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bah ,humbug!!
December 14, 2001
10:10 am
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artist
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OK, I feel like whining. It's Friday, we are having a department holiday lunch today, (good food ,boring people)--which I should feel good about 'cause free food is free food after all-- BUT my cat's sick.
The little bugger developed a urinary tract problem--just noticed it yesterday. Had him checked out about 2 weeks ago when he stopped using his litter box and his urine test came back free of infection--the b.f. took him back to the vet this morning and the lady vet--there are 2 at this clinic and the man saw my cat the last time--says that his bladder is swollen and put him on antibiotics and kitty cat valium--she says if there is no improvement by later today they may have to catheterize him and then if that doesn't work--maybe surgery.
So, my cat is in the hospital getting high and I'm out here footing the bill at the WORST time.
Someone remind me what Christmas spirit is again, please. I'm about ready to set an elf or two on fire.
Sorry, I'll get off the soap box, now.
Later.
Artist :O--that's me screaming.

December 14, 2001
10:18 am
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artist 2
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Hm. If it were me, I'd eat abnoxiously, burp, then leave before the guest speaker gets started. Tell everyone you have an emergency at the vet's office. That should lighten up the boring ones.

December 14, 2001
10:25 am
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artist I am really sorry about your cat. I have four and I love each and everyone of them like kids. I'll say alittle prayer for him/her. Christmas sprirt to me is giving and you are giving your cat a second chance at life so he can give love back to you. Hell money is just a object, live is special. As far as setting a couple of elfs fire hell go for it!!! I thing that would be a great release. (LOL)

December 14, 2001
10:55 am
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artist
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He's a him--Gabby is his name--because he wouldn't shut up from the moment I brought him home--all mouth and ears and as big as the palm of my hand. Thanks for the reminder about the spirit thing, damaged. I really wouldn't set an elf on fire--elves are life forms and violence against life forms has a way of getting back at you--it's just me expecting things to go well at holiday time and to be fair--when I'm old enough to know better--ain't nothin' fair---

BUT--

B-B-B-B-U-U-U-U-R-R-R-R-P!!!

A-A-A-H-H-H!!!! What a release!!

They already think I'm strange, 2--
I do not dress for success-- wear power suits and expensive jewelry-- I wear a lot of bright colors and my own beaded jewelry and I am not a corporate clown--so I will tell them the story of my kitty cat on downers and let the chips fall where they may AND you can be sure that I will pig out and be as outrageous as possible--I'm in the mood. Thanks for the support. I feel better.
Artist:)

December 14, 2001
11:08 am
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eve
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My cat also has this lower urinary tract problem when winter comes. I guess it's just like for us: when the sit somewhere cold they catch a bladder problem - only in cats its mainly the males that have problems.

By the way - Blondie? How's Magic doing?

Theres one small thing that most vets won't know: cats whith this problem need to increase their water uptake and there is a simple trick to hekp do that: cats drink more when the water is not in the same place as the food. (My tom never drinks from his tray anyway, only from the flower pots).

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to your cat 🙂

December 14, 2001
11:55 am
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damaged
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Bright colors and your own beaded jewerly.... I think thats is awsome!!! Ever since I got out of rehabe bright colors is were it's at for me. Orange is my faviorate, also for the first time I am wearing a beaded necklace I made my self. My son hates it and I love it. You go girl and keep wearing those bright colors. I just love it!!!

December 14, 2001
12:30 pm
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gypsygirl
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE love kitties I miss mine

December 14, 2001
12:59 pm
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Molly
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years ago when my Sam, got his UTI, the vet said neutered males, its like a given and they need to eat low magnesiam food, most of the stuff in the pet stores are labeled for us. I haven't had a problem since he started eating it like 9 years ago, just the fur balls, but they now have a furball food, go figure, but he won't eat it.
I might share as well, Mr. Jonz has a real sensitive stomach, so I purchased a small bag of sensitive stomach food for him to try, same brand as the other that I give him, and it turned him in to a rancid toot machine. Just a heads up on that one, it was really really bad. but damn funny to watch the guy get scared with his own toots.

December 14, 2001
1:10 pm
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"Science Diet" catfood is supposed to be very good for the male cats, if you can get your cat to eat the dry food (some of them just flat out won't). They might make soft food now tho, this was a few years back that my old Tigger had his problems.

December 14, 2001
1:43 pm
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Thanks for the kitty info. Gabby has been on Iams reduced calorie 'cause he ballooned up from 12 to 15 lbs. and my vet got concerned. I'll have to go home and check the label and see what's in it. If I have to switch from that to Science Diet, I don't think I'll have a problem with him--he used to scarf my b.f.'s deceased kitty's high priced Prescription Diet food whenever possible--finicky he isn't.

I also heard from my sister that distilled water is the best water for a cat to drink--but that's the only vet I know of that believes that.

Molly, your cat was scared of his own toots? That's funny. I can picture him leaping--all fours off the ground--every time he lets one rip.

damaged, I like color combos--like a rich mustard yellow and olive green or
rich violets and deep blues. I haunt thrift stores for clothes and it takes me time to build outfits. It's kind of like treasure hunting--for me it's the only way to shop. Once I get an outfit then I make jewelry to match.
Anyway, thanks all. I'm back from the holiday lunch and the food was good-2 helpings plus dessert and I will now go into a food induced coma.
Later.
Love,
Artist:)

December 17, 2001
12:58 pm
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pam g fu
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artist

things will be okay, i am the same with paying my son's attorney fees 250.00 this week and 250.00 next week it doesn't leave much room for anything else since i am the only one bringing in any money. i feel the same way the holidays are going to pass us by and life will be like it was it is just for a while and we need to remember the real meaning of christmas. your baby will be fine

December 17, 2001
1:27 pm
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Thanks,Pam. He will be fine but he scared me this weekend--he stopped peeing altogether so it was off to the emergency clinic as my vet was closed. When I got there and the vet checked him out, he peed in her hand--I guess he just needed a little stimulation(ha). He is on a special and expensive diet now and will be on it more than likely for the rest of his life. Nothing can cure this condition except time, distilled water and special food--that's how the obstruction passes--we just have to watch him carefully and make sure the he doesn't get completely blocked.
The bill wasn't as bad as it could have been--so I was lucky.

I'm sorry to hear about your financial woes.
Maybe we get so devastated when normal life happens at special times like Christmas because we expect so much more from the holidays--like all strife and worries should stop and not happen until the holiday magic can uplift us and we can
forget all the bad things that happen in life. We desparately need a breather from all of life's cr*p--but it doesn't come ready made no matter how much we want it to.
So, I guess the true meaning of Christmas is the good feelings we can hold in our hearts toward ourselves and our family and friends IN SPITE of all hits that just keep on coming
in our lives. What do ya think--is that close?

Do your best to take it light.

Artist:)

December 17, 2001
4:27 pm
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pam g fu
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artist

you are so right, but with you honey i had a cat that had the same thing and i just her the special food and it took care of the problem i believe they have a hard time digesting magnesium and you have to get that special food that help control urinary infections your honey will be fine and so will I, your advice is good, you will be fine also. thanks.

December 18, 2001
8:43 am
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And my cat, too???
Artist 🙂

December 18, 2001
9:35 am
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pam g fu
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just hug and love those furry little friends of yours.

December 18, 2001
12:43 pm
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Molly
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bah, friggin humbug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

note, no children in my next life.
intention, threat, promise, commitment, wish, hope,.......
just dogs and cats...... men, maybe.

December 18, 2001
12:57 pm
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Molly, what's up? Glad the 4-legged furries are still on your good side and possibly men as they are after all dogs best friend.
Artist

December 18, 2001
7:36 pm
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pam g fu
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artust

you are so right about men being dogs

December 18, 2001
8:23 pm
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Molly
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artist, see Just Because...........

ingrates, wait till they do labor, get fat, spend every last dime to satisfy their whims, get them through college, do they even recall all papers I helped them write, the science projects, and what about the time I was a softball manager, that really sucked, and they can just take a break from me, the dresses I sewed, the cookies I baked, all that PTA crap,friggin slumber parties, time in the class room, sold candy, raffel tickets, bought raffel tickets, because it wasn't safe for them to be out there, all the damn times they wouldn't make the time to come home and I just jumped in my car to go to their aid, a panic attack at 9pm, good ole mom was there by midnight,PmS cures, boyfriend crap, friend crap, never grounded, never a problem, she only made every other car payment, she said I was her hero when she made home comming court, was that just because I found the dress?
I never wore slippers to pick them up from school after the first time. the vacations that they went on, shoulda been like sis, and left the kids at home. Ugh and why does the youngest co-sign the oldest shit???? They were spoiled, and right now I don't know if I want to be nice, so how long is a break, guess Dad's new girl friend, ugh yea, that is one of the big changes, is better right now, prettier, younger, well connected, contacts, ahhhhhhh the new family unit. Opps, ugh was I possesed ? I am better now.

December 18, 2001
10:56 pm
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I wish my mother was like you. I was always made to feel like I should not be making noise or even allowed to feel anyting or even be there. I have huge gaps in my memory from my childhood. starting to remember though. My sister who is two years older than me does not remember me at all from when we were little, my mother says I always hated her, and never uttered a word to her, my father, who up untill I was 16 was my complete hero, my oldest brother I do not remember, my older brother, well we wont discuss that. Poor little Rachel who was the youngest of them all and watched them all slowly go insane, Thought I was safe with just depression, than my depression turned into full blown anxiety attacks, then those turned into "OH MY GOD I HAVE THREE OTHER PEOPLE THAT I AM SUDDENLY AWARE OF) Shit, I have finally recieved the rights of passage and now I am one of the family. Hope my son does not ever recieve his.

I have been having memories, I used to take baths with my father??? my barbies used to have sex, I even had the very first bald butch gay barbie.
At 5 or 6 I wanted to be a stripper and pose for the "dirty" magazines. I do not remember my mother, well barely I used to see god when I was awake in my bed at night. He would come to be and i was afraid of him cause I had been bad. I did not ever remember crying as a kid. I peed my pants straight through the seventh grade. I posed for poloriads for my brothers at about 7. We even had our own naked new years eve party that year cause my dad was in germany and my mom, well she must have been at church. Must have been there throughout my whole fucking childhood. No wonder I never fucking talked to her. I was everyones fuck toy. I remember when I was 10 my brothers best friend raped me in the laundry mat in front of my two best friends and my brother. then told the whole neighborhood and blackmailed me threating to tell mom if I did not do what he wanted. I would wake up at night and remember someones fingers were inside of me. Never opened MY EYES TO SEE WHO IT WAS. Found out my brother used to spy on me in the bath when he wanted to show me the peep hole. I guess all I ever wanted was for my mother to love me. Still do. a few years ago, about five i guess my mother walked in on my brother sitting on his bed with my five y/o neice lying naked on the bed. decided she would just take the girl and keep her away from him. I guess she tries to forget it cause when she told me, I told her if she did not report it than I would. well she finally did. The brother had just been diagnosed as beeing schizophrenic. he spent a good amount of time in jail getting his ass kicked. well they did all the test on him to determine if he is a pedophile and believe it or not he passed. I still have the report. he is living with his bi-polar girlfriend now and are getting married this month. Asked mom the other day if I used to take baths with dad she said yeah, he did with all you kids. except my sister. then she asked " why? Does that bother you?" well yeah!!! then she tries to tell me she doesnt really remember that well??? does she not want to? she was severly abused as a child. She is now a nurse and is about to get a degree in PSYCH and is "taking notes" on me now. I have always had this pent up rage at her since she busted up the family at 14. but I never knew it ran this deep.

No wonder I am multiple, I was not allowed to feel. had to be quiet all of the time. was everyones toy, never slept cause afraid of what might happen. All of this in a morman family? god forbid! always thought I was a sinner and was never good enough.

Sorry, needed to get that out. feel a bit better now.

December 18, 2001
11:26 pm
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booker
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Gypsy,

I don't want to say that I can feel your pain, because I would be lying. But I do want to tell you that I have known you for a good amount of years and I know you are strong and will survive this because you are one of the strongest people I know. I finally realize that you can't have anybody close in your life and I accept that. I just want you to realize that there is somebody that believes in you and what your about.I have had a really hard past few years as you should know about, but could not have survived without you and your strength. You have made me a better person and a more compassionate person. I believe you will strive to help people any way you can because you have that power. So remember that you are and will always be loved by the people that you help.

December 19, 2001
8:15 am
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Molly,
Your kids don't know what a great Mom they have--you are a wonderful caring person--please don't doubt this because your kids are being insensitive to your needs right now.
Ex's new girlfriend is Ms.Popularity right now,eh?--well, that's OK--your Mom and there is nothing that will change that--let her have her 15 minutes of fame--it doesn't change who you are and how great you are.

Do whatever makes YOU happy for the holidays and let the kids be selfish boobs--you don't have any control over that--they are pretty much grown up, right?

Come , spend time with us--we'll listen.
Love,

Artist:)

December 20, 2001
6:39 pm
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Molly
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Artist, thank you, ugh where am I going? Its hard, but I think duh, I am going to be ok. I keep trying to practice what I preach, let it go, but I find my self at a stop light having these dialogues, or writing these letters. Every one knows how tight we were and it just kills me when they ask, how are the girls, I wanna say see this black arm band, see this ripped sleve ? I would love to do that drama seen, but say oh they are gggggreat. then I get the oh, your so lucky. My kids , ugh ugh those people from my womb, really didn't give me a hard time while they were growing up, that is the kicker. Like the reason I was able to pick up the phone, was that If they were three, and said mommy I hate you, I would have gone yea right, even at 13, but what do you do at 23, when your thinking the kid is possesed ?
It really is all my fault, I spoiled them gave them and when I read things like Gypsygirl writes it just kills me. She still talks to her mom, damn it. Just proves how mixed up life is.
Not that you shouldn't talk to your mom gypsygirl, it could help you to health. Sounds like you kids had way to much exposure, and time unsupervised. That whole sexual abuse thing too, damn damn damn, sometimes I wonder if the rigidness of some of the religions should be in place, damn people don't know what to do with free will. Its that controll thing to, I do like it, and when I don't its just so damn frustrating that friggin NO word. Well I haven't written any one, nor have I called, I would like to send their aunt a thank you note for messing with my marriage, kids, and holiday joy, but where would that go ? I would like to beg their dad or grandmother to ugh like a little support here, but they don't get involved, yea right. Then there is the two by four, I would love to smack on both of their heads to see if they come out of their soul possesion, or snap out of it, but would get arrested for attacking them. I want to shout we could all be dead tommorow, is this the way you want to end things, are you really complete with what your doing ? Instead I just pray, for love in my heart, as well as their's and for forgivness, for me and for them, what ever the hell it was I did.
Gypsygirl, I am so sorry. Have faith, keep your sense of humor.

December 20, 2001
7:14 pm
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Molly if you want I can be your daughter, I will always talk to you and show up for holidays and bring my laundry over and my little boy. I would bring you surprizes when you were feeling down. You could even teach me how to cook and have compassion and etc...

December 21, 2001
10:34 am
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HEAR, HEAR!!!
Artist

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