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Biggest mistake of my life
August 4, 2003
3:28 pm
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Okay, but I'll just sit here and blow bubbles from the soap instead. Group Hug and TICKLES!!!!

August 4, 2003
7:54 pm
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Wow Group,

So you all think that each person that continued to let this man have access to their kids, just thought their abuse at his hands might have been an "isolated incident?"

Interesting thought and line on our thread.

Hugs to all, group tickle and a big puppy dog kiss!

Zinnie

August 4, 2003
9:54 pm
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Hey all,

First of all, Ladeska, I happen to love bottle rockets! They are especially fun to launch during a snow storm, the kind where the flakes are bigger than quarters, and the snow packs hard and wet--makes a kind of squeeking noise when you step on it.

Ladeska, you are a passionate person. It's part of who you are. Please don't ever feel like you have to tone that down for me. It's a beautiful bright shining light. And, being bi, I imagine if you take that kind of passion to bed with you, your partner is lucky to survive the encounter, but probably thankful he took the chance...tee-hee!

With regard to people perceiving things that happened as "isolated incidents", what I gotta say is "De-Nial: It ain't just a river in Egypt. Know what I mean?" Hey, how much easier does it make things if people say "Oh, he didn't really mean it that way. It was just a one time thing." Who knows what people are really thinking or why? Coping can be like a big ball of yarn all tangled up after the cat played with it for a few days. Sometimes, we choose to cope that way so we can fall back on the old "I'm so confused" safety net. It's a way of saying "I'm accountable, but I haven't quite figured it all out so please excuse me..." I don't know if this is making any sense, I hope it is.

God knows I've done my share of camping along the shores of "De-Nial", sometimes alone, sometimes along with the rest of my family.

Zinnie, if I'm getting too far off the track here, just step up and tell me so. I'll start a new thread. It just seems to me that we are all opened up here, ready to share, to get down to the meat and bones of it all, and it feels safe to me to do this here. But I won't be offended if I'm taking up too much time in your thread...

As I was saying, camping on the shores of "De-Nial", my oldest sister once French kissed a 2 year old right in front of my parents. She must have been about 20 or so. My mom kinda yells out "What to you think you're doing?" And my sister says "She was doing it to me!" And my mom tells my sister she better not be doing that anymore. End of subject.

I once saw my sister French kiss my son when he was about the same age. For about 2 years I pretended it didn't happen because I wasn't in a place where I could open up that can. I didn't want to look at what I went through. I didn't want to own up to what my son might be going through. I wasn't ready to remember hearing my sister scolding my little brother because his 4 year old penis wasn't cooperating when she wanted him to stick it in her. I didn't want to remember the way my cousin trembled in fear, tears welling up in her eyes, the beet-red cheeks painted with the humiliation I was dumping on her. I wanted to stay in "June and Ward Cleaver Land" (AKA: Campgrounds along river De-Nial) and pretend that I came from the perfect upper-middle class family and it was all good.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting what I did to preserve my idealistic bullshit. But I did it. Now I gotta deal with it, learn to live with it. come to realize that when I thought I was at this beautiful, exotic campground I was really staked out next to a gutter with nothing but raw sewage spewing out through a busted pipe somewhere up stream in my family history.

So, there you have it, I guess. Most of it, anyway. I know it's going to make for a hard read. But if anyone learns anything from it, then maybe it'll be worth it.

Love to all,

Arwen

August 5, 2003
12:17 pm
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Zinnie.......Yes, that is what I think. Have seen it sooo much. The people that I have worked with in the past usually FREAK out when I mention.......sooo......how many other people do you think he or she has done this to? And because they think that - THEY - are the one that caused this in them in the first place, which most of them do....the personalize their abuse that way most of the time......then it becomes this thing of - it's just between us. They don't see them as a perpetrator, only as someone who did this to "them" and that's it.

This works sooo well for the perpetrator. Is just all too convenient, their prey is frozen in place by this and they just continue doing their thing....unchecked, unconfronted and with free rein.

The other thing that goes on is - people are afraid of what will happen to them, personally, if they think outside this box and consider things like this. Because then - THEY are responsible for what they know and with their own self esteem in shambles, it's rather difficult to rise to the mark and hit it.

Arwen...yep, that's me - I have two switches, on and off and when I'm on - I'm ON!!! LOL! I think it just catches people off guard sometimes when I'm coasting along, being my little hippie, so-California self and then all of a sudden - OMG, she's not brain dead or asleep! That would be about the time the bottle rocket goes off. (smile) I've never lit one off in snow before!! That has to be very awesome!! Great idea!

Your family Arwen.......arggghhhhh....what a mess.....I'm so sorry. I know you love your sister and I understand that but I have nothing but contempt for her. She is one SICK puppy and we haven't hit much on your mother in all this, but for crying outloud - she should have hit the roof with her and about alot of things here. I just don't get it. I really don't. I mean I've lived in it, around it and all that, and I still don't get it. It would not do for me to be around and see her do that to a baby, a two year old.....because she wouldn't have a tongue left in her mouth to do it again and I mean that oh so sincerely. This woman is far from being a victim. She's a full on perp now and has been for a long, long time. She chose - to do what she does at some point, it wasn't just a feeling. She knows it's wrong and that she is hurting people and yet she chooses to do it anyways. Some choices change you forever and there is no undoing it. I don't have hope for people like your sister. I'll just be honest about it. I think they have to be removed from society because they are extremely dangerous. And if you let them back out - they will go do it again and again and again. I cannot even tell you how dangerous she is, Arwen. How old are you children now? I know you've told me before, but I forget...

August 5, 2003
1:07 pm
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Zinnie,

Again, if I'm messing up your thread, I apologize...

Ladeska, you are right about my sister. She has many ways in which she perps, and I want to talk about this some, because I think it's a side of sexual offenders that most people never know is there.

She is highly skilled at "bending" things--situations, truths, statements, occurances--everything is shaded once it passes through her. She works over-time trying to win the approval of our parents, I believe, because they know what she did to us, and she carries with her a certain amount of guilt. She is very obsessive-compulsive about certain things, it has to be her way, period. In situations like this, if things don't go her way, then in a very passive aggressive manner she will make sure that everyone pays a price. There is an aspect of emotional perpetration that I guess I'm trying to describe here. How, in so many ways, her life is driven by what she has done, and the fact that she has difficulty continuing perp the way she used to is a huge driving force in her life. It's almost as if she feels she's lost her identity in so many ways, and she's just out there, struggling, trying to find a place to fit without delving into the deep dark places where the light needs to shine in order for her to do anything differently--like a dry drunk, if that makes sense.

Like every person, she has positive attributes. She has a genius level IQ. She is always willing to go above and beyond to help me and other family members when we need something. At the same time, if she can "bend" it to her advantage, she will. If she can show herself to be a martyr, she will. I think she is in a place where she is being forced to look at some very real aspects of who she is and what she does. In fact, I know she is because in the past year, with my kids (son 17, daughter 14) in their own therapeutic processes, and me in mine, I have disclosed the "ugly family secret" to them, and they have not had any problems calling her on her shit. Neither have I, in a lot of ways. So she knows now that we are all paying attention, and this is forcing her to adapt by pulling away, trying to detach, bending, twisting, shading everything she possibly can in order to appear the way she used to, but it's too late.

In many ways I feel like a side-line observer, but I know this is just a part of my own coping mechanisms. If it were as simple as watching a ball game, I wouldn't be slicing off parts of myself every chance I get. I know I'm in this way over my head, but I'm in it, and I gotta survive it, and I will. That's just all there is to it. Change is hard. It has always been hard for me. I'm way out of my comfort zone here. Sometimes I feel like I'm not gonna make it. Sometimes it seems so tempting just to end this life and move on to another one, but I know in my universe, that's not how things work. If I suicide, then I'll be back, right where I left off, and I'll have to finish this before I move on because a lesson is a lesson and I don't get to move up toward graduation if I don't pass my freshmen year, right? So I struggle to hang on to some little shreds of what is left of my life, and sew some things together for my children--teach them about me, my family, secrets. Let them know it's alright to talk about ANYTHING because that's something I never had, still don't have, unless I'm so passionate about a subject that I'm willing to be judged, sentenced, and sometimes spiritually executed for the things I take a stand on. Please don't get me wrong. This is NOT a pity party. I don't feel sorry for myself, at least not today. This is just how my life has been, and in many ways parts of me are glad because it makes me strong, and helps me be a more supportive mother to my kiddos. It provides me with certain insights, gifts. It allows me to come to this place to drink in the fact that I'm not alone, and maybe give a little of myself to someone who's not having such a great day.

I come from a very fucked up family. But somehow, we all hold on to the love we have for each other. We have blended the shit with the ice cream, and we live with it, as disgusting as it is. Someday we'll be able to have something different, or at least I will. But for now, a shit shake is going to have to be good enough.

Love to all,

Arwen

August 5, 2003
1:44 pm
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Arwen,

No, hon you are not messing up my thread here... you are just adding to it, getting it out, and we are all dealing TOGETHER, which I think is cool.

What you say about your sister is very much like my cousin. He knows "how to work it" - he has been someone that he immediate family all turned to in their time of need because he would do things for them. But, at the same time, it gave him free reign to further abuse them. Make sense? At first it didn't to me, but I'm figuring it out.

I will write more later. Right now I need to go lay down, as I'm having a bout of the stomach flu.

Hope you are all well.

Love,
Zinnie

August 6, 2003
8:55 am
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Arwen and all,

Just re-read your last post regarding your sister. The part that got me was the one about the bending, half-truths, etc.

That is the one thing that my cousin is very skilled at. He can bend a situation, or truth like no one I have ever seen.

One of the things that his second wife talked about in her letter was his ability to lie so smoothly, and bend things to where people would feel sorry for him. She then talked about his manipulative side. I have now experienced it first hand.

Tell me what you all think about this...

Last Thanksgiving, we (hubby and I) decided to take up an invitation that we had rec'd to spend Turkey Day with some friends in Louisiana. Well, my cousin had called and I told him that we were going to LA for the holiday. So the night before T-Day, he called at about 10:30 or 11:00 at night. Now remember, he is in jail, it is not like he can call and leave a message "uh, hey guys, know you are out but wanted to wish you happy Thanksgiving."

Well, I answer the phone, and there is the collect call message. So I accept the charges - now keep in mind that this is costing ME $60.00. Anyway, I said "well what is wrong" thinking something must be wrong as it's late at night, and he had already called once that day.

His reply "well, I thought you would be gone" I said, well if you thought I was going to be gone, why are you calling. He said that he was keeping tabs on me. Keeping tabs on me? Uh, I'm over legal age...

Does this bother anyone else?

Advice, thoughts?

Love,
Zinnie

August 6, 2003
11:36 am
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Zinnie...........the guy is a whack job, okay? Extremely dangerous person and I cannot emphasize that enough here. You can examine anything about this man and come up with this fact - every time. Of course what he did is WHACKED! I know you probably still want to find some good in him, to justify why you've allowed him to use you like that, but at some point you just have to smack the label on the whole situation, chalk it up to a learning experience and cut him totally and forever out of your life. I read stuff like this and it just makes my skin crawl. Keeping tabs on you??? What the hell was that all about?? But it's just another of many more instances of the same nature. There is nothing good in this guy. He is where he belongs and quite frankly I hope they keep him forever!

I'm just sooo glad that you are seeing what's up here now and realizing how much you have been in the clutches of a very nasty person. STAY AWAY!!!

August 6, 2003
4:43 pm
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Woo-hoo folks... guess who I just got a letter from?

"What is wrong, why won't you take my calls? Why won't you write? Are you and your husband on the verge of a divorce?"

What in the heck is THAT about? Wishful thinking?

Thoughts? Advice? Questions? Answers?

Z.

August 6, 2003
5:18 pm
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Hey Zinnie, love,

Have you seen the movie "Signs" with Mel Gibson? (I know, here I go with the movie shit again...) What I'm going to tell you won't ruin the movie for you if you haven't seen it, and if you haven't, I suggest you not just rent, but purchase it and watch it from your heart every chance you get because it's very spiritual.

Anyway, there's this part when these people are down in a basement, got the door locked. Safe and sound, right? Someone is trying to bust in the door, but soon, the people who are trapped realize that the outsiders aren't trying to break in anymore, they're just making noise. Why? They ask themselves...because they want our focus on the door...it the answer they come to, then realize that there's actually another way into the basement. The outsiders are making noise at the door as a distraction, to keep their attention focused there, while they get in the basement through the coal shute to get at the people inside.

Ain't this just like life and those damn manipulative sneaky SOB's? So, that's what your cousin is up to. He's looking for the coal shute, and if you aren't careful, he's gonna find it. Don't let him distract you. Don't worry about why. Just reject the phone calls, put "Return to Sender" on those letters or "No Longer at This Address". Change that phone number. Because he is going to keep working it as long as he has even the smallest crumb of something to work with. He doesn't deserve to know where you are, what your are doing, why you don't want contact, or anything else about your life. He isn't worthy.

Take care of you!

Love,

Arwen

August 6, 2003
5:28 pm
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Update to all...

I just heard from the case worker in Los Lunas about who to contact regarding this SOB writing to my nine year old. I called and left a message, so I hope to know more in the next few days.

I imagine this is going to get UGLY, big time, and fast.

Thanks to all of you for listening, and giving great advice, and just being a general cheering section!

Arwen, I will make a point to rent that this weekend. We had tried a few times before but it was always out. I had a scary thought, with him being in NM, small chance but stanger things have happened... let's hope he and your sister never meet.

Love,
Zinnie

August 6, 2003
8:15 pm
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He's doing what????????? Writing to your nine year old???? On NO, NO, NO!!!!! I'd nip that one in the bud so fast it would make his head spin. Yep, Return to Sender and all the things Arwen just said. Time to end this and you don't have to answer to him or anyone else about why. It should be obvious and if it isn't - too damned bad. You can change your mind, you can change your life around, you can say NO to him and you can protect yourself and yours against this CREEP!!!! People like this Zinnie, once they have an In with you - think they own you. You are there to be used by them and that's just that. That's the way THEY think. You don't have any rights and if you do - screw them. That's their mindset, so the sooner you see it that way and go - like I said - you see the hand in your face, you best UNDERSTAND what it MEANS. End of story, no more talking, I don't have to answer to you about any freaking thing, EVER. That is the ONLY way you can deal with people like this.

August 6, 2003
8:40 pm
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Hi Ladeska,

Yes, that is the final icing on the big ol' wedding cake. He decided to write to my nine year old step-daughter and ask her for pictures of herself. As I said earlier, the good thing was I got the letter first. When I contacted the local police and sent them a copy of the letter, their reaction was "well, he is already in jail, what exactly are you wanting us to do?"

Well, he just committed another crime, as he is not to have any contact with a person under the age of 18. Fortunately, an attorney and a case worker in the area where he is are willing and able to assist me in this.

Yes, this man is a user, there is no other word for it.

But, now you see why I titled this thread "Biggest mistake of my life" - I had been taken in completely and now I feel like a fool. No other words or description will do.

Zinnie

August 6, 2003
8:54 pm
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Okay Zinnie.......we all do the "fool" thing in life. We do. We all do it. The thing with these people is - you do not see it coming. You get suckered in and then they confuse you and spin you around, know your vulnerable places, where to hit the guilt button and what to say and do when. Typical con artist and more importantly - in alot of cases - psychopath.

That's all they do though.......is study people, how to use them, abuse them. It's their "profession" and they are good at it. You ran into it, you got hurt and you Learned from it! No one is ever prepared really to run into this kind of person, unless of course, you've had the misfortune to have ran into this breed before.... You are now in "that" category. You know now...what's up in ways, you didn't know before. Unfortunately, that's the way we learn. I mean, you could have given you a book, but would you have "gotten it" until - now. Now you can read things and go DAMN!!! And you're - get it, when before it was like - yea, whatever. That's the way we all are, until we run into these things in life.

The important thing is - you see more clearly now and that's all you can ask from yourself. You didn't know then, what you know now and believe me - these people are Good at what they do. And there is always a person like this that can still fool you, believe me.

But what you do is stop beating yourself up and realize - you were no match for this person, didn't see them coming. But NOW is a whole different ballgame. Time to make tracks and move on. Head out of the belly button, okay? Nothing in there but fuzz bunnies anyways.

August 7, 2003
4:22 pm
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What is amazing to me regarding these people is the fact that if they put their energies and time and effort into actually doing something worth while, think of the things they could accomplish.

I will post more later. I read his divorce paperwork from wife number one last night. Scary stuff... the military knew he was sick, and did nothing.

Z.

August 7, 2003
6:05 pm
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Zinnie.......isn't that cute. They knew and did nothing. Well, some personas are quite *useful* in the military.... Sometimes not having a conscience is quite the tool and weapon.

August 7, 2003
10:29 pm
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O.K. folks,

Here it is. Wife number one reported him to the Military Police at the end of their marriage for "spousal rape", beatings, and emotional and mental abuse. He was ordered to leave the housing units and return to barracks while his family was allowed to stay in the base housing.

During this time he was supposed to be living like any other single man in the Military (or one who does not have his family with him, during Vietnam that is what my Dad had to do). Well, first and foremost was he kept breaking the Order of Restraint by consistently going "home" for lunch instead of taking chow in the Mess Hall. When she reported him, his excuse... "wanted to be able to see the kids, and my allotments are still geared for having a family on base, so I would have to pay for my food." Hum, to some that might sound like a viable explanation, but you cannot tell me that they could not have gotten that changed over for him. They can move paperwork like the wind when they really want to.

Anyway, the family was ordered to go to counseling, and in the paper work that I found it gives the counseling reports. Prepare yourself, this is where it gets bad.

During the counseling sessions, this man ADMITS to having repeatedly having vaginal and anal intercourse with his sister when she was between the age of seven and twelve. He ADMITS to finding out about his fourteen year old daughter having a sexual relationship when she came home with several "hickeys" - his response? Push her up against the wall, feel her up, and give her a hickey on her neck. His reply when she screams "what in the hell are you doing?" - "if you let a boyfriend do that to you, then I can to."

He was pegged as being "Narcisistic, Histronic personality with grand delusions." The CO of the base deemed that the family should have never been allowed on base, and that it was a direct lack of screening on the Marine Corp part to have let them on base. They even arranged a special military transport to bring the entire family back to CONUS, which is just about unheard of. Even when my two brothers died and Dad was overseas, they sent him home commercial flight.

Gang, they not only wanted them off of the base, they fucking wanted them off of the base. I'm sorry to use profanity here, but that is the only way to describe it.

He also admits to sleeping with both sister-in-laws, and having then the counselor ended up going to the CO and stating "these people do not want to get better, they do not want help, they only want to destroy each other." When he found out about wife number one having an affair, does he do the thing a grown person would do? Just confront her one on one in private? No, he takes his kids up to the hotel where he knows his wife and another man is, takes them to the hotel room, tells them Mom is in there waiting, and they knock on the door. Then he left.

Of course after all of this happened, he moved back to NM and went on recruiting duty. He was supposedly there to work out the family issues in the comfort of being in his home city. He was there to stalk his ex-wife. I found all of his notes. About him following her all over town, sitting outside her apartment, calling and hanging up. These are notes in his own writing, so there is no denying any of this to me now.

He then finds the other girl he made pregnant, at the same time as wife number one. So, now he divorces number one, and marries number two, on the same day the divorce from wife one was final.

Sad, but true.

I finally heard back from an investigating officer today. They took my complaint, faxed it over for me to sign, and they will be investigating it effectively tomorrow. Will anything be done? I don't know.

Will anything be done on my end? Yes, I sent back a letter that I got today, unopened. Return to sender.

Hope you are all well.

Love,
Zinnie

August 8, 2003
3:52 pm
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Brace yourselves one and all.

The investigating officer went out to the prison today and interviewed him. Told him that he was in direct violation of the Judge's orders.

His Mother called my house, and left a message. Screaming and crying. How could I do THIS to her baby (he is 52 years old for crying out loud), why am I doing this. They thought I was on his side. He is innocent, he is just wanting to know more about my family. Bullshit, I have four other children that he has not written to. They are also well over the age of 18.

My Dad called and left me a message, said that he had heard from his brother (this man's father), and he needs to talk to me. I guess I'll know more later.

Hope you are all well today.

Z.

August 8, 2003
3:59 pm
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Way to Go Zinnie!!!
You did good!

August 8, 2003
4:01 pm
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I knew that one was coming like a locomotive but you stand very firm here, Zinnie. And you owe NO ONE, not one of these people an explanation. They can think what they want, be upset at what they want but they are not GETTING what they want out of you anymore. They will never understand anything you have to say anyways. Party's over guys. I'm onto you and that's all you need to know. Get out of my way, leave me the hell alone and I will do as I see fit for me and my family and that means MY DAUGHTER, thank you very much, but no thank you!!! The facts are on the table, I read them and I'm acting on them, plain and simple, if you don't like it, you know what you can do with it! End of story, get out of my face and shut the hell up.

That is what you do with - these people. Have our number changed, get a P.O. Box, do whatever you have to but your NO means NO, okay?

August 8, 2003
4:10 pm
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We are checking into having our phone number changed. One of the problems being that my husband does a lot of independent consulting, and so our phone number is very established.

However, that is why we have caller i.d., and call block. Trust me, I use them.

Called my Dad. He told me what his brother had to say. Dad says in a way he feels sorry for him (his brother). I said "why" - he answered, because I think he knows very well what his son is about, but it must be hard to admit to that.

But, get this, my Dad backed me 100%. He told him "look, she has to watch our for herself and her family." He said, if he is so innocent, why is he already breaking the Judge's orders? If he is wanting to win on appeal, he sould be doing everything possible.

Anyway, bottom line Pop told me "just don't do anything else for him, if he calls here, we will hang up on him too."

Made me feel better.

Zinnie

August 8, 2003
4:17 pm
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I'm so glad that your dad is in your corner Zinnie. You could do this on your own but I think it helps you to know that your dad is behind you. I understand about the phone number change too. You are right that caller ID and call blocking comes in very handy. Technology is wonderful sometimes.

August 8, 2003
4:24 pm
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GO DAD!!! Hung that man's neck for me, okay? Good, good, good!!

August 9, 2003
1:40 am
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Well... the saga continues, and it get's worse.

I don't know if I shared this but, part of the reason I'm still in this sick picture for right now is that I have Power of Attorney for this a**hole. Taking care of his bills: storage, taxes, cc bills, whatever. Well, he receives a military pension, so thus far it has not been a problem. UNTIL...

His Mom found out how much money he had in the bank. Well, since then she has had an emergency each and every single month. So, he is calling or writing and having me send $500.00 for this, $200.00 for that. You get the point. Well, seems he has also given his Mother Power of Attorney.

I paid the bills this month, at the beginning of the month. Today, when I got home, there are notices in the mail that the checks have all bounced. Called the bank. Guess what? The account has been cleaned out, and the address has been changed to his Mother's address in NM.

Hubby and I talked about it, and we figure as I was not playing into what he wanted any more, he is having his Mom do it, or more than likely she is just withdrawing money and not paying the bills like she had been doing before I ever became involved in the whole mess. Part of the reason I ended up with this duty was because of that very reason. Mom was cashing in, and he was falling behind.

After all of this lovely info came about tonight, I called a friend to take the little one so hubby and I could have a one on one talk about this. I told him about the paperwork that I found the other night. I had not had the chance to tell him, and as we have my daughter right now, we have not had any free time to discuss this.

Well, to say he is angry right now is an understatement. Tomorrow I have to go to the bank to assess the damages of what all has happened, and to find out what exactly I'm going to be liable for. The last thing I need is someone coming after me for hot checks. Uh, did I mention I have a gov't job? Can't you just see that?

My husband very rarely get's mad. Just not in his make up. In thirteen and a half years of marriage, I can count on one hand the times he has been angry at me. I mean really angry, not the kind of "ugh, go to your end of the house for an hour!" I have never seen him as mad as I did tonight.

I told him why I feel even guiltier than ever right now. Feeling like I actually "helped" this monster. He was great... said hey you did not help him stalk, molest, rape, or what ever other sick things this man has done.

He also came up with an interesting point. He said you know the Judge ordered a DNA test be done upon his arrival at the prison. He said, Z, don't be shocked if unsolved rapes end up being matched to him. My gosh, I had not thought of that. He is probably right.

Once I assess the damages tomorrow, then I will have a better idea of what else I need to do. I have been so angry now for so many hours, I finally calmed down enough to even log on to update this.

I also talked to my Dad again. Dad, right now is going through some rough times physically. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer a month ago. However, talk about having someone watching over us, my sister's finace's Dad is the leading kidney transplant surgeon on the Eastern seaboard. He flew out to personally do the surgery at UCLA. They looked at it as a huge teaching experience, so Dad is in good hands. Anyway, as everyone is running around getting ready for my sis's wedding, he has been chilling out at home. Well, when I talked to him tonight, he had four of my sister-in-laws over there waiting on him hand and foot. So, he was livin' it up! But, he told me again "you need to take care of you period end of story!"

He said, this man put himself in this mess. Drop it, let it go. He said if he gets any more letters he too will send them back. He will not take any more phone calls either. He is really mad about the whole situation. He said he still feels bad for his brother, but he has no more sympathy for this jerk. My brothers and sister all feel the same, as well as my Mom.

I know my family is standing behind me, and for that I'm grateful. But, still... well you all know how I feel. At least I'm lucky enough to have the backing of friends and family, and all of you wonderful folks who have been pouring in your support.

Thanks for listening, and thanks for being my cheering section.

Oh Ladeska, I'll be happy to hug Dad for ya, but don't know if he wants me hangin' anything on him yet... hee hee!

Still angry, but getting better...
Zinnie

August 9, 2003
1:36 pm
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So.......can you get out of this Power of Attorney bit? If so, you need to like yesterday. This whole thing, any involvement with him is just going to be a complete nightmare. Unfortunately, getting untangled with him - is a nightmare. But you have to be vigilant about it and don't blame you one bit for being ANGRY!! Good for your husband, he needs to be angry as hell about all this. And so glad you family is backing you, too.

And DNA, is an interesting little thing. It has a habit of doing exactly what your husband said. Don't be surprised. I'm sure there are quite a few of his victims out there.

I'm so sorry this all such a mess and strain on you.... Have you gotten to read much in your books yet? Prolly not, would understand that one!

How long did you say this jerk is in for? And is there any possibility of him getting out earlier?

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