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being honest with myself
February 4, 2005
1:56 pm
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marley
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well this week has really really sucked but I think I am finally being honest with myself. I have spent my whole life being completely brain washed by my father and now I need to start setting boundaries. I need some advice.

February 4, 2005
2:41 pm
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kathygy
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Can you give some more information? In what way are you being true to your self that you weren't in the past?

February 4, 2005
3:47 pm
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CAMER
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Marley, how did your dad "brainwash" you???

February 4, 2005
3:53 pm
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workinonit
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Often, the only thing you recieve your whole life Marley becomes the only thing you wil ever know.

I for one, am very happy for you because many of us go our whole lives never getting out of the prisons inflicted upon us by unsuspecting (at least I hope so) parents.

You seem as if you are thinking for yourself. Be proud of that!!!!!!!

February 4, 2005
3:57 pm
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addicts wife
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well, It's never too late to start a brand new, freah page for yourself... Don't devalue or dishonor yourself, and remember the only way to truly get what ou want is to rid yourself of what you dont want.." < < I heard this today, and It realy sank in, hope you find it insightful, and inspiring....

February 4, 2005
4:52 pm
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marley
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hey thanks all! My father (and my step father as well) have pretty much spent my whole life telling me that I will never be good enough for any job, career, man, child, anything. Somehow I believe it - even when my ex boyfriends tell me that my father is crazy and I need to stay away from him (he is incredibly manipulative) I can't seem to because he is my father and he is not supposed to do things to hurt me. He is supposed to want to help me. When I look back on my life and in light of the conversation I had this morning, I see that it is true. My father has been brainwashing me for years until I have begun to believe that I never will be good enough. I think it is because if he can beat me down all of the time then I will never be independent from him. Even though he says he wants me to be independent he refuses to leave me alone and tries to control almost every aspect of my life. Don't get me wrong, he isn't creepy or anything - he is just very controlling. I can't believe that I have been so blind for so long. For years I have resented him but I thought it was just a personality conflict.

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