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bi polar
February 3, 2005
8:06 am
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karen2oo5
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could any one tell me anything about bi polar or manic depression

February 3, 2005
9:56 am
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CAMER
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my last bf had bipolar disorder and he was diagnosed this from his doctor at the age of 21, was asked by the doctor to get on meds, my bf refused...and he had huge mood swings, i mean HUGE.....i guess taking the meds would regulate his thoughts and behavior, but my bf had too much pride to want to be diagnosed with a mental disorder.

February 3, 2005
10:00 am
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Hi karen,

I saw your response to my post and I thank you for it! Bi-polar and manic depression are the same thing. I know you said something about your boyfriend? What kind/s of behavouir's is he exhibiting? I have been learning about this for awhile now and it is not an easy situation dealing with a person who has this. The person usually should be on meds and in therapy. Let me know and I'll try to help ok? Has he been diagnosed by a professional?

Hugs,

Sunny

February 3, 2005
10:37 am
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hi sunny, i am feeling really confused,as im not sure if he is a controlling person along with what he suffers from,so i need some help please,he has got worse and worse initially he was so kind now he is so unbareable,he has a bad temper,but it is so unexpected just when you are least expecting it,he hasent worked for 8mths,he has damaged some of my belongings,he dosent talk to me when things dont go his way,he thinks he is right about everything he thinks he is better than most people,he is really moody,He is currently on anti depressant but it dosent really help he has told me that his mums dad suffered from bi polar but i no this sounds horrible but i dont no what to beleive cause he lies to x karen

February 3, 2005
10:47 am
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karen2oo5
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hi camer,than you for replying,would it be ok if you told me more,cause i feel really confused right now , would you say that they are similar too controlling men cause ive also been in relationships with men that act and do ths same sort of things x karen

February 3, 2005
10:49 am
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karen,

I'm not sure if it is control or manic depression. Camer was right about mood swings. Ppl with this disorder usually are really really "up" or really really "down" They can't make rational decisions, they constantly change their minds, etc...There are specific meds targeted just for this disorder, Lithium being one. Have you searched the web for groups about this disorder? I went to one back in October I think it was and it really helped me because I didn't know what I was dealing with but I sure do now. If not treated by proper meds and therapy, it just gets worse. I'm living that now myself. My thoughts are with you, I'll be glad to help if I can.

Sunny

February 3, 2005
11:10 am
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karen2oo5
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thanks sunny, you have hit the nail rigth on the head i now realise what it is,thats been confusing me its the constant changing of his mind,first he wants to live with me then he dosent,someone is ok then they are not,we arrange to do something then we dont do it,and so on this has been his pattern since we met,this has managed to throw me right of track leaving me with severe depression at one point x karen

February 3, 2005
11:41 am
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bkc
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I have bi-polar disorder, just a mild case. It can be contagious. I drive more than a few of the people around me crazy.

If an s/o won't get help, then it's just like alcoholism or drug abuse. Anyone who supports that person is co-dependant.

February 3, 2005
11:49 am
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marley
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I think that is funny that you say it is contagious. I never thought of it that way but I guess it is true

February 3, 2005
12:13 pm
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hi bkc my name is karen thank you for reply , i started this thread today in hope of some answers,to my last two years with someone who i thought was gonna be ok for once but it turns out to of been a nitemare,dont get me wrong i have many feelings for him but,he is so unpredictable i dont no if im coming or going,please would you be able to give me more insight on bi polar with some of the things that you may do . i would also welcome any one elses input thanks karen2oo5

February 3, 2005
12:48 pm
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Karen2oo5-

There is a thread titled "What is Bi-Polar" that might be able to provide some information for you. I wrote a lengthy post on that one, describing my experiences as a person with Bipolar I disorder. I will repost it here, if it is all irrelevant to you, then don't read it, as it is rather lengthy, but it jsut explains what I went through and what some of the symptoms of bipolar disorder are. I mention something to you at the bottom also. Good luck to you.

Previous post begins HERE:

Well, I am bi-polar. I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar I disorder. This is the one that you are referring to, Aces & Spades, where you experience both stages of mania and depression. (There is a bipolar II disorder which is where you pretty much only have the depression of it. A bipolar III exists also, this is the one that Jane Pauly experiences. I don't know anything about this one.)

I will explain how I came to be diagnosed first, and then I will answer your questions individually. I can't go into too much detail, because I'm afraid it would reveal my identity if someone I know were to be on the site.

My family has a history of bipolar disorder, but no one really addressed it, not even after my sister (who has BP II) attempted suicide. Four times. During college, I was under alot of stress, and it aggrevated the illness. I started to go into a manic stage, before I even recognized BP illness in myself. I had never been to a psychiatrist in my life, never even thought of myself as having it. It took a long time for me to come to terms with it once I finally was aware of it.

I had a complete mental breakdown after my second year, and my parents had to come get me. It was so bad that I had no idea where I was or how to get home or how to drive. I was in a state of mania, but it was about to get even worse. The strange thing was, that as I was experiencing it, I didn't know I was being so weird. I felt fine, I just felt hyper or something. Because our family had denied our illness for so long, no one knew what to do now.

Well, I ended up in a hospital, and eventually I got better. Slowly. Painfully slowly. I couldn't sleep for days becuase I had soo much energy, I would just pace and my thoughts were moving at such an incredible speed that eventually I couldn't even keep up. I couldn't concentrate long enough to read so I wrote letters to myself in third person and basically had conversations with myself.

Well, I was put on Zyprexa immediately and after going through a bout of depression, where I slept for days at a time and really coudln't do much of anything, just watched TV alot, then I was able to get back to school thank goodness. I am able to manage things now after changing through some meds and stuff, but wow, it takes alot to keep track of myself. I can't do things like everyone else, like I have to be very careful abotu how much sleep I get, what I eat, what I drink (hardly any alcohol anymore) and so on. Sometimes I get angry ("Why do I have to be so careful when everyone else can do what they want without the risk of losing their minds?") but I understand now that it is an illness just like diabetes (that's what the brochures explain at least!) where you just have to be aware of it and take care of yourself in certain ways that others don't.

"Losing one's mind" is a good way to describe how it feels to experience a severe state of mania. Because I certainly didn't feel like myself, and no one around me thought I was acting like myself. Wow, it was really a very strange experience, and it has changed alot about how I see myself. I tend to be very self-conscious now, often afraid that it could occur again. I always worry that people can notice it in me, on days when I feel a little manic or a little slow from the depression. But no one really can tell anyway. It's mostly jsut in my head.

You get sick of taking the meds, and alot of people try to get off them, often with not much success. I myself am too afraid to stop taking them, cause I don't want to go through what I went through again. I've never been quite the same since then, and I miss how I used to be.

So Aces, one of your questions was what are the symptoms? Well, everyone has a different experience. With me I can tell I am feeling a little manic when I start to feel overly excited, overly happy, where I am just like, "Oh wow! Life is so amazing, blah blah blah" and when I talk too much or too fast (rambling speech or racing thoughts are two known symptoms.) And a symptom of depression is where I just don't feel liek doing anything, where you just, in general, feel empty. And I cry alot. And try to sleep through it.

If someone refuses to take their meds, and they do have bipolar disorder, then they will have symptoms. A very common thing is for it to escalate in cycles. For example, they will have a mild manic episode, then a depression soon after. Then another manic one that is more severe, then a depression that is more severe, and so on (if they are BP II). You get my point.

Eventually, as in my case, I got to the point where I coudln't function at all, I couldn't sleep or eat and I pretty much needed medical help. This is not true for all people. I woudl suggest finding out more general info online, also.

Hope this was worth something. I don't know, I thought it might give a little understanding outside of the textbook definitions, although those are just as important.

Refuse2GiveUp

Karen2oo5: Just wanted to add that I can be very irritable when things aren't balanced, such as if I forget to take my meds or something. I also have a slightly higher-than-normal temper, which could be related to the disorder, but maybe not.

I think that until your partner recognizes and deal with his problem (if he has one) then he won't be able to heal, and neither will you. I hope things get better for you.

Peace. Refuse2GiveUp

February 3, 2005
1:09 pm
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karen2oo5
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hi thanks for that but thats just it i dont know if he has really got bi polar or if he is a control freak or if he is both help!

February 3, 2005
1:13 pm
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marley
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karen - only a doctor will really be able to tell you and even then it isn't an exact science. Bi-polar people generally can go from happy go lucky to bawling in about 1 second for no apparent reason. If he doesn't have any sort of truly unpredictable mood swings then he probably isn't bi-polar.

Example - I woke up yesterday and was depressed. Nothing happened, just totally bummed out, can't seem to shake it. I would be willing to be serious money by the end of the day today or tomorrow I will be ecstatic about something and it will all be in my head as a result of the chemicals in my body. Bi-polar people just act and emote, they very rarely have reasons.

This is not to say that he isn't controlling as well - we are still human.

February 3, 2005
1:25 pm
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Hi Karen. I am 51 years old and have just recently 1 week ago been diagnosed bipolar/depressed. Go figure. My youngest son was just daignosed a couple of months ago as manic/bipolar2, and my oldest son is bipolar, refuses to take meds for it, and he has mood swings, but he intends to try to do it himself and get it under control...which knowing him he will.
I hate to see this referred to as a "mental illness", as if you met me, or my sons you would see that we are not mentally ill. However from what I understand it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, and must be treated with medicine. Personally I am feeling much better.
My youngest would have mood swings that were causing him to have abnormal sleep patterns, which caused his school work to suffer, etc., etc. Now he is feeling and doing much better from taking medication.

There are many things that affect the mania/depression of this illness...stress can throw someone so completely off balance if they are not taking meds, sleep deprivation can cause depression, many factors figure in. One thing to keep in mind if you are dating a bipolar person is that it is not your fault. I will post later on this thread some information I have obtained, websites for you to look at, I even subscribe to a bipolar newsletter in an email, just to understand what it is all about. One article I received yesterday, talks about how hared it may be to date a bipolar person. Best of luck to you, and remember it is not your fault, but if he does not get help, or work very hard to get it undercontrol, then you may be in for a roller coaster of a life.

February 3, 2005
1:31 pm
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On my way-

Could you please post some info from that article about dating a person with Bipolar disorder?

I am interested in seeing that. Thank you.

Refuse2GiveUp

February 3, 2005
1:42 pm
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Bi-polar people show as much variation as anyone else, we're all different. What distinguishes us is that our mood swings (everyone has them, bi-polar, non bi-polar) cause us problems. Some of us go from psychotic mania to catatonic depression (some even cycle between these extremes very quickly at times.) As for me, sometimes I sit around my house all day and sleep a lot, sometimes I talk fast. My psychiatrist described me as grandiose, but I don't agree with him.

It has caused me problems. I started law school 15 years ago, but I still haven't finished. Worked through to the very last day, then gave up.

February 3, 2005
1:47 pm
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karen2oo5
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thanx Marley and Refuse2give up sorry if i sound uncaring by calling my sort of ex controlling,but i feel ike a headless chicken right now,we have recently split up and this is why i am trying to find out what was up,cause what we split up over wouldnt seem like someone with bi polar would do even though i no that their behaviour can be extreme this was extreme behaviour so im trying for some answers x karen

February 3, 2005
2:02 pm
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CAMER
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Karen, my last bf that i mentioned who was bipolar was also alcoholic...and yes controlling...and both active alcoholism and bipolar....i never knew what was going on, between when I thought he was going to drink, or if he was just moody cuz he didn't drink in a few weeks...this combines alot of huge huge mood swings, one minute we were looking at furniture in a store, excited and happy and seconds later he was extremely upset for whatever reason....i seriously thought he just had issues with controlling his drinking habits, but it was his untreated bipolar combined with his
active drinking that made him this way.

February 3, 2005
4:24 pm
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karen2oo5
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thanks camer,sounds very much like my situation,im now trying o move on but am finding it hard as he also was very kind or seemed to be,but thats what is hard the nice bits,but recently he has behaved very hurtful towards me and that is why i wanted to no was it down to controling or bi polar ,x karen

February 3, 2005
4:43 pm
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bk, what kind of medicines do you take? My youngest son has a very, very high IQ, could have a 4.0 if he even barely worked at it. But he is bipolar2. However he is taking medicine..Depakote and Seroquel to balance moods and help him sleep. He feels so much better. I ws just diagnosed, I feel so much better in that I am resting, I am more focused, that person that was buried in depression is coming alive again and looking at where I have been and saying, I have to do something about that, it is important, where as before I would do the low self-esteem thing, retreat, and become overwhelmed, over analyze, and drive myself and those around me nutso.

Law school is awesome, why did you change your mind if you don't mind me asking?

February 3, 2005
6:34 pm
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CAMER
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Karen, if you don't mind me asking, is your bf an alcoholic or have drinking issues???

February 3, 2005
11:10 pm
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I don't take meds anymore. They just treated my depression with prozac and depakote and sent me on my way. Depakote can have some nasty side effects. I lost my 4 upper front teeth. Prozac by itself turned me into the energizer bunny.

I didn't change my mind, I froze. Back in 1993. Still frozen. I was going to Columbia, one of the top schools in the country. It was all just too much for me. I'm bi-polar spectrum, not quite bipolar 2. I can get pretty depressed, but the mania and obssessiveness are subtle. I don't get psychotic, but I did get close once or twice in my 20's.

February 3, 2005
11:23 pm
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So if you are not going to pursue law school, what do you want to do?

February 3, 2005
11:41 pm
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I want to finish law school, I work as a clerk for a lawyer, and I've done that for the past 10 years. Also I work part-time for a local politition.

February 3, 2005
11:57 pm
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Well I hope it all works out for you. I love law, would have gone to Law school many years ago, but did not have the time or the resources...or maybe I wanted other things more> BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.

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