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bad day
August 11, 2001
3:59 am
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gypsygirl
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I am having a really bad day, I have no one to talk to, that will understand. I cant even sleep it away. I've fallen into the pit and I have no strengh to pull myself out. Things have been going so well for me, but once again, like clockwork, I have been cast into the depths of Hell. I know that certain things I set myself up for, like trying to stay friends with my ex-fiance. Ha Ha! I know that he is the ruin of me, but he is the only person I have let into my madness. And he does not even understand it. He is still trying to control my life and gets upset whenI dont let him. I thought that since I told him the boundries of our new relationship that he would be adult about it and respect them. How wrong I was! I needed him this week because my truck craped out on me. He lent me his and it also craped out on me. My air conditioner is ratteling, My child decided to leave the boys and girls club with his friend and snuck out. They were gone for over an hour and no one noticed. He is six years old. I was livid to say the least.These all are little things, (expept the sneaking out thing) It all builds up and crashes down on me to where I feel like I cannot deal anymore. I am exaused and I cannot sleep. I cant even think straight to rant and rave about my feelings. I have such a fear of people that I am always nervous about posting. Fear of rejection I guess.

August 11, 2001
6:15 am
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hunt
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First of all, you have to recognize what you feel. We all have our ups and downs. But one thing is certain:
THIS WILL PASS. So just hold on,ok?
I've been through that before and I survived.
SMILE, GOD LOVES YOU!!!

August 11, 2001
6:44 pm
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gingerleigh
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Gypsy, you have no obligation to be friends with your ex. Civil? Perhaps... but friends? Nah. Maybe eventually when you have healed and he has changed you might want to be friends with him because you might see good friendship qualities in him, but why torture yourself with it right now?

Gypsy, you never have to be nervous about posting here. What is the absolute worst that could happen if you write something "dumb" or "offensive"? A bunch of nameless faceless voices in the ether write back "flame letters" saying that you were "dumb" or "offensive", at which point you could either apologize and everyone will go "that's OK, we were just venting", or you could sign out, change your login name, and start posting again and no one would be the wiser...

I've been flamed here for stuff I've said... hey, I even got called a fat cow by one angry gal *grin* It's all OK, even if we are shy in "regular" life, we can speak out here or start discussion here and be heard by patient and caring people who will let us be ourselves.

You're going through some hard stuff, really really hard stuff, and sometimes even just getting it out "on paper" helps a little, that, and knowing that someone is "listening"...

We're listening, Gypsygirl. *hug*

August 12, 2001
4:11 am
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gypsygirl
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Thank you guys. You all show me things from a different perspective. It really helps me when you reply. Also when I read other posts I can see my own life in them.

August 13, 2001
9:35 am
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janes
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Yeah....can't life just be sit sometimes....

I'd be livid about the sneaking out too.

Exfiance'....c;mon....you really truly belieived he'd be acult about it all?
I have a bridge you can buy sweetie.

Hang in there...sometimes I get som down I don't know where up is anymore...just press on...that's what we girls do ya know.

We love you...even that "fat cow"....Ginger leigh....what did she call me...it was equally rude.

Hang in there gypsy......good luck...

go find something pretty...
remember ....after you have been in the pit the sunshine seems that much brighter.

August 13, 2001
9:43 pm
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Molly
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So, other than the bad day, how is life in general, how and what are you doing for you. I am sure the timing of your car wasn't the best, and having to ask the ex-wanna be adult, who wasn't that is why he is the ex, wasn't on your list of things to do, and then, the boys and girls club, loosing your son for an hour, ahhhhhh the challenge of the daily BS.
Ever tried aromatherapy? Its amazing what a smell can do for you, lavender, jasmine, roses, ylang ylang, better than calgon!!!!

So, get Mcdonalds, rent a video, plug the kid in, and go lock your self in the bathroom, for at least 15 minuets.

August 14, 2001
4:53 pm
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gypsygirl
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Life in general? Hmmm..... It kinda sucks. I go to work come home try to eat something, try to sleep, try to do some writing but I have no concentration. I like my job but it is waitressing, I serve people all day. It is good money, but sometimes not worth it. I used to bartend, run a small casino, also do a little bookeeping, but believe it or not I get treated alot better doing what I am now, better money too. My friends? well the ones that haven't moved away I dont hang out with because I am past the whole partying scene, and that is what they like. My family? well they are just plain out of the question.So I am left with my six year old and my ex and his mother whom I am very close with, but I dont talk with her because she is upset that we broke up. There are some mutual friends that I talk with once in a while but we really dont have that much in commen except for my ex. I am looking forward to school starting next week so I will keep myself busy and work towards my goal of getting the hell out of this town. AM I RAMBLING ON? sorry. I was so down today that I was physicaly Ill. right now I am only taking 10mg of my meds and I used to take 20mg So I think that is why they are not working. But I can't refill my scrip yet because I dont have insurance anymore and $70.00 is alot of money. Next week I will be able to fill it. Also my appt. is next week so I can finally start counseling again. One day at a time, one deep breath at a time, and please only one crisis at a time.

August 17, 2001
7:14 pm
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jadadavinci
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Dear Gypsygirl,

Wow! You are going through alot. Sounds like you need some support and an ear to listen. If you ever want to chat/talk email me: [email protected], hotmail, yahoo, or msn. Hope things go better for you. 🙂

Jada

August 18, 2001
4:36 am
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gypsygirl
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Thanks Jada, I think I will e-mail you

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