Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
Attention seeking
March 11, 2010
4:34 pm
Avatar
Basho
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have 2 step daughters one 10 yrs old and one 12 yrs old who are constantly seeking attention. The 12 yr old "K" will wet the bed even though she finds it embarrassing to get attention whilst the 10 yr old "A" will argue so that you have to keep talking to her. There is also a lot of sibling rivalry trying to gain attention. We try and give them equal amounts of attention and the more we give, it seems, the more they want. When we don't give them attention they will be showing challenging behaviour. As I said "A" will argue and keep asking "Why?" even when the answer is obvious and then when you answer her she will continue with the "Why" asking. Eventually we are exasperated and don't answer as it is a vicious circle. The good thing about the situation is that when my wife and I are alone we make the very best of our time together. Is it good to give them as much attention as they require bearing in mind that they wont get it as adults or is it okay to ignore certain behaviour in view of not getting the desired attention they crave?

March 11, 2010
5:01 pm
Avatar
truthBtold
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Basho,

I'm assuming that you are a male and are talking about your step-daughters?

Might I ask how long you have been married?

Could it possibly be that they miss their dad and this is the only way they know how to deal with their anxiety?

Did their dad die or was it via a divorce?

If the latter, is their dad still a part of their lives?

(Just grasping at straws here given the info that you provided.)

Usually 'attention-seeking' is just that. A need to be just be heard, recognized and validated by the 'authority-figures' present in their little lives and at hand.

Moreso, is just an unprecendented need to above all, just simply feel safe, secure and reassured that - no matter what...... everything will be OK ansd that they are loved, protected and secure - Bar None!

(That's my little 2 cents anyway - for what it might be worth.)

tBt

March 12, 2010
2:51 pm
Avatar
Basho
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you truthBtold. Your 2 cents is worth much more lol. Yes I am male and we have been married since Oct (Halloween)although I have been a part of their lives for 18 months. Yes their father is a part of their lives every weekend. But then we have had a lot of change with moving from one town to another,new schools and new relationships... Seems to be making more sense now. Thanks a million tBt.

March 12, 2010
3:12 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What would constitute "challenging behavior?"

Has the bed-wetter been evaluated by her pediatrician, to rule out any physical causes? And to suggest therapeutic approaches to resolving this for the poor kid?

- Ma Strong

March 15, 2010
5:34 pm
Avatar
Basho
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

StronginHim77 you are right about using the term Challenging Behaviour for enurinesis. Not appropriate.
Yes she is undergoing checks for physical reasons to her problems but is first under a course of antibiotics in case she has a UTI.
We are trying not to make a big deal about it just acknowledge it, change the bedding without fuss and let the professionals handle it.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
34
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information