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being the other woman is getting old
March 25, 2006
6:19 am
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dreamer123
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September 27, 2010
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talking like this helps somehow. Guess I am really confused. Yes I think about her too in all of this. From what I understand she is very sweet and very successful in her career. I have seen pictures and she is very pretty too. But I have also been told that she too is very unhappy. There is a possibility she is having an affair too. I look back at my failed marriage (after 16 yrs) and I see where we just wasted years of each others lives being unhappy. This guy and his wife are very intelligent people. Why couldnt either of them figure this out? We talk about the future and at times I find myself really doubting it will ever happen, and I know that could very much be the outcome. I am pushing for him to make a move somehow, yet, I am not the pushy , demanding type so I dont think he is getting the hint that this is really getting old. I have said those exact words to him too. Just gotta figure it all out. I am the one who made the decision to do this and now I have to be the one to decide what next. I just love him in a way I have never ever felt with anyone before. Its something I cant put into words.

March 25, 2006
7:47 am
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kc30
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My stbx husband cheated on me...he told the other woman the same things about our marriage (he wasnt' happy, the love was gone blah blah), but they weren't true- 2 weeks before he started it, he was telling me that he loved me more every day than the day before...how blessed he was to have me...he was actually really good to me, and I was crazy in love with him...we had a ton of friends- people wanted a relationship like ours.

Then he saw an opportunity to be "the man", or he had some sort of breakdown...I still don't understand it (he's an alcoholic and drinking played a part) and BOOM...he's cheating! I couldn't believe it! Noboday could.

He lied horrendously about our life together...of course he would have to say it was crappy. How else would he justify what he was doing, and why would the other woman stick around if he told her the truth "Oh, my wife is great and there's really nothign wrong in our marriage, I'm just a selfish jackass who wants his cake and eat it too"

When I found out about the affair, he told me all kinds of horrible things about the other woman...how crazy she was, how she pursued him, how he had tried to end it but she wouldn't go away, she was pathetic, he felt sorry for her, blah blah blah....it wasn't true. She worshipped him and did everythign for him. Lies lies lies.

Don't mean to be harsh, but I've seen this first-hand. Cheaters are liars...if he would lie to the woman he swore to honour, why would you think he's telling you the truth? You deserve better than this...we all deserve better than a liar and cheater, no matter how nice of a package they may come in.

kc

March 25, 2006
10:04 am
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taj64
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Well said KC. It is good to hear from both sides of the fence, believe me. It is hard to hear. I'll bet the married guy I fell for did the same, run to her and tell her all this same stuff. Im a good person, believe in marriage and want a healthier love. I didn't deserve it. After this experience, I would rather be alone and happy then to ever fall for a cheater. Im so sorry you have to go through that pain KC. I really am.

March 25, 2006
10:21 am
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Zinnie
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Here is a new twist for all of you...

I am the child of a "multi-marriage" family. My Dad? Is a serial marrying man! Yes, he is... he is on wife number five, and is he down for the count? Probably not.

I will share this with you - true story - I have had this convesation with three of his wives, yes, I really have.

They were shocked and hurt when he left them for someone else - "how could he have done that to me????" To which my reply (and don't get me wrong, I do love all of my step-mothers - I have to admit, Dad marry's nice women) was "well, isn't that how YOU met him?" And, guess what? All of their replies were the same "well, yes, but!"

Cut, your losses, once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve more.

Z.

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