Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
becoming healthy!
November 9, 2009
7:28 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

my biggest issiue is rejection... im in a dance club, other guy is a big part off... my question is this...I love dancing, i go for the dancing, to meet my friends and its a big part of my social life...this guy dont speak to me in person but if i ask anything through text he'l answer me..the healty me now is saying, if im feeling hurt by his rejection, in ignoring me as a human being, should i stay away,cos how can i become healthy by keeping myself there, i need to heal, it hurts me..ive let go of so many people from my life cos they kept hurting and disrespecting me as a human being..any ideas in me finding a way to stay, and still become healthy???

November 9, 2009
7:49 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Darkeyes I think you already know the answer to this. Every time you see this man it dredges up emotions in you. Which is worse the certainty of pain or the pain of uncertainty. Would you continue to hit your thumb with a hammer because that is pretty much what you are doing. He won't leave the dance group you have to decide which is more important.

Bitsy

November 9, 2009
8:15 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

bitsy i do.. its a hugh loss from my life, its something im trying to save. id go somewhere else if there was a place to go but its limited here..my friends travel a good distance also to meet up on these nights so il lose them also..its my feelings of being hurt by someone just passing me, no matter who it was, unfortnatly its him, that im trying to work through...

November 9, 2009
8:30 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know honey. I was hurt in that R just inserted Woman B into Woman A's slot and never missed a beat. 2 years later I am still hanging out here and haven't met anyone. I have struggled with a few friendships since then. I pretty much only have 4 friends. I KNOW it is hard to give up something you love but it appears you are going to have to in order to get over this man. When is he leaving for surgery? Is he still going through with the surgery? What is up with all of that?

Bitsy

November 9, 2009
8:51 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

its not about him anymore, its me trying to recover from rejection, he has moved on to a new guy, is open with his sexuality now... he told me he was leaving soon but i cant see that happening... i dont text him anymore so i dont know whats happening with his life... see i understand why it happened for me, i fell in love with him to come out of this place i was hiding within, it was time and safe for me, if you can understand....my councelor said 3 mths ago it was the first time she has met the real me, so ive come along way in all this... i am healing and becoming healthy.....

November 9, 2009
9:03 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well then, I don't understand the problem. He is open about his sexuality. He is leaving. You want to be in the dance group. How is this unhealthy for you?

Bitsy

November 9, 2009
9:15 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

see this as a picture!!group of people in same room, all chating and dancing haveing fun,,all going well,, i say something, but others have to bring him into conversation, what i say might have been right but he says something to suggest to others ignore her, what she has to say isnt important, i just fume inside then,get hurt..its rejection red flag... i cant understand why he bothers, why he need to belittle me in front of others i do him no harm...its unhealthy for me when i keep getting hurt. im tying to find a way...

November 9, 2009
9:21 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Then leave the group. There is some sort of dynamic going on where they are playing you against each other and he is having fun at your expense. They can only do this if you continue to allow it. It doesn't sound as though they are your friends. I love to dance myself and haven't danced with anyone since the last time R and I went out. How long is that???? You have got to take care of yourself and obviously these people are not healthy for you. Find something else to do. Could you teach some young girls to dance?

Bitsy

November 9, 2009
9:31 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thanks bitsy, you just confirmed what i was seeing was reality..there is some sort of dynamic going on in there... i can sort that for me now, without giving up the dancing... il look for some one to teach me how to teach dance, so i can fill the void... its all a game with these people... life has a way of sorting that out too...see i always said there was something wrong with me when it isnt me at all......

November 9, 2009
9:37 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

We do have to take personal responsibility but not EVERYTHING is our fault. I bet a lot more of these people knew what was going on and they have been observing. If you are anything like me, I don't have a poker face. Whatever I am thinking is written all over my face.

Bitsy

November 9, 2009
9:51 am
Avatar
darkeyes
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

same here..my body dont lie...imagain anyone laughing at anothers pain.. i would never in all my pain go where these people go to hurt anyone.....yes all these peple knew i had feelings for this guy, but i was never the one lying to anyone still not.. i never ever said a bad word to any of these people.... they wont know now what'l hit them...i'll be still there long after he'l be well gone..i took responsibilty for everything everyone did when it had nothing to do with me ever..theres a reason for everything, its all destiny!!!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110914
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38535
Posts: 714196
Newest Members:
Striker1s, marcusz, Keara, Venn, Jolebio, loni89
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer