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Balance
May 31, 2004
11:43 am
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May 31, 2004
11:49 am
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Okay not sure what happened but let's try this again.
I was reading randomly out of "The Language of Letting Go" and I came across this meditation called "Balance" it all makes sense and I understand what it is saying I was just wondering what everyones opinons and stratagies are in achieving what she is talking about.
So here is the meditation and any feedback would be great!!

Balance
Seek balance.
Balance emotions with reason.
Combine detachment with doing our part.
Balance giving with receiving.
Alternate work with play, business with personal activites.
Balance tending to our spiritual needs with tending to our other needs.
Juggle responsiblities to others with responsiblities to ourselves.
Balance caring about others with caring about ourselves.
Whenever possible, let's be good to others, but be good to oursevles too.
Some of us have to make up for lost time.

Today I will strive for balance.

That is from Melony Beattie's Language of Letting go..

This meditation makes so much sense. Yet often I struggle with keeping balance.. What does everyone here do to obtain balance in their lives???

May 31, 2004
12:25 pm
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dree
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great meditation! Thanks for sharing it!
It's helping me jump start my day..little bit of work, little bit of laundry, little bit of diva-ing time (gotta change the nail polish), little bit of biking...

xoxoox
Dree

May 31, 2004
5:30 pm
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That's funny I have changed my nail polish, laundry, dinner, and went to the lake earlier to work on my tan.. 🙂 Sounds like we have had a similar day..

May 31, 2004
5:35 pm
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I try to pay attention to how I feel, and go with it.
I try to take an hour every day just for me.
And I make schedules. I have scheduled time for me...Wednesday nights. I get to do whatever I want. Usually, it boils down to not much!
I try not to do things I really don't want to...that leads to resentment. And I try to focus on the positive in my life.
I write down my goals, and figure out how to accomplish them.
Things aren't perfect, but I definitely feel more balanced and focused!

May 31, 2004
5:43 pm
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Yeah my husband gives me a hard time because threw the week I have a routine well it starts when I wake up and then after work. But with my routine I find comfort. The weekend is diffrent. And yes when I take time for me that helps too!!!

May 31, 2004
11:55 pm
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dree
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you go smiles, with your awesome self!!!
I'm going to get that book! :O)
xoxoDree

June 1, 2004
1:30 pm
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Thanks dree it is an awsome book and sometimes just in a moment it can help you change your perspective on something.. Well me anyway but I tend to live in my head much more than I should. Also "Journey to the Heart" is another one of Melony Beattie's books.. She is my favorite authour can ya tell?? 😉

June 1, 2004
1:42 pm
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balance is such a good thing, i do this too by cleaning and laundry one nite, grocery shopping and errands another nite, walking the dogs for an hour another nite, going to my coda meetings another nite, and yard work the next nite, I even hang out with my friends on the weekends, this way I balance my life with everything I need to take care of, and still have time for doing my nails and deep conditioning my hair etc!!! balance is so good, good for the mind and soul instead of just focusing on the
"mind" and "him".

June 1, 2004
1:55 pm
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That's an excellent meditation. So much of my stress comes from going to extremes. I will need this meditation in the next month- my last few weeks of school before I finish my degree. Too much of my time, energy, health is spent on something that could probably be achieved with a lot more efficiency. No doubt, I'm a workaholic! Relationships...well that's a whole other ball game!

June 1, 2004
2:05 pm
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I like it when I'm thinking hard about a particular thing and then start to feel like I'm on the right track because I run into more information about it. I have been focusing a lot on finding balance lately. It's harder than I thought it would be.

I, too, am a person who lives in extremes. I work hard in my job. It is one of the most stressful jobs anyone can do. I'm also a single parent. And though my love life is going great, I have lots of issues with my family of origin. So, when I play, I tend to play in extreme ways and this is not always healthy. Yet it still leaves me feeling better, more relaxed and sort of decompressed. I wonder if there are others who play as hard as they work, and if you ever get input from others about how you choose to "play".

I guess I'm looking for affirmation... Smiles, I hope you don't feel like I'm using your thread in an inappropriate way. I'm just wondering how others with lots of stress "play". Maybe I'll start a thread about this...

Thanks for the information!

Ren'ai

June 1, 2004
3:06 pm
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REN'AI: i too am sometimes a workaholic, but what I recognize is that I can only do so much in so much time, I can't do it all, and I refuse to let myself get stressed out cuz of work. If I pace myself, and be easy on my mind and do what I can do, I am happy, whatever I can't do, I leave that for another time. Balance is so good in the stressful working atmosphere.

June 1, 2004
8:41 pm
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The best way for me to relieve stress is laughter. Has anyone ever noticed that the more often you laugh the better you feel. I don't let the little girl in me out to play near as often as I should. When I do let her out wow I feel so much better. I don't know of anyone who gets headaches, back pain and so on from laughing. The reason I brought up the little girl in me is because when I laugh normally that is where it is coming from and she feels nourished. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else. I just know when I take life to serious "stress" is much more difficult to handle and there seems to be more of it..

June 1, 2004
8:44 pm
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Ohh also Ren'ai I don't feel you are using the thread in an inappropriate way. I just love to get others input. And my mind has so much going on all the time.. It's funny you said that though because I am not a member of many forums and this is the only one I come to daily and for awhile I thought maybe I was saying or doing something wrong.. But I didn't really think there were any particular rules except common curiousy..
Thanks everyone for sharing 🙂

June 3, 2004
1:11 pm
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You know, in certain kinds of jobs, your sense of humor gets twisted. I am stating this as a warning, I guess, because if there is anyone out there who works as or is close to someone in law enforcement, a paramedic, nurse, social worker, fireman/woman, etc. seeing such tragedy all the time has a big influence on a person. So, yes, I laugh. Usually not at things that others might find funny, though.

A couple of days ago I was laughing so hard I thought I pulled an ab muscle and was going to end up with a hernia. Laughing feels good.

However, sometimes I like to drink too much, or drive too fast. I don't mix the two, so don't worry about that. Still, the driving thing, it puts others at risk. Sometimes I like to spend too much. Sometimes I want to have anonymous sex. These are not the best ways of coping. They are extreme. So, if I say to myself "I work an extreme job, therefore this justifies my need to find extreme ways to play." it makes sense. That is until someone with more brains than me steps up and says...

June 3, 2004
8:58 pm
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We can only do what we can with what we have at that very moment. Nothing more nothing less. And to me life is about lessons... If you do something and feel it wasn't right then take it as a learning experience and go on..
Who is perfect and I thought that is what life is all about learning as we go. As long as you learn the lesson why feel guilty extreme or not those are your coping mechanisims. You have a right to them right? And they are part of your journey in life.. You have that right.... 😉

June 4, 2004
1:28 am
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the extreme ways to play seem like a cry for something....they could result in drunkardness, an accident for you and other innocent people, an unwanted sexual disease or going broke. If the job is your crutch for these dangerous actions, do you think perhaps the job is not good for you? I understand that codpendents seek jobs that are about helping and fixing people. I believe in serving others, definitely, but not at the risk of losing myself to destruction.
Just my thoughts.
Dree

June 4, 2004
2:53 pm
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Believe me I have been giving a LOT of thought to making a big change in my career. I just haven't decided to what.

Thank you for your input. What you are saying is very true!

June 5, 2004
1:33 am
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I'll pray for you tonight, girlfriend.
Dree~

June 5, 2004
1:35 am
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ps..sounds like you're on the right track.

June 5, 2004
10:57 am
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Thank you, Dree, and to everyone. Smiles, I appreciate your affirmation. There is a part of me that feels like I have a right to play hard. I also know that I have to be more responsible. After all, I'm a parent. Even though my kids are older, I still need to consider them.

I'm going to try to make some sense here, and I hope it works.

I feel like for many of us, balance is like being on a LONG teeter-totter, with each end representing an extreme. One end represents that high risk taking extreme. The other end represents the uptight, can't have any fun extreme.

Maybe balance means trimming down the length of the teeter-totter until it is so narrow that you can simply walk the line.

And no, I'm not drunk or on drugs. I do appreciate this thread. It has really made me do some thinking.

Ren'ai

June 5, 2004
2:46 pm
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Ren'ai I truly believe we learn what we need to when the time is right. Yes I would love to know how to balance my life. Okay emotions more than my life. I have become that uptight person that doesn't seem to laugh much anymore and I don't like being here. Laughter has always been the best medicine for me. Like I said life is a learning experience we don't learn the behaviors we have been practicing overnigh neither will we find the answers. It's through trial and error that we learn what works and what doesn't. But I am with you one of my main goals is to find balance and learn how to apply it in my life.. So if you come up with something before I do please share.

June 5, 2004
3:09 pm
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Smiles, and anyone else willing to comment, what is your take on crying?

I find this to be a big stumbling block for me a lot of times. I will feel I need to cry but hold back because of pride, or feeling like someone will think I'm weak. As I re-learn how to cry, I find I'm re-learning how to laugh.

I know I'm getting somewhere, just not sure "where".

Ren'ai

June 5, 2004
8:18 pm
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I cry often. I have learned that I pick and choose when. That's when I can hold back that long. But there was a time when I couldn't cry and wondered what was wrong with me. Now I realize that It was to overwhelming. And there are still times I try not to because I am afraid if I start I won't stop. When I do wow I feel so much better... It is a good release but don't feel comfortable doing so even in fron of others. The more I have become in touch with whats going on inside me the harder it is to hold back like it once was... Do you feel like if you start you won't stop?

June 5, 2004
8:27 pm
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I have felt like that a lot of times. I know it's a physical impossibility. I mean, you are going to tire out eventually. You can't cry forever. It's too physically taxing.

I am learning to cry, though. I have someone in my life right now that I can cry in front of without feeling uncomfortable. Most of the time though I would rather get in the car, go for a drive and cry. No one can see or hear me. I can listen to whatever kind of music I want. If I get the sudden urge to scream bad words or just scream for the sake of screaming I can.

I think about how when we are babies and we cry, our parents goal is to make us stop. Maybe that's not such a great idea.

Ren'ai

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