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best friend
March 7, 2005
12:10 pm
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queenie
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This is my first time on a on-line discussion, but I need help. My best friend (she has said this) has moved on in life. We are still friends, but I am devistated. She has been my main support and now she is not. I have thought in the past that I am codependent, but from this episode I know I am. I could be the poster child for codependency. I am see a counselor, but what else can I do? This hurts so bad and I know I have to change, to make my life one I like. Any suggestions?

March 7, 2005
12:16 pm
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Big heart
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Moved on in life to what degree? Has she recently been married, had children? What does she mean by that?

March 7, 2005
12:57 pm
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queenie
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She's found a woman she is having a "dating" relationship with. Their relationship recently moved to that level. This is a new "experience" for her, so it is all very exciting and fun for her.

March 7, 2005
1:12 pm
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Well thats kinda " dogg" if you ask me. Everyone begins new relationships but you don't distance yourself from your friends. It makes me wonder if her new girlfriend is jelouse or the controlling type. Try not to let it bother you. Respect her request and back off. If you two were really good friends she will come around. If not, then her loss and in the meantime go socialize. Meet knew people who will enjoy your company.

March 7, 2005
1:13 pm
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Anonymous
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Well I think that you should be happy for her that she has found someone to be with. Sometimes, when people are always there for you, they get tired of always giving. It also sounds like you could learn from this about how to be okay with being with yourself and as well as making new friends.

March 7, 2005
1:39 pm
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Cici
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Every time one of my friends starts a new relationship they bug out on everyone for a few weeks but eventually get back into the groove and start associating with their old friends again.

Give it some time.

March 7, 2005
2:59 pm
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kathygy
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I can understand feeling devestated. I once had two best friends end the friendship with me because they were moving on with their lives. I felt very hurt. It was awful but I had many other close friends. Its important to have more than one best friend. If she was your only close friend than that can be too much of a burden. Branch out and develop a handful of close friends. When my best friend got married she was very sensitive to its efffects on me and did what she could to reassure me and include me in her life. Just because someone starts a new relationship it doesn't mean they have to abandon you. It doens't necessarily mean you've lost her for all time.

March 7, 2005
7:43 pm
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queenie
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Thank you, everyone. I know all of this in my head, it's just hard getting the heart to listen. It helps to have it repeated to me many times.

March 7, 2005
7:47 pm
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orangeboy
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it sounds like maybe she's codependent too maybe, if she can't have a friendship and a relationship at the same time?

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