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At war with my STBX
May 23, 2010
8:36 pm
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nvr2late
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ha ha, sometimes I do that too! Stop myself from writing my kids or my name..so, don't feel bad..I might have actually done it and do not know!

Tell me about the open house!!! How exciting! I LOVE NYC...and this traffic is a little like yours, but different...motorcycles going in and out of cars...and they are extremely aggressive drivers.

but, what fun...it was such a great trip, I cannot say enough about it! I loved it there...but did miss the kids, so it was tough...kind of split.

You know, I bet it is hard for you to keep your mouth shut, I know that guys don't 'see' the mess, that is what I think was wrong with my ex at times, seriously...how can you NOT see that??? and my niece, she says the same thing..
really?

maybe it is the fact that both of them had things all done for them, they have not had to take that kind of responsibilty?

I don't know, but drives me crazy too...when I see my niece's room, I just want to tell her to leave!

I don't know, I am trying to figure all that out...maybe it is me..and I am difficult to live with?

I have to think about that a little!

let me know what happened and I am sorry about your son, my niece has ADD and is on medication, but it is not much better!

nvr

May 23, 2010
10:53 pm
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sad sack
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Hi,

The open house was interesting (actually, I went to two others as well). The first house looked nice on the outside but the inside was a different story. The house looked as if it were decorated in the 1800's. I wish I could send photos. The oven was older than the one that Lucy Ricardo used in I LOVE LUCY. Every room was in need of a major overhaul. The walls had a cloth texture to them (I really never have seen such decorating before). The basement was not finished so that would have cost me a small fortune to renovate. Anyway, I decided that I am too old (with not enough financial resources) to buy a major fixer upper. In that neighborhood, you basically are paying for the address. So that house WILL sell but only because of where it is located. Perhaps, if I were younger and wealthier, then I would consider it. But I am not, so it would be a foolish act. .... The second home was very old also but the real estate agent honestly told us that the garage wall is crumbling and needs to be replaced and there is mold on one of the ceilings. There were other things wrong as well, so again, I have no intentions of making that purchase. The third home was not in need of repair but was priced at over $1 million dollars. It was so NOT worth it. Again, it is the neighborhood. Well, I guess I will just be staying put in my home. It is not in the best neighborhood in New York, but it is nice enough. At least, it is paid for and I won't go broke trying to renovate it.

On a more serious note, my mom told me that my brother may have cancer. He went in to the emergency room and was told that he needs to be admitted. They did an MRI and found a suspicious mass on his lymph nodes (in his throat area). My brother just assumed he had swollen glands -- never suspecting them to be something so serious. He refused to be admitted because his daughter is coming in from out of state and he did not want her to see him in a hospital bed. I spoke to him this evening and he told me that promises he will go back to the doctor once my niece leaves (which is next week). I will certainly keep you posted. I have been numb ever since hearing the news. 🙁

Thanks for listening and thanks for your support.

sad

May 31, 2010
9:15 am
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nvr2late
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sad, I am so sorry about your brother...has there been any news? Wow, I remember a YEAR (was that all it was????) on Memorial Day that my cousin had to wait ONE more day to find out the results...we were all together at my grandmother's grave...we kept saying 'it is nothing , it is nothing'
and today we are going to her grave and then my grandmothers...terrible...but, you are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope things turn out differently for you....

as for the house, wow $1M....yikes!
and I get the not wanting to fix anything up...that comes with a lot of work and a lot of resources...

you will find what you want/need...as I believe things are directed towards you when you need them, people, things...situations.

It is hot here in WI, I know you are getting a little of it to, I have a friend in CT that tells me.

we really did not get a spring.

2 classes ended for the spring term, I still have a 4.0 at least for now.

I am taking an accelerated course for the summmer, was going to take 2..but, dropped the 2nd one, I need a little break at some point this year! and then 3 classes in the fall.

I need to take a step back and start seeing the things that I have been avoiding..my cousin's death, my son's diagnosis', and the custody thing that I hope to figure out soon.

I was making impulsive decisions and trying to figure things out for my son...he needs calm and not all the doctor's thrown at him...I have a path for him and now I just need him to be a kid...

so, I don't ask why did this happen, but rather..what can I do with this.

and that is where I need to be...

my cousin taught me, life is too short to be angry all the time..and God only gives us moments (she said that in a dream I had about her...not sure where it came from but the next day in church..there was a quote that was along those lines....a God moment, i guess)

so, we are progressing along...I wish ready was still here, but I get that she has to take a break, sometimes always reliving these things has a damaging affect on us!

hope you have a great day!

nvr

June 1, 2010
12:05 pm
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sad sack
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Hi NVR,

It is so hot here, too (and humid). We had too little of Spring-type weather also (that always happens). Winter and summer take up more than their fair share of time. I definitely would prefer more Spring and more Fall-like weather.

It is so hard to believe that it was only a year ago that your cousin was first diagnosed. So much happened in that one year. I know how difficult that was (and I am sure, still is) for you.

My brother will know more on Thursday when he goes into the hospital. I am trying to remain positive but it is hard. He is experiencing pain in so many other places on his body and that makes me worry. I am trying so hard not to think of things because I know I will just break down if I do. I worry so much about my mother also as she already lost her eldest son. I believe she will just go off the deep end if anything were to happen to her other son. It is hard to comfort her when I am feeling such an overwhelming sense of grief myself.

When you said that you miss READY, it made me think of something. In addition to writing and sharing on this thread, I write on another one (Need Advice - I slept with my ex...). Since there are only two of us here, perhaps, you would like to join in the discussions over there. I find myself repeating the same information here that I do over there. I really think you would like it on that thread as the women are just like you and READY (very supportive, intelligent, wise and kind). Anyway, if you came over there, you would be able to get feedback from many different women (other than just myself). I want to do what feels comfortable for you. If you would prefer to stay here, I will respect your wishes. Just let me know what you think about my idea.

Well, I need to get back to work so I will sign off now. Oh, good for you for doing so well in your courses. I don't know how you do it. I have the utmost respect and admiration for you.

Let me know what happens with the custody dispute. Thinking of you.

(((NVR)))

sad

June 6, 2010
8:00 am
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nvr2late
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Hey...I will check that thread out...maybe we should continue there.
Thank you...nice idea!

Let me know what is going on with your brother, I know that it is hard to remain positive..I actually got through my cousins stuff FROM my cousin, she never gave up hope so even when I was there the day she died, I still believed she was going to pull through this...she kept me in her safe bubble..I finally realized what was happening at the end...denial, maybe..but, it worked for me...although did not work after as I still have not grieved it fully.

so, it pops in and out..anger sometimes, crying sometimes.

I will be praying for the best for your brother, and you and your mom...I cannot even imagine what she is going through, nor do I want to.

it has gotten cold here...which is kind of nice...

my niece went away this weekend (4 hours away) to meet a guy she met on the internet...my gosh, I was just undecided how I like that, but i am not her mother, so I cannot say a thing.

it is a tough line to be on, that is for sure.

I will check out that thread now, thinking of you!

keep me posted

custody stuff is not moving anywhere, I have yet to sit down with my ex and discuss, as he cancelled my son's last appt with his psychologist..in which I was going to propose trying 7 on 7 off..I don't like it at all, but it is not about me.

my ex will not like it, that is for sure..cramps his style and his dating..but, something needs to be done.

the other stuff, child support, my ex is fighting now, but that is just numbers and it is what it is..if he is telling the truth, he will have CS lowered and I will have to figure that out, but I will..as I have always done.

talk soon....

take care.
nvr

May 31, 2010
12:00 am
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nvr2late
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Member Since:
September 27, 2010
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sad,
I am so sorry about your brother...has there been any news? Wow, I
remember a YEAR (was that all it was????) on Memorial Day that my
cousin had to wait ONE more day to find out the results...we were
all together at my grandmother's grave...we kept saying 'it is
nothing , it is nothing' and today we are going to her grave and
then my grandmothers...terrible...but, you are in my thoughts and
prayers, I hope things turn out differently for you....

as for the house,
wow $1M....yikes! and I get the not wanting to fix anything
up...that comes with a lot of work and a lot of
resources...

you will find what
you want/need...as I believe things are directed towards you when
you need them, people, things...situations.

It is hot here in
WI, I know you are getting a little of it to, I have a friend in CT
that tells me.

we really did not
get a spring.

2 classes ended
for the spring term, I still have a 4.0 at least for
now.

I am taking an
accelerated course for the summmer, was going to take 2..but,
dropped the 2nd one, I need a little break at some point this year!
and then 3 classes in the fall.

I need to take a
step back and start seeing the things that I have been avoiding..my
cousin's death, my son's diagnosis', and the custody thing that I
hope to figure out soon.

I was making
impulsive decisions and trying to figure things out for my son...he
needs calm and not all the doctor's thrown at him...I have a path
for him and now I just need him to be a kid...

so, I don't ask
why did this happen, but rather..what can I do with
this.

and that is where
I need to be...

my cousin taught
me, life is too short to be angry all the time..and God only gives
us moments (she said that in a dream I had about her...not sure
where it came from but the next day in church..there was a quote
that was along those lines....a God moment, i guess)

so, we are
progressing along...I wish ready was still here, but I get that she
has to take a break, sometimes always reliving these things has a
damaging affect on us!

hope you have a
great day!

nvr

June 1, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
sad sack
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 78
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
2530sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi
NVR,

It is so hot here,
too (and humid). We had too little of Spring-type weather also
(that always happens). Winter and summer take up more than their
fair share of time. I definitely would prefer more Spring and more
Fall-like weather.

It is so hard to
believe that it was only a year ago that your cousin was first
diagnosed. So much happened in that one year. I know how difficult
that was (and I am sure, still is) for you.

My brother will
know more on Thursday when he goes into the hospital. I am trying
to remain positive but it is hard. He is experiencing pain in so
many other places on his body and that makes me worry. I am trying
so hard not to think of things because I know I will just break
down if I do. I worry so much about my mother also as she already
lost her eldest son. I believe she will just go off the deep end if
anything were to happen to her other son. It is hard to comfort her
when I am feeling such an overwhelming sense of grief
myself.

When you said that
you miss READY, it made me think of something. In addition to
writing and sharing on this thread, I write on another one (Need
Advice - I slept with my ex...). Since there are only two of us
here, perhaps, you would like to join in the discussions over
there. I find myself repeating the same information here that I do
over there. I really think you would like it on that thread as the
women are just like you and READY (very supportive, intelligent,
wise and kind). Anyway, if you came over there, you would be able
to get feedback from many different women (other than just myself).
I want to do what feels comfortable for you. If you would prefer to
stay here, I will respect your wishes. Just let me know what you
think about my idea.

Well, I need to
get back to work so I will sign off now. Oh, good for you for doing
so well in your courses. I don't know how you do it. I have the
utmost respect and admiration for you.

Let me know what
happens with the custody dispute. Thinking of you.

(((NVR)))

sad

June 6, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
nvr2late
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
2532sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hey...I will check that thread out...maybe we should continue
there. Thank you...nice idea!

Let me know what
is going on with your brother, I know that it is hard to remain
positive..I actually got through my cousins stuff FROM my cousin,
she never gave up hope so even when I was there the day she died, I
still believed she was going to pull through this...she kept me in
her safe bubble..I finally realized what was happening at the
end...denial, maybe..but, it worked for me...although did not work
after as I still have not grieved it fully.

so, it pops in and
out..anger sometimes, crying sometimes.

I will be praying
for the best for your brother, and you and your mom...I cannot even
imagine what she is going through, nor do I want to.

it has gotten cold
here...which is kind of nice...

my niece went away
this weekend (4 hours away) to meet a guy she met on the
internet...my gosh, I was just undecided how I like that, but i am
not her mother, so I cannot say a thing.

it is a tough line
to be on, that is for sure.

I will check out
that thread now, thinking of you!

keep me
posted

custody stuff is
not moving anywhere, I have yet to sit down with my ex and discuss,
as he cancelled my son's last appt with his psychologist..in which
I was going to propose trying 7 on 7 off..I don't like it at all,
but it is not about me.

my ex will not
like it, that is for sure..cramps his style and his dating..but,
something needs to be done.

the other stuff,
child support, my ex is fighting now, but that is just numbers and
it is what it is..if he is telling the truth, he will have CS
lowered and I will have to figure that out, but I will..as I have
always done.

talk
soon....

take care.
nvr

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