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back here again if anyone remembers me and feeling kind of sad
September 12, 2005
11:17 pm
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jewel
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Hi all. I have been coming to this site for around one and a half years. Not lately because my computer was not working. However, I am back if anyone remembers me that would be great. I feel so sad tonight. I am looking for work and have not been successful, lost a baby due to a miscarriage a few months ago, and just feel sad. I need to talk to someone, please!!

September 12, 2005
11:26 pm
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jewel
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I hate feeling depressed. I am not a negative person. I always see good in everything. However tonight, I don't feel so positive and would like to talk to someone about my negative thoughts.

September 12, 2005
11:31 pm
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22haha
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jewel, I am here if you want to talk.

September 12, 2005
11:31 pm
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jewel
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PLEASE, anyone out there that can listen to me!

September 12, 2005
11:32 pm
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jewel
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22haha,
I am here.

September 12, 2005
11:32 pm
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22haha
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Jewel, what is on your mind???

September 12, 2005
11:34 pm
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jewel
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Right now, I am so depressed. I am upset about everything. Mostly about the loss of my baby due to a miscarriage. Plus ever once in a while I drink too much.

September 12, 2005
11:40 pm
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22haha
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Have you gone to talk to someone about the miscarriage? Do you realize that alcohol is a depressant and will only make you feel worse? What are you feeling now? Has any thing brough on these feeling lately?

September 12, 2005
11:44 pm
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jewel
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Yes I know that alcohol is a depressant and will make me feel worse. I am not fully over losing the baby though. Feel so alone and it is hard for me to see babies. Last night was hard when I heard a baby crying in a store waiting in line. It was so hard. I can not even explain how I felt because it was so bad.

September 12, 2005
11:48 pm
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jewel
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Everytime I see a baby or hear a baby just makes me almost break down. My boyfriend is there for me, but the pain is just so deep for me. I worry that I am making a big deal out of something that others could handle much better. I feel so low right now.

September 12, 2005
11:48 pm
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22haha
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All I can say is that everything happens for a reason. I know this sounds lame to you and not helpful but when it is your time to have a healthy, happy baby - you will. For whatever reason your body decided that this pregnancy was not right. I can only offer you to look to the future and know that you will be a great mom to a healthy child when the time is right. I think it would benefit you to see someone about your feelings.

September 12, 2005
11:57 pm
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jewel
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22haha,

Thank you so much for responding and listening to me. That meant a lot. You are right. I am sure that I lost my baby for a reason. Something probably wasn't right. I hate to think that but that is probably the truth. I just wish I could lose the sadness and not drink sometimes.

Hugs from Jewel

September 13, 2005
12:02 am
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22haha
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Jewel, hugs to you. You could drink less - it is a choice. When you feel the urge to drink you must get control of the situation and find something productive to do. Just a story for you: My brother and his wife had a baby - 9 days later my sister in law passed away (28yrs old) I have been raising this baby for 3 years now (since day 9). Honestly, you really need to believe that that something wasn't right. It will be one day and until then you cry if you need to but don't let alcohol be your crutch! Hugs to you tonight.

September 13, 2005
12:14 am
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jewel
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22haha,

I have not been drinking lately. Every once in a while I do though. I guess the truth is every so often when I do drink, maybe the miscarriage does bring it on.
Anyway, I am so sorry about your sister-in-law. I hope you will not be upset if I ask what happened to her. That brought me to tears what you wrote. Hugs to you.

Jewel

September 13, 2005
12:37 am
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jewel
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I am feeling so lonely tonight and would like to talk to someone. Anyone that would like to talk to me??????????????

September 13, 2005
1:05 am
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mamacinnamon
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Hi Jewel:

I remember you. I am sorry you've had a rough couple months.

Let's talk

September 13, 2005
6:29 am
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CAMER
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((HI Jewel))) yes, i remember you and sending you (((warm hugs)))) and know that you are not alone......know that my prayers are with you & hope you are doing ok during this difficult time.

love, camer

September 13, 2005
8:38 am
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jewel
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Thanks mamacinnamon and camer!!! I just can't seem to snap out of this depression that I have been in. I am trying to stay positive, but it is really hard at this time.

September 13, 2005
8:45 am
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CAMER
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Hi Jewel....just keep saying the word positive, and keep telling yourself things will be ok, cuz they really will....hold onto yourself, hug yourself and love yourself....and here are some ((((hugs from me to you))))))) 🙂 Camer

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