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baglioni1010 in identity crisis
July 14, 2009
4:51 pm
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baglioni1010
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hello!

For some time now I've been going thru something of an identity crisis which I've learned may be attributed to a childhood of codependency and that delayed my healthy development.

My question (I guess I'm seeking similar stories/experiences?) is whether to try to develop an identity on my own or to seek a counselor/therapist to help me through the difficult process.

I cannot quite remember the last time I felt "me." Can anyone relate?

I appreciate your reading this,

baglioni1010

July 14, 2009
5:02 pm
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mistyrain
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I think I know what you mean. I dont even know what the real me is anymore. I have just been depressed and dont know how to act normal or get back to normal.

Not sure if that is what you meant but I have been looking for myself too.

July 14, 2009
5:40 pm
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laughalot
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I don't know if I have every known who I really am. I am in my third marriage and my friend referred to me once as a "chameleon". I lose myself in my partner and turn in to what they want me to be.

I am now in therapy and feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It is nice to talk to someone who won't judge you and has the expertise to help. I am also reading "CoDependent No More" which is a real eye opener.

I highly recommend outside help - at least to get you started on the right path. Just taking that little step will make you feel better.

Good Luck!

July 14, 2009
6:14 pm
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fantas
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Baglioni1010,

I know what you mean. The fact that you are asking these questions means that you are already doing work towards blending all of who you are instead of living as a fragmented person, which is how my therapist described what I was trying to know. As a codependent, I found myself trying to be what everyone wanted me to do. It's not that I didn't know who I was, it's just that I didn't think I was good enough and tried to hide it from myself and everyone. I'm now in the process of looking at and liking me, regardless of who or what is around me. Not an easy or perfect task. The key for me isn't to reach some sort of notion of who I think I am but to love and accept the me I am today, another difficult task for me.

I have sought all kinds of assistance and help for myself. There is not shame in seeking therapy or any assistance out there. If we knew how to fix it, we wouldn't be going through these experiences. Each step of our healing journey required different skills. It's time to invest the time and effort on yourself. You are the most precious task and you deserve the very best assistance there is out there. I'm so happy for you because you wrote here and made that step.

Keep reading and posting. Many of us here get where you are coming from.

July 14, 2009
7:02 pm
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mistyrain
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Fantas,

I agree with you. That is exactly what I have been doing. Trying to be who other people want me to be and I ended up hating myself.

July 14, 2009
7:27 pm
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baglioni1010
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What confirmation that I'm not crazy! 😀 It's very gratifying have others understand this issue. YOUR VOICES ARE INVALUABLE! 🙂

I think I will talk to a counselor soon, if only to get that perspective of neutrality and support. These things take time and courage I guess.

You're all fabulous; thank you so much for your time in this.

<3

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