people, a country that does not THINK, becomes prey.

YOU Zinnie my dear.......ARE thinking and putting thoughts into action. You're doing your homework, you're making sure that you LEARN from this experience as bad as it hurts....you realize that this sweat is nothing in comparison to the blood this man could have draw from you for years to come. You are doing your due diligence.

I don't know what is about human nature that wants to be lied to....I really don't. I think the biggest reason I can think of is just pure laziness. Because thinking, being aware, going against the flow, having integrity, taking a stand, all takes strength and energy and most people just aren't interested. It's easier to chant crap and let someone else do the work and the thinking and tell them where they can pick up their check and where to buy beer.

So you my dear, are one of the few....but it's always been that way. Those who want to learn, to grow, to really better themselves in ways that reach deep into our being - has always been a merry band of "the few".

September 18, 2003
7:28 pm
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unhappy camper
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That was very powerful Ladeska. I like the vampire analogy. However, we don't turn into vampires from their bites. We stay nice and helpful and giving and trusting. It's our spirit that they wound until we can't take it any more. More like torturers.

It is f****** amazing how much we let them get away with. Jeez...we can't even dream of acting 1/millionth as bad as they do. They don't stop until they are stopped. It's an amazing show. But we are blind to it because we have blood in our eyes...our blood.

And screaming, crying, begging, bribing, reasoning, threatening....all falls on deaf ears. They have no consciencous. You can hold a mirror up to them so they can see how horrible they are....and they just don't care, deny it, call you a liar, tell you the mirror is wrong, you are nuts, etc.

You can pull your hair out.....fat lot of good it would do.

It's like they are possessed.

September 18, 2003
11:13 pm
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Ladeska
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Well actually, UC, some victims do turn into vampires unfortuately. I've seen my fair share of that one. Everyone makes their own independent decision at one point in their lives or over a period of time. I think it's a combination of the lure of power, whether good or bad it's still power, and the level of pain that has turned into anger that seeks for a way to ease itself and take revenge by becoming - an abuser.

I've seen alot of this and it's really sad. It's almost like you can see that point where they decide and turn....you can see that they maybe have some hard knocks and things are very unfair, maybe they run up against people who should have helped them, they gave their trust to and were vulnerable to and they slapped them down too and betrayed them. So then it all runs together in one big shade of gray to them. And they think well, why not? Why not just use what I know and have learned here to get my own power going on?

The thing is, you'd almost feel sorry for people like this, have some compassion and I think that's a good thing to do, but not to dismiss the fact that - they also "chose" just like anyone else to go down this path when they could have just as easily chosen otherwise and they didn't.

I hear people argue that well, some people handle abuse better than others, their minds, psyche is stronger or they just have more of a moral code for some reason, or it's genetics, the old war of nurture vs. nature that's been going on for some time now takes over. But still........there is that element of "choice" and that is very huge.

Because for one thing, I've seen what the human spirit can do when it's back is up against the wall with very little to work with and because a person's will sets itself to the task at hand, amazing feats are overcome whereas another person who has more going on for them and just as much abuse maybe and they choose to turn into a vampire instead.

So, in the final tally, it's really all about what you set your will towards. It doesn't matter what the odds are, if the will is set - the spirit kicks ASS!!!

Our spirit inhabits a space and it's composed of matter and brain cells and synapses and hormones and chemicals and a myriad of other things but the spirit is the ruler of the house. And is the one that will shed the body some day and go beyond it. So genetics really does not rule.... It plays a part but it is temporal and the spirit is eternal.

We are the driver in the bus, we tell the bus where to go regardless of what is in the way. If we really, really want to go forward, we're going forward one way or the other, come hell or high water. The libraries of full of people who did just that.

I can point to Helen Keller and say - enough said on the subject.

September 19, 2003
3:17 am
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Wow Ladeska and Camper...

Lots of good insights from both of you. Again, not to harp, but I hope you will both (or anyone else here reading) check out the book "Obsession" - it touches on what we are discussing here. That so many people are abused, and just repeat the patterns, become the same evil cons that once preyed upon them. Remember, I honestly think he learned this from his Mother. One of the things his lawyer told me was that when I was out of the court room and the others were all testifying it was basically the same thing. They are all drug addicts, and alcholhics, and prostitutes because of this that and the other, and now their own children are the same way, and breeding another generation.

I remember, gosh had to be about 20 years ago now when Mr. T. was very popular, and he gave an interview. He talked about how he grew up in the projects, and after his mother had many children their father walked out. His Mother worked several jobs, and they were poor, really had to stretch to make ends meet. But, all of the children, and I seem to remember there were over ten of them, all went on to be extremely successful. He talked about education being the key, and not feeling sorry for yourself. He also said "just because I had a rough life, that did not give me the right to go out and be a bad person, and steal and do drugs, etc." Again, in this book "Obsession" it talks about the same things. That there are plenty of people out there who grew up in abusive situations, but did not become that way themselves. Again, I look at my own parents. They came from such horrific back grounds, yet, they were good parents. So, what does that tell you?

Yes, Ladeska, it does take work to do and get through this. I still feel that this happened to me for a reason. Whether it is to make sure that I can help it from happening to others, or if this will take me in a new career direction I don't yet know. This man is sick and evil, and he will never stop. Never. Not until he is dead. Right now he see's me as one of his marks. He knows he blew it with me so he is trying so hard to get back in my good graces it is mind blowing. Part of me, yes, I'm still mad that I fell for it. But, then there is another part of me that is ??? I don't know what yet that I was able to "see" him, and am now working toward a solution.

Another thing that does concern me. I read an article about a man today in prison who was in for attempting to kill his wife. While he was awaiting trial, he actually attempted to hire two other people in prison who were getting out soon to finish what he had tried to start. That is one of the biggest reasons we are so serious about looking into the P. O. Box option, especially once we do move. Now, alot of our information is kept confidential due to what both my husband and I do professionally. But, you can never be too safe.

Now, on to another note... Bel trust me the little red LOUD dog is beyong loopy! He is a as my husband calls him a "zoot suit riot" - he is wild and crazy. He has a sense of humor if you can believe that in a dog (as I do). He does things just for the sheer joy of getting a laugh out of you. He is a terrier mix of some sort, but he is so wound up most of the time we call him the "terrorist" mix! I'm sure he would have great fun with your cat, as he see's everything on this earth as his personal play toy!

Well, off to bed. I imagine I will be sore tomorrow (later today, actually), as I managed to take a spill running in the rain into the office! Of course in front of several people as we were doing a shift change...

Only me!

Love to all,
Z.

September 19, 2003
9:46 pm
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Zinnie
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AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Today, I'm in a dead sleep, as I worked until the wee hours of the morning. It was also the last night working, and I have worked for the last ten days straight over 12 hour shifts each day, so I was exhausted.

The phone rings. I answer it.

Guess who???? This mans mother! "He wants to know why you keep returning his paperwork to be a visitor, and he needs money" Essentially, he is too lazy to write and ask this I guess? Of course, now he can get through to her on the phone, so now she is calling me! I told her "well, I have no intentions of visiting him, I have been used."

She starts bawling, and crying and blathering on and on. Then has the nerve to ask me to "lend" her a thousand dollars!

Tell me honestly, am I the crazy one in this situation?

Zinnie

September 20, 2003
11:38 am
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I can't believe that your cousin is still persisting with wanting you to visit him and give him money. When will he ever figure out that you mean what you say. Does his mom think she can guilt you into doing things for him? Good grief!!

The only thing that hit me about the post office box is that your cousin may eventually get the number if he writes to his mom and different people that might have access to your new po address. Maybe not though - I guess you would just have to be very careful in who you give the address to. What a mess for you to have to work out.

I think you are a wonderful person with a very kind and loving heart. Your cousin knew that about you and knew that he could use you in all of this. What a warped and sick mind he has.

Take care and get some rest. Your work schedule sounds a little crazy.

September 20, 2003
2:21 pm
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Of course you're not the crazy one here, Zinnie, but you are surrounded by loonie tunes, that's for sure. And so she's hitting you up for money, too, huh? Seems like "using" runs in the family big time. They have SOME nerve here!! Okay Zinnie, time to change your phone number. Enough of this shit already, ya know? Get that P.O. box, too and then if they come on your property, you get a restraining order, enough of all this crazymaking. This just isn't okay anymore, any of it. And you know better than to even question that - you might be the crazy one here, so enough of that. I don't want to hear that one out of your mouth again! Don't make me come over there! God, this fires me right up. These people are seriously WHACKED and it may come down to a confrontation here from your husband maybe going over there and telling them under no uncertain terms what IS and what ISN'T here. They just don't seem to be getting shit here and it's time THEY DID. The BIG line needs to be drawn in the sand and emphasized in such a way that says - and I mean I want NO CONTACT from you people ever again! You don't need this crap in your life anymore and it's time to be rid of it for good.

September 21, 2003
9:45 am
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Zinnie
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Thanks guys (gals... smile), I needed that! Too Scared, thanks for the sweet compliment, I needed it today!

Yes, now she is hitting me up for money! Can you imagine. These people do not know when to stop. We are having our number changes. Pain that it is, it is what we have to do. The only ones who really have our address anyway are mostly people that we want to have it, so it should not be too much trouble to change it. The only way these folks could get my new addy would be from my Dad, and good luck there!

I just could not believe it when she started asking me for money! I mean, what the hell? These are people that before any of this happened I had very very limited contact with. But, now they feel they can ask me for a thousand dollars?

Another scary thing... and I would like some advice feedback on this, as I'm very stongly considering placing this phone call.

The other night, I could not sleep after getting home from work, so it was about 2:00 a.m. I turn on Court TV as I'm flipping through the channels, and they are running a program on "The System" - so I tune in and start watching this. Anyway, they are investigating a "cold case" file, regarding a murder that took place on Camp Pendelton, CA which is a Marine base in CA. Anyway, they talked about how this base has the highest crime rate of any military installation in the world.

Well... get this, they did a little "aside" on this, and said that there was a string of unsolved rapes on this base from 1970's to 1990's. They were never solved, so they feel that the person responsible died, or has retired. Oh Lord, guess WHO was stationed there during that time. I wrote down the woman on TV's name, and have looked up the number. I have a "weird" feeling about this to say the least.

Thoughts?

Love,
Z.

September 21, 2003
10:00 am
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mj
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Hey, it couldn't hurt to call...you never know. I think that coincidences are never quite coincidental....Trust your gut.

I was watching a program a few weeks back about hyperb....don't know how to spell it...on tv and low and behold two people are now having these treatments and I had a little knowledge of it beforehand.

Once, I was driving to visit my mom, and stopped at a rest stop, got a weird feeling from a man lurking about....and he followed me to my mom's town a half hour away and stalked me there. I called the police and they watched us for the night. Well, 4 years later, I see his photo in the local newspaper as a convicted rape criminal....

Chills...I wrote the police department but...I didn't ever get a response...but luckily, he was already in jail for several convictions. So, Zinnie, trust your gut...it can't hurt and might help someone solve their crime.

Sorry that your knee is hurting...
Will you be able to work...or do you get to take time off?

September 21, 2003
2:04 pm
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Ladeska
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CALL THEM!!!!!!!!! Absolutely! Wow, this one just gives me shivers up my spine! If they have DNA or fingerprints or if the victims can identify him - he's sunk. And so he should be if he did this. You've got him corralled now, so just do it. If it's not their man, oh well. But if it is, Zinnie.......this is highly important here. You can't not do this! Please do it ASAP! I would do it anonymously though. If you just have to, have to tell who you are, then I'd make them sign a paper that says your name will never be used.

And good for you about changing your no. and address. You just have to. This is nuts and needs to stop. These people are just wicked and do whatever you have to - to get them out of your life.

Just sitting here thinking, OMG, what if this was him? It wouldn't surprise me one bit and sometimes, these things come to your attention for a reason.........so go with your gut and like I said, if it's not him, oh well, but if it is - just think of what good this will do the victims and their families and will keep him locked up for probably the duration of his life.

September 21, 2003
10:24 pm
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Zinnie
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Update folks...

Talked to my husband about making THE CALL. I thought he would say no, don't get involved.

Uh... he said "ABSOLUTELY - Z. if you can help some of these people come to some type of finality or closure, you have too."

He is contacting someone tomorrow to find out how I can do this anon., so that it cannot be traced back to me for obvious reasons.

Also talked with my friend here, the one that went with me to the trial and all. I was telling her that all's I want to do now is walk away, and they will not leave me alone! She was great just listened. She is coming out tomorrow to spend the day with me as I'm laid up for a while. Fortunately, the peak at work is over, so I was suppposed to be off for a while anyway.

Will let you know what hubby finds out from whom ever he is calling.

Love,
Z.

September 21, 2003
10:42 pm
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tooscared
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Good luck Zinnie. Sounds like your husband is really a good guy and I am glad that you guys are working together to take care of this problem.

I hope that your knee feels better soon. What can you do for a cracked knee cap? Do you just have to let it heal on its own? Just take care of yourself and I am glad that you have some down time from work.

Take care.

September 21, 2003
11:11 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi TS,

You have it as far as what you can do for a cracked knee cap. Sadly, this is the second time I have cracked the SAME knee cap! I have a soft brace that the Dr. gave me to help keep it immobilized during sleep, but other than that, not much else can be done. Since the crack is right on the actual knee cap, as long as it is re-aligned normally, which is what they did for me on Friday at the Dr., which is what I needed the pain pill for more than anything, it is just a matter of waiting it out.

So... sitting here with ice, a heating pad, bottle of aspirin for inflamation and some pain pills.

Top all that off with the little red LOUD dog who is bouncing around... playing with his quacking duck and there you have it!

Love,
Zinnie

p.s. - I will let you know how my conversation goes either tomorrow or Tuesday depending on what my husband finds out.

September 22, 2003
11:11 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi All,

A friend of mine came out today to spend the day with me. This is my friend that drove with me to NM for the trial. We talked about what a case my cousin is. We are still wondering why he got those extra years tagged on to his sentence, but we might not ever really know.

I notice that I have not heard from him except to keep receiving the visitors questionare every few days.

I did let my friend read this last letter that he sent. She pointed out some thing that I had missed. He says "my Dad (my Uncle) is going to send you a big envelope of Christmas cards, get a card and gift for your sister's wedding, and oh get "Little Angel" (CRINGE!) something for school."

Now, why is he having his father send me Christmas cards? I have this sick feeling he is going to want me to send these out to family members who want no contact or have a restraining order. I don't know.

Any ideas?

Love,
Z.

September 23, 2003
2:46 am
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Squeezles
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I don't suppose it really matters "why" he wants you to send cards to others on his behalf...all you need to worry about is whether you are willing to keep being sucked into this pattern of behaviour. From what you've described, even if he was/is innocent, you've done more than can be expected of anyone, especially given your previously not close relationship. It definately sounds like it's time for him to find someone else to 'drain'. And if he can't find anyone else? Well then that speaks volumes doesn't it?Sometimes it's hard for people to take the hint that they aren't welcome, I guess.

September 23, 2003
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gingerleigh
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Stay out of it as much as you can. Sending strength and good thoughts your way...

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