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bf on crack
February 24, 2005
12:27 am
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stardj0
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just having such a hard time today with him i have been crying all day..went to my first alanon meeting..was a bundle of nerves and did everything i could to NOT cry there while i was talking about him..but i think i have to cut all ties with him.. i love and worship and care so deeply for him..but he wont even return my calls anymore and told me i have the mentality of a 5 year old..because i told him maybe i would be better off dating other people..he hasnt called me since and has shut of his phone also.. he is out using tonight im sure i went by his place and his car isnt there..well take care all..hope you guys are doing better than i am tonight..

February 24, 2005
12:32 am
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mamacinnamon
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Stardj0

Sorry for your pain. Sometimes decisinos are not easy ones are they. You keep going to alanon and comeing hre to post.

February 24, 2005
1:42 am
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addicts wife
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Star~~
I am so sorry that you are havingsuch a tough time today. These decisions are not easy, but often the hardest ones are the best for us, in te long run.
I am glad youre going to meetings, andI knowhow hard they can be, But i am proud of you for going,andbeing able to get in the door.
Keep going!!! 🙂 and keep posting here, ventign does wonders!!
take care.
(((((HUGS))))))

February 24, 2005
7:44 am
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stardj0
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well..after i posted this thread..i got a call from him and he told me the reason he hasnet called me is because he has been so depressed a lot the last few days..told me he is trying to stay off crack and feels it is part of the whthdrawls..but he told me he really loves me and misses me so much and asked if we could spend the day today(thursday) together..it is his day off of work..so i told him that i would LOVE to..he told me he is going to call me after he gets back from his meeting today..so we will see if he really is serious about all of this..i pray that he is..i am going to continue to go to meetings also and try to be strong..there is a part of me that says to give him a chance to prove himself..but i just have to figure out how LONG that chance should be...one day at a time..if today turns out to be a good day with him..then i feel it was worth it ..but if not..then that will only give me more reason to cut all my ties with him..so im going to go for it and try once more..this is like a big merry go round..or rollercoaster to me...and i cant for the life of me understand WHY i LOVE him SO much..and CARE so deeply for him..i guess that is what i have to find out for myself...take care everyone..and hope everyone here has a nice day today...

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