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Back in the game,,, but????
June 18, 2009
10:58 pm
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nexpose
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September 24, 2010
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Not sure if a few remember me but I posted a month or more ago about my GF leaving and will I ever forget her. Know there are tons of those but know it's me. 😛

Since those more depressing posts, I've gotten out on some dates. One gal I really really liked but got the ole, "I don't feel a connection."

So in this post I want to really get into the more deep psychology of attraction or guess how I get my game back? 🙂

This gal and I had so many common interests but over time I've realized that really doesn't mean squat. I feel a mistake for our first meeting was to go Salsa dancing. Or at least trying on my side, haha. We both love cultural events and things like that and online is how we met We both seemed very interested.

I'm really thinking my dominance and lead as a guy is lacking and I know for you women reading this that's a key in attraction. I mean I hear none of you want a wussy and don't want to condemn myself to that but from the lingering pain of the last relationship I know it still affects me.

Plus I'm reserved at first anyway so it's like a double whammy for me.

Another problem is that I can really write well online and bring it big time. It's not like I'm lying, not at all but just have this comfort level.

I still feel with the one lady it was fine but after two dates she called it quits.

A big question is why women give up so quickly? I mean I just never know so early so I guess that's all chalked up to the male / female differences.

Maybe we were on different levels too since she's going for her Masters.

But in the end I just feel I need to bring it more and be a man. To show that confidence, be interesting, be humorous and just be a well rounded cool guy.

Now the real reason I'm writing after the fact of the one that didn't feel a connection, I now have a new gal that gave me her phone number so I know that's a good sign. We met at a dating site too.

She seems very cordial, nice, yet fun and intriguing. Then again I see her being on a higher level for education and career so who knows?

I know it'd be great to meet for a drink and who knows if I'll be interested but to get things past a certain level seems pretty challenging for me.

I mean I want to give a woman space but also show I'm interested.

I feel it's great I'm trying but I don't want to blow things if that's how it is with a woman I really like.

Thanks for listening.

June 19, 2009
3:47 am
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sunshine88
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wowwa! nexpose! GREAT to see you here, and over and done with with that girl. first, congratulations to you for getting over her, and always remind yourself at how big a step that was.

you know, am no expert, so i will just speak for myself. i think i can tell when a guy is trying too hard. i think i would be more attracted to a guy who just lets himself be. that spells confidence, and some level of authenticity. but maybe that explains why i've never been into a long term relationship at 34 (hahaha to me on that one!)

am glad that you found a girl you really like. some of us can't feel a thing after a breakup, no matter how hard we try.

so the gist of what i am trying to say, is be yourself. dont try to push yourself to be more. let things happen naturally. i think it's best. you could be amazed at what being yourself can do.

all the best to you, nexpose, and am really happy for ya! keep in touch.

June 19, 2009
11:28 am
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Zebra
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nexpose,

Congratulations on moving on...good man. Anyway, my thought runs on the same line as sunshine88. Be yourself and don't try so hard to impress someone. They should like you and be interested in you for who you are; not who you are trying to be. It may take a few dates with different people before you find one.

I have been on a few dates myself lately and I know right away whether or not the guy is trying to hard, not being himself and if I am interested in continuting to see him or not.

so don't be hard on yourself, be you. YOU are allYOU need to be.

Love, Z

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